CCQ: An Enterprising Ending (at last)

 "You silly sods!"  Hound was quite cross.  "Now look what you've done."

 "What happened?  How did we get here?" a bewildered Mago asked.

 "Someone - or possibly sometwo - were thinking of Star Trek when they crashed through my hedge, weren't they?"

 Ms Scarlet guiltily put a hand to her basket-weave bouffant while the grin dissolved from IDV's face.

 "Yes, but really?" The disbelief in Maddie's tone was palpable.

 "Yes, really" said Hound.  "I'm a hedgewitch.  For me the hedge is both the witch's setting and a gateway to other places.  Mitzi's hedge was still charged up from when I transported us to the Cornish coast for the Poldark thing, so blundering through it while thinking of Trek brought us here."

 "My hedge did this?" Mitzi didn't look happy.  "Right.  It's coming down once we get back."

 "Oh, I'm no good with this Star Trek stuff" Dinah cut in.  "Let's just go back through so we can all go home.  I'm tired - I'm several time zones from where I normally am and it's all catching up with me."

 "Several time zones?"  IDV whispered, nudging Ms Scarlet for attention as he gestured at their surroundings.  "And the other 250 years!"

 "Oh, Mr Devine!"

 "Oof!" said Dinah as she found herself face down on the other side of the hedge.  

 "Well, that didn't work."  Mago helped Dinah up after her unsuccessful return trip.

 "All the magic was used up getting you all here" Hound said.  "We're not going anywhere for a while."

 "Will you lot stop trampling my plants!" a loud voice cut through the Blogorati's sniping.  "And get off my lawn!"

 As one, the Blogorati turned towards the source of their berator.  There in the corner, shovelling a big pile of something ghastly-looking, was someone familiar wearing a red miniskirt uniform like Ms Scarlet's.

 "Ms Nations?"

 "Stop your gawping, IDV" she said.  "This tribble shit isn't going to spread itself."

 Oh.  Er, no.  I suppose it won't.  Um.  Actually, our shift's about to start - we'd better go"  IDV shooed the milling Blogorati towards the turbolift.  "C'mon, let's get out of here."

 "Suit yourselves" Ms Nations muttered to their backs as they walked off.  "I'll just get my garden hoes to do it.  Boys!" she yelled.  As the turbolift doors closed on the Blogorati, two muscular non-coms dressed in not very much appeared.  Several pairs of widening eyes were treated not to bulging, hot, sweaty manual labour¹, but to the doors snapping shut. 

oOo

CCQ: A Hair Raising Affair

Why are we doing intertitle cards again?

I think The Host is quite pleased with how they came out and wants to make the most of them.

Very well.  Carry on.

 

 "Ah.  Mr Device."

 "Glurk!"  IDV stopped in his tracks as a figure appeared in front of him.  "Um.  I mean: Very Mistress.  How lovely to see you and whatnot.  Wherever did you spring from?"

 The Very Mistress smiled smugly (smugly smiled?  smigged smuley?) at IDV's obvious discomfort.  "I was in the bakery" she said, waving her claw in the general vicinity, "availing myself of a Danish puff when I heard all this commotion, so I came out to see what was going on.  Imagine my surprise to see that you've usurped another role from me."

 "Well.  Um.  You see...  That is...  Um..."

 "Yes?"

 "Well, I wasn't sure if your hectic schedule of publishing your old drafts would allow for a part, you see?"

 "You could have asked?"

 "Ha ha.  Yes.  Good point.  Ahem."

 "So" The Very Mistress asked, looking over IDV's purple suit, green cloak and hat, her gaze finally coming to a halt on his right hand.  "Who are you meant to be, then?"

 IDV fidgeted a little and hid his crone-finger in the folds of his cloak.  "The Haggard Claw" he said glumly.

 "Ha!" The Very Mistress barked.  "Yes, I see."

 "My finger doesn't normally look like this!  It came with the role" IDV protested, then muttered under his breath "as well you know, considering that it's your role and finger."

 "What?!"

 "Nothing.  Anyway, I really must be going" IDV said as he eyed Houndwort wriggling into the boot of Ms Scarlet's Compact Figaro across the street as she drove off.  "Ms Scarlet - I mean, the Carmine Quill - is getting away and, unbeknownst to her, Houndwort is getting away with her!"

 

oOo

Isn't It Drafty In Here?!

 It was while dragging a draft post about books into 2021 and getting it fit to be published, that I noticed that there were 1300 posts on this blog.  But, upon closer inspection, 16 of them were drafts, so it'll be at least a couple of months before I hit that nice, round 1300 published posts.

 I pondered deleting the drafts as some of them are bloody ancient, but I thought I might actually finish them off one day and publish them.  Then I got to wondering if anyone else has a load of half-finished (or less) posts languishing in their "drafts" folder.  So, do you?  If I show you mine, will you show me yours?  I hope so, because here are mine:

 Out of these first five, I'd just about managed to get "Books" in some sort of order, but I've ruined it with some questionable font/size choices, so that's going to take some unravelling.  Then, I'm preparing for this years "Coven Awards" as I had an idea for a revamp which means taking note of things as they happen, rather than trying to remember stuff in a panic half-way through December.  There's also some preparation for a trip over the Cusp for "Ms Scarlet's Birthday" in March - but the rest of that post depends on whether we get this pandemic under control and the Cusp opens its borders.  Obviously, "Isn't It Drafty In Here" is this post, which just leaves "It's a Faake! prose" - which I will probably delete it as it's only a half-arsed Star Trek story that, despite the Jan 3 date, has actually been hanging around since at least Feb 2019 (which is the penultimate time that I edited it).  The only reason it's still hangning around is that I've been using it to upload images to my Blogger gallery, and Jan 3rd was the last time I did that...

Prophecies of Green and Gold

 I have just discovered that it has been a month since we last plopped something up on the blog.  A month!  The Ms Scarlet Approach has got out of control somewhat...
 We have got so many things that we have "almost done" and "nearly finished" and "not quite got around to yet", but nothing in a state worthy of a post.  Well, not on their own-

Oh, get on with it!

Yes. Get on with it!

 Oh, all right!  Here are some of the many things that have kept us otherwise occupied in the last month that will likely be expanded upon into posts of their own at some point:

 Between Christmas and New Year (and even afterwards) we fannied around with some new designs for a blog header.

 This is the best of what we came up with, but I'm not overly enthused with it, so it will probably change later in the year.
 Hey!  I quite like it.  The font, anyway.

::

Are You My Knight in Shining Armour or a Twat in Tinfoil?

What do you say?  Shall we?

The I.T. Wizard of Oz

Continued from... Visiting the Viridian Village

 "Look!" said Maddie as she hovered just below the clouds above the Viridian Village.  "There's the old Scarecrone outside the palace."
 "Where?" Jon burst out of the cloud, wings outstretched as he scoured the ground below.
 "There.  Heading towards the gates with the others."
 "Oh, yes, I see.  Come on" Jon beckoned Maddie and a couple of her nubile, young flying monkey houseboys, "let's go get her!"

~o~

 "I'm not sure how I feel about this?" Mago pondered.
 "About what, Mr Mags?"
 "About stealing IDV's broom for the wizard.  I just don't think it's right."
 "But that was the deal" Ms Scarlet said.  "The broom in exchange for wi-fi & satnav for me, courage for Beast, and the surgery required to get that tin foil hat off your head!  I don't think Mr Devine will give it up voluntarily, so we'll just have to take it."
 "Oh, nein.  It's not the stealing that concerns me.  I mean: I'm worried that that old broom will never get the Wizard all the way to south-east Texas!"

I think we probably should have featured Broom earlier, hmm?

Oh!  We could have used it to fly off on when The Very Mistress first turned up in Loompaland!

Bugger!  A missed opportunity.
Hang on a minute.  The wizard doesn't escape Oz on a broom, he uses a hot air bal-

 "Quiet, you two!"
 "Who are you berating, Very Mistress?  No one said anything?"
 "Oh, just IVD's and the Host's meddlesome, irritating SubConsciousnesses.  I've been able to hear them since their birthday last year.  I don't know how he puts up with them?"
 Thank you!
 "Wha-?  Who said that??"

Oh, shit.

Shhhh!  You're not the narrator.

Well, who is?  The writing's all in white, so it appears to be Witchface,
but it's all over the shop, so who can tell?

Anyway!  Back to the gates...

 In a flurry of feathers fit for the most fabulous of drag queens, Maddie, Jon, and a couple of minor flying monkeys carrying some sort of wooden contraption, swooped down upon the Blogorati.
 "Aaaaaiiieeeee!!!  They're in my hair!  They're in my hair!!" Beast shrieked like a little girl and ran around waving his hands above his head ineffectually.

 "Shut up, Baldilocks" The Very Mistress said scornfully, rolling her eyes "they're not here for you."  The flying monkeys set down and beckoned her to the sedan chair.
 "Ms Mistress!" Ms Scarlet piped up.  "Where are you going?"
 "The same place as you - to IVD's castle."
 "But...?" Ms Scarlet waved her arm towards the sedan chair and the waiting monkeys.
 "The thought of being stuck in a car for another journey with Beast and his flatulent arse was too much, so while you were seeing the wizard, I called for a lift" The Very Mistress explained as she got in the chair and the flying monkeys prepared for take off.  "Fortunately, there's only enough room for one.  Byeeeee!"

~o~

Visiting the Viridian Village

Continued from... Feather Brained

 "I can't believe what happened to me!!!" Ms Scarlet shrieked after her treatment at the gate.  "How.  Why?  Why would you do that to me???  I am going to have to go and shower now, and I will probably have nightmares tonight."
 "Woof!" said Sid.
 "What?" said a rather confused looking Hound.
 "I need a good dry cleaner's and a therapist after being subject to your disgusting... thing!"
 "What are you talking about, bab?  It's not disgusting.  It might be breaking the laws of nature, but it's not disgusting.  It's perfectly unnatural."  Fearing an international incident at the amount of huffing and foot-stamping going on, Hound opened the gates to the Viridian Village to let the strange party in.
 "Oh, I don't want to see" Ms Scarlet pouted.  Beast poked his head around the gate, his smirk at Ms Scarlet's earlier treatment disappeared.
 "Oh" he said.  "Well, that's unexpected."
 Mago was next to go through. "Ja" he agreed, and beckoned Ms Scarlet and The Very Mistress through.

 There, behind the gate in Hound's little alcove, was an array of complicated looking contraptions, including what looked like pieces of a Whimshurst machine or Van de Graaf generator, and a tin foil Tik-Tok man.
 "What's this?" Ms Scarlet asked as Sid raised his hackles and growled.  "What is all this stuff?"
 "If you must know" Hound began, trying to ignore the vibrating, growling Sid, "I have constructed a full-body, tin foil, tik-tok armour, but it needs electricity to power some of the components.  Electricity which can be harvested from the static shocks created by fondling those enchanted, emerald, polyester elf shorts you're wearing!"
 Ms Scarlet managed to look both confused and relieved.  "Well" she said, eventually.  "I suppose that's all right, then.  Carry on."
 "Now you've all had a good gawp at my little fetish, I shall repeat my original question: What do you want!?"

Feather Brained

Continued from... The Pink Carriage of No Horse Drawn

 Goading each other on, and sniggering over smutty innuendos, two flying monkeys swooped down towards a fast-moving, pink car...

~o~

A little while later back at Castle DeVice...

 "What in the Christing Hells is this?!"
 Before me, my highest ranking flying monkeys, Head Gardener Nikko Jon, and Head Fancier Chistery Maddie, presented a radio-controlled, miniature FAB 1, complete with little puppet passengers inside.
 "You don't want it?"
 "Is this not what you asked for?"
 One of them sniggered amongst a ruffling of feathers.
 "Look at it!" I screeched.  "They're bloody puppets!"
 "Marionettes, actually" Jon said.
 "Aaaaaaaarrrrrgh!"

 "This is what you showed us in the crystal ball, Tootes" said Maddie.
 "Yes.  It's not our fault you hadn't put your reading glasses on."
 "You showed us a small, radio-controlled car.  How were we supposed to know you wanted the real thing?"
 Someone sniggered again, this time without bothering to mask it with a wing shake.
 "Christ!  Would you give me just a small break?  Why in all Hells would I want you to fetch me a toy car?" I hissed while pinching the bridge of my nose, which - to be fair - was bereft of reading glasses.  "You wouldn't be like this to The Very Mistress, would you?"
 The two flying monkeys gave each other smirking 'looks'.
 "I might" said Jon
 "Yeah, me too" Maddie agreed.

 "Really?" I countered, a plan forming.  I affected my best stern Very Mistress pose and pulled out my crystal ball complete with a fully formed image of The Very Mistress herself.  Without make-up!
 "Aaiieeee!!!"
 "Eeeeeeeeeeek!!!"
 They both screamed like Ned Flanders and flew away in a flurry of feathers.
 "How does she do it?"  I muttered, willing my blood pressure to drop. "How does the Very Mistress put up with such nincompoopery?  I need a gin.
 "Or twelve."

~o~

The Pink Carriage of No Horse Drawn

Continued from The Emerald Elf Shorts...

 "Oof!  Sorry I'm late", I muttered after I'd reincorporated myself from a cloud of black smoke.  "I had to change the story as it was flailing around in a most unnerving manner.  Right.  We can start now.  I think I've gathered myselves together properly."
 "It's already started!" Dinahmow hissed.
 "Yes.  We couldn't wait for you" Ms Scarlet added as she smoothed down the Freakin' Green Elf Shorts that were clinging rather suggestively to her derrière.  "And your story change wave-front ruined my hair!"
 "It's started?"  I was rather taken aback.  "Without me?"
 "Yes!"
 "Oh.  Well.  Um..." I looked around trying to orientate myselves, but without much luck.  "So.  Um.  What's going on?  C3-Peenee and Norma-D2 over there in the Great Glass Elevator have thrown me, somewhat."
 "Ohhh...  The Great Glass Elevator!  That's what it is!"  The penny dropped for Ms Scarlet.  "Yes, I'm not sure what to make of them being here either, but it might explain why there's a crowd of Oompa Loompas instead of Munchkins.  Aside from them, this all smacks of The Wizard of Oz.  Especially now you've arrived dressed like that."
 I looked down at my long black dress (with puffy shoulders!) and cloak, and raised a hand to my head where Hat was perched.
 "Oh, dear.  This isn't right.  The Very Mistress should be me, I mean, the Wicked Witch of the West.  She's always the evil one."  I started to panic.  "You haven't seen her have you?  Is she here?"
 "No, not yet.  I... Oh!"  Ms Scarlet stopped as Dinah nudged her.
 "Look who it is" Dinah whispered and pointed with her wand to a trio of approaching 'people'.
 Ms Scarlet squinted at them.  "A tin foil hatted man?  Ah, Mr Mags.  A cowardly codswallop?  Good grief!  It's Mr Beastie!  And a scarecrone?"  She gasped in shock.
 "Yikes!  The Very Mistress!"  I blurted, evaporating into smoke.  "I'm out of here!"

 Just as the last vestiges of black smoke dissipated, a very pink Mazda 626 minicab pulled up at the green, with a blue satin clad something-or-other nodding its head vigorously on the parcel shelf.
 "Ooh, good!" Ms Scarlet exclaimed.  "We can get to the Viridian Village in that."
 "Not without usss, you won't!"

The Emerald Elf Shorts

Continued from It's just a jump to the left...

* C L U M P *

 "Oof!"  I said.  Which was qute restrained really considering that a sizeable house had landed on me.
 After some wriggling and a lot of splinters, I managed to free my right arm from broken joists, floorboards and the like, and reach up under Hat's brim and into its hammerspace.  On only the seventeenth attempt, I felt the sturdy handle of a drill in my grip and - wasting no time - switched it on while driving it upwards.

 After what felt like hours - but was probably only six years - hot, sticky, covered in sawdust and grit, I burst through the bottom of a bathtub.
 Reality dawned...
 "Oh, no" I said to no one in particular as I clocked what I was wearing and realised what what was transpiring.  "No.  I'm sorry.  No.  This cannot happen.  I don't want this."
STAND BY FOR INSERTION INTO STORYLINE the disembodied voice of the enchanted mirror intoned.

What?  What mirror?

 "What?"

What mirror?  Where did it come from?

 "I don't kn-"
STAND BY...
 "What?  No.  I'm sorry, no.  I'm not having it.  We can do better than this."  
STAND BY...
 I couldn't believe the bloody mirror, or whatever it was, wasn't listening to me.  Me!  A witch!  There was only one thing for it.  I had to bamboozle it.  A spell came to mind, so I vomited it out of my mouth before it bamboozled me, too.
 "The fact is" I said, quoting Nana Rampton's Discombobulator "this is about identifying what we do most of best, and finding fewer ways of doing more of it less."
...?  The mirror managed to convey an uncomfortable silence before clicking and whirring rather disconcertingly.  REINITIALISING it finally declared.
 "At last" I muttered.
 "G'day, DeVice!  We're good to go" the mirror said in a non-bogan Aussie accent.
 "What?"
 "Don't say what, say pardon" the mirror said, this time attempting a middle class English accent that would take offence at being told one's gravy needed sieving, but failing to completely mask the Aussieness.  I narrowed my eyes as comprehension dawned.
 "T-Bird?  Is that you?"
 "None other" the one-time teeterer atop the Hag Pillar confirmed amidst more whirring, clicking background noise.  She'd dropped the posh Home Counties accent, thankfully.  "OK, mate.  We're pretty much good to go.  Again."

What?!  We're accepting cameos from the Days of Coven Past now?

Just go with it, or this will take even longer.  The end is already beyond our second and third sight, and the crystal ball's given up trying to extrapolate where and when this "adventure" will end up.

Yes, but, Miss Smuggersham?  T-Bird?!  We haven't seen her in years!

I don't see why not?  She was a major player back in the day.  Besides, Beast turns up here later.

WHAT?!?

REINITIALISATION COMPLETE.  STORY CHANGE IN THREE...

 "Right" said T-Bird, leaving the mirror to get on with the technical stuff.  "Now to see how Tim's getting on in those Big Bang Pants!"
TWO...
 "Sexily, I'll bet!" I said not even bothering to hide the lasciviousness.
ONE...
 "Rawr!"

Hang on.  This isn't going to involve more time travel is it?  You know I'm not thrilled abou-

* C L U M P *

"Ow!"

And so it begins

Again...

Crazylegs Cranes (and other unusual suspects at Pensthorpe)

 Last weekend, Inexcuseable and her husband dragged Count Podgekinson and I off to Pensthorpe Natural Park near Fakenham.  We saw some birds and crap...

Moorhen

Hawaiian geese (and Inexcuseable)

The Year of the Lunatic Coven Awards

"The Year of the Lunatic"...?  What on earth are you going on about?!

Well, I thought that would have been obvious?!

Clearly not.

Not even with that ruddy great moon up there?  And all the other moon shots scattered around?

I think someone has been doing too many sherry shots, never mind moon shots...

 Shush!  We've started!

Cripes!  Witchface is on the ball this year.

  Let's get on with it, shall we?
 Yes.  Every year devolves into some sort of squabbling before things get going.

"Every year"?  Ha!  What about all those years we couldn't be arsed?

 QUIET!!!

...

  That's better.  Shall we?
 Yes.  Let's.
  Hello, and thank you for joining us for the 2017 - AKA The Year of the Lunatic - Coven Awards.
 The fact is, we've got a packed show for you this evening.
  Or, morning or afternoon, depending on your time zone.
 Yes.  No.  Exactly.  Yes.  Um...  What was I saying?
  Packed show.
 Yes.
  So, let's begin with a quick recap of the first quarter of the year before moving on to the first of the awards.
 Yes.  No.  Exactly.
  As usual, I'll present the awards, and Witchface will recap the year.  Are you ready?
 Yes.  Exactly.  Yes.

Christ!  Who let Anna Rampton in?  

"I am not enjoying myself very much"*

Or: Weekend Walkies on Wednesday!

  The following photos were taken on Saturday afternoon as I walked in to Cromer along the beach.  I needed some fresh air and exercise after eating almost my own body weight of "beige food" at work on Friday (we had a buffet for someone's leaving do, which was placed on the empty desk next to me!), and spending most of Saturday morning dealing with sisters and their various offspring.
  I decided to go to Cromer to see if I could find a suitable prize for Savvy's Tin Foil Hat win (I did say I'd send the prize "whenever I can be bothered", remember?).
  Anyway.  Photos: 

The offshore supply ships Vos Grace and Vos Gorgeous.

I've never seen them together like this before.

I'm sure that cloud is nothing to worry about, girls...

Overstrand beach with Cromer Pier in the distance

Triumphant Tin Foil Hat 2017

The winning hat waiting to be unveiled
[via]

 It's time!

 Time for the unveiling of the "Tin Four, Rubber Duck" 2017 Triumphant Tin Foil Hat!

 All the votes are in - both the public gallery votes and the private email votes - and I'm pleased to announce that I didn't have to use my own vote as a Head Judge's Decider as there is a clear winner (just).

 But, before we get to the winner, we'd better take a look at the runners up. Yes, runners up plural. With three Tin Foil Hats gaining the same amount of votes each - just two less than the winner - this year's compo sees three runners up!
 And they are:

Charmaine's Ms Scarlet's Tin Foil Hat Competition with rubber duck by Andy Warhol

Mago's Darling - I set my head on fire for You !

and Dinahmow's Fantabulous Titfer

 And so, I am pleased to present the 2017 Triumphant Tin Foil Hat:

The 2017 Tin Foil Hat Gallery!

Haven't we been here before?

 Hello and welcome to the 2017 Tin Foil Hat Gallery, the fourth such exhibit seen over the years in this little corner of Blogland. This being the fourth collection of international chapeaux de tin foil, it seemed fitting that the theme also be "four". How you, the designers, interpreted the theme was entirely at your own discretion, and I'm very pleased with the diversity and alternative takes that made it into the collection.
 An added extra to the theme, that of the rubber duck, came about via one of the SubConsciouses. I can't remember which one...

Hey! It was me!

 Oh, yes. The Host's SubC. I might have known you'd be responsible for such an act of triviality!

Actually, it wasn't trivial. The rubber duck, in thought and form,
has been a part of this competition since the very first one back in 2010
(scroll down to the text below LẌ's [then known as xl] masterpiece for the reference).

 I'd hardly call that a rubber duck of any substance!

And then, in the second collection in 2014, Tin Hat and Tales: Flights of Fancy,
Mago wowed us all with his creation: The Duck!

 Fine! So the rubber duck theme didn't come out of nowhere, then. Hmmph...

(Thank gods Witchface gave up then, as I couldn't find a reference to rubber ducks
in 2015's 10th Anniversary Tin Foil Top Hats and Tiaras collection...)

 What was that?!

[silence]

 Hmmmm... Right, then. We'd better open the doors to the gallery and let you all peruse the 2017 Tin Foil Hat Collection: Tin-Four, Rubber Duck!

Holes with stones around them...

... and other seaside somethings.

  From my various perambulations along the beach here, I bring you a selection of seaside flotsam and jetsam that I deigned fascinating enough to bring home.
  The thing is, all these pocket-fulls of stones and fossils and glass and shells are building up so that the interior of Chateau DeVice is slowly transforming into a beach... 

Foiled Again?!

[image via]

 No pressure, but we've received the first entry for this year's Tin Foil Hat Competition!  

 No, it's not "Sea Urchin" as constructed and modelled by Sir David Attenborough on the right here:
 (We had to disqualify his submission as he had "help" from NASA)

 You now have five days to submit your tin foil hats for entry into this illustrious competition (six, if you include the rest of today and a little leeway for the early hours of Friday morning to allow for time-travel nincompoopery).

Closing date for entries is midnight on Thursday 24th August. 

Fourwarned is Fourarmed (or fourhatted...)

Yves Saint Laurent adds the four-
millionth (and final) layer of
tin foil to the fourth hummingbird
gallstone decoration that will adorn
my own Tin Foil Hat masterpiece
(I may have to widen the brim somewhat...)
[image via]

 You lucky, lucky people can breathe a sigh of relief: I've extended the Tin Foil Hat submission deadline by four working days (or thereabouts) to midnight on Thursday 24th August!  Mainly because I haven't had time to construct my own shiny chapeau yet, due to unexpected/unannounced/unnecessary visitations from Indescribable, the Little Witch and Grumplestiltskin; plus the eventual birth of Inexcuseable's first spawn on Monday morning: Spider-Monkey (because that's what he looks like at the moment). But also because some of you have resorted to time-travel to try and eke out a few more days of construction time...

 This means that the Gallery of Hats will open on Saturday 26th August for a week of viewing and voting, with the winner being announced on Saturday 2nd September. 

 In case you're new here, or you've had a sudden attack of amnesia, the theme for this year's Tin Foil Hat Competition is "Four" (with or without a rubber duck). How you interpret this theme is up to you: You may wish to make four hats (sounds like too much hard work to me); take four different photos of one hat (that's a bit better); fashion your hat into the number four; adorn it with four items of decoration (or four rubber ducks); or go for something more subtle (or downright obscure), such as the four stages of metamorphism of the superorder Endopterygota (good gods!).

 Remember: to enter, you must fashion a tin foil hat (with or without rubber duck/s), take a photo of yourself wearing said chapeau (or, if you are camera-shy, put it on a melon or other head-sized object) and send me the photo (email address is in our profile) along with a short technical description of the hat's functions (and what, if any, purpose the rubber ducks serve - if you included any), and/or a tale of fancy to go with it.
 The winner will be whomsoever garners the most votes from you, the voting proletariat masses select, and displayed on this here blog. There will also be a (yet to be determined, but you can guarantee it'll be cheap) prize, or prizes.

 Right. We'd all better get on with our hats then, hadn't we?! 

 

Dandy Horse Distraction

  Mago showed us his - and after a modicum of light pestering - I'll show you mine:

Unveiling the Velocipede

  For those occasions when taking Broom out is not an option (i.e. in daylight, mostly), I can't be bothered to walk, and I can't justify a relatively short trip in Car (i.e. to Indescribable's temporary woodland abode), Bike is summoned to transport me, if not in style, then at least in relative efficacy.

Bike hadn't even gone half a mile before stopping for a rest! Lazy...

Not bad for a 30odd year old bike, though.

  There. That's that out of the way so you can get on with crafting your "four" themed Tin Foil Hats (with or without rubber duck/s). There's only one week left until the submission deadline (19th August), remember! 

Clifftop Calamities II (New! Butterfly flavour!)

 Again. As with the last post, not really any calamities... And remember to click to embiggen!

(To release the butterfly flavour, just tear open the tin foil pack and allow to stand for a minute or two. Then, to prevent waste, use the foil to craft a hat or four!) 

Remind you of anything...?

There's loads of these, so take a deep breath and ensure your scrolling finger has had plenty of rest.