Art vs Artist

 By popular demand-

 What? Since when was two people showing a polite, vague interest "popular demand"?

 Since now.  Go and interfere somewhere else.  This is my post!

 I think you'll find it is our post.  After all, whose name is on all those header images further down, hmm?

 Oh, hush.  Why don't you go and see to that ever widening Cusp interface before someone - or someones - falls in!

 Fine.  I'll leave you to your little doodles, then!

 

 Right.  Now that Witchface has gone, here is the Art vs Artist thingy I mentioned in the last post. It's something I saw on BlueSky so I thought I'd have a go, too.

 The majority that I saw are 3x3 square grids with a photo of the artist in the centre square surrounded by eight pieces of their work, so I followed the same pattern (it's all Star Trek stuff as I rarely produce any other kind):

 

Top left to right:

Breaking the Circle

 Enough moping around and using "all" (see previous post for barely any explanation whatsoever) as an excuse for not blogging.  I am determined to, if not make a grand return, then at least dip our toes back in and go from there.  I must admit, we have almost returned several times, but something always cropped up that was an easy target to use as an excuse for not returning.  And if we leave it much longer, everything that we've missed will become too overwhelming, and we'll never come back.

 

 Anyway, yesterday evening while having tea (the late afternoon meal, not the hot drink) I took to my bookmarks and selected a blog I hadn't looked at in ages: Love in the Time of Chasmosaurs, "a blog about the science, art, and pop culture of Mesozoic life" that I find to be witty and educational, plus it contains dinosaurs!  After reading a couple of the recent posts, I slowly scrolled down to see if something would catch my eye, and something did.  I recognised a photo of a family of Triceratops ambling past Dippy's Pizza & Fries and clicked the 'continue reading' thingy.  

Nieces about to be gobbled up like Children McNuggets

 My suspicion was confirmed: The photo was taken at ROARR! the dinosaur park right here in Norfolk that I ended up at for my nephew's birthday back in August 2019, so I read - and very much enjoyed - the article.  So much so, in fact, that I was moved to leave a comment.  And it was then that I remembered I had featured some photos of the park right here on this very blog that I could link to!  So, I found the requisite post - and very quickly became subsumed in our back catalogue of adventures Over the Cusp...

Nine For A Kiss - AKA: Arse & Artichokes

 I had quite a few titles in mind for this post, and couldn't decide between the magpie rhyme reference and the title of Gordy Ramsbottom's Delilah-baiting cook book (thank you, Ms Scarlet) so I went with both.  The runner up was "Smile You Twat" from, well, scroll down and you'll see.

This Mischief of Magpies delights in clattering over the roof of Hexenhäusli Device and its neighbours, making an incessant racket as these photos from 29th August illustrate!

 

A litle later that morning I went up to the allotment to see what needed picking:

The Calamities of the Carmine Quill

 A silent Ms Scarlet  held up the intertitle card with a self-satisfied grin.  Having flirted with the idea of becoming entirely text based and giving up speech forever, she had gone out on a few dates with it, made a deep connection, and then eloped, with the marriage ceremony held at the Grade II listed telephone box in Mogwash.

 After an interminable amount of time - at least eight or nine seconds - Ms Scarlet's grin had regressed to a scowl.  Why wasn't anyone taking any notice of her very clever, and painstakingly crafted card?!  Fortunately, she had prepared for this eventuality - as unlikely as she thought it would be - and held up another card: 

"Until you stalk and overrun, you can't devour anyone"*

 Thanks to Mago's unintentional prodding, I've come up with a list of books I've read over the last year or two. Well, most of them, anyway.  And I've just discovered that the last time I did a proper Books post was in September 2018!  Although I can't remember everything I've read since then (I'm sure it's not a lot), I did find one book in my Kindle that I must have read just after that last book post:

∘ Record of a Spaceborn Few, by Becky Chambers

Anyway, on to 2019 (the month and year in brackets after the title and author is aproximately when I read each book):

∘ Available Light (Star Trek: The Next Generation), by Dayton Ward (April 2019) - Oh, dear...  What a disappointment.  I'm over all the political fallout rubbish that features in half of this novel, and the "adventurous" other half was just dull.  Worf was great, though!

∘ Prime Directive (Star Trek: The Original Series), by Judith & Garfield Reeves-Stevens (April 2019) - This old novel (my fourth or fifth re-read) is still wonderful, though.

∘ Exploring Calvin and Hobbes: An Exhibition Catalogue, by Bill Watterson (May 2019) - the last (but hopefully not least) Calvin and Hobbes book I bought.  But not the last one I read...

∘ The Captain's Oath (Star Trek: The Original Series), by Christopher L Bennett (June 2019) - Christopher L Bennett is one of my favourite Trek authors, and this Original Series novel is one of my favourite of that era.

The Year of Ferrero Rochering Dangerously

 Good afternoon, and welcome to the 2020 Coven Awards!  We hope you've all been to the loo and got yourself a drink and some snacks, as this does go on a bit.

 I'll say.  I've worn my fingers down to mere nubbins with all the keyboard clacking I've had to do to prepare all this!

 Oh, stop complaining.  You love it really.

 Well, it does keep me from getting bored, I suppose.

Let's hope the same can be said for the poor Blogorati that have to wade through this

miasma of muddled memories and self indulgent claptrap!

 I say!

 Shall we get on with it before this devolves into unrecoverable unpleasantness, hmm?

 Hmmph! As long as you can keep your SubC under control.

 Fine.  Carry on.

 Right.  Here we go: Well, this hasn't been the best year, has it?  However, we're not going to dwell upon the bad as amongst all the toothache, shingles, and Mondays, there were fuchsias, Freakin' Green Elf Shorts (sort of), and Ferrero Rocher!

 

Despite appearances (you know, if you squint a lot and have had a gin or twelve...)

this is not Ms Scarlet, Intergalactic Global Ambassador for Ferrero Rocher.

This is, in fact, a decoy.  Ms Scarlet is cunningly disguised as the youthful,

rather vertically challenged Ambassador's handmaiden, second from right.

(One of the other two at the back might be Charmaine...)

Secrets and Rocher: A Delilah Smythe Debacle

 Desperate for some good publicity after the "Marmalised Marmalades" BBC swearing scandal in 1988, diabolical deviant, Delilah Smythe, approached equally desperate (and weak-willed) Royal, Prince Edward, with a "fool-proof" idea: an It's A Royal Knockout rip-off substituting the mid-ranking royals with celebrity chefs.  She'd even roped in Jane Asher, the Swedish Chef and Martha Stewart as team leaders.

A Royal Rocher wrapper??

 However, at a royal charity dinner, the Queen, in no uncertain terms, put the kybosh on Edward's involvement, and without Edward, Delilah's idea was doomed.  As fate would have it, while on her way to pilfer some cutlery during the dinner, Delilah just happened to overhear something she shouldn't when she stooped to pick up a discarded Rocher wrapper near to a hushed conversation between Michele Ferrero, philanthropist and owner of Ferrero SpA, and Dame Christopher Biggins, Official Pantomime Dame of Great Britain and the Commonwealth realms.

A Write Panic Reference: Things on Chairs

 This post is an accompaniment to the A Write Panic blog post, Things on Chairs (which was gathered together and written by me).  It's just a little reference list of the items that feature at the end of my part of the story.
 If you haven't already done so, I urge you to go and give A Write Panic a read.  It is a collaborative blog from the mind of Ms Scarlet (she also set it up and organised it, too!) which features ten talented and enthusiastic bloggers - oh, and me.
 There are no spoilers in this post, so the story won't be ruined if you read this first.  Particularly as these objects are what I imagined were the "things on chairs" at the end of my latest A Write Panic post, but as I didn't describe them with any definition (well, except for the fondant fancy and the Ferrero Rocher), someone else may depict them in a different way.

The spindle shaped vial containing that blue potion, is none other than the Elixir of Life as featured in the film Death Becomes Her.

[image missing]  Unfortunately, I can't show you the pink fondant fancy as it got et.
(I can tell you, however, that it wasn't a Mr Kipling cake, otherwise it would have been a French Fancy)

The towel - a spare on loan from the Beeblebrox Estate - a very useful object (and 100% Egyptian cotton, no less).

The "old clay pot with mould growing inside it" is Daughter of the Fifth House, Lwaxana Troi's, Sacred Chalice of Rixx.  I'm sure the Holy Rings of Betazed were on another chair further down the corridor...

The collection of sea glass is, of course, the glass island that featured at Ms Scarlet's.

The Bottle of Greed is another one of Ms Scarlet's creations, featured here.

The universe cannot be photographed convincingly, so may I direct you to Ms Scarlet's Portrait of a Universe, instead.  A far more comprehensible and erudite interpretation.

I couldn't get a good photo of the Ferrero Rocher because it was so awesomely perfect that Camera could only manage to capture the golden glare from it's exquisite foil wrapper.

And as for the books:

The Days Are Just Packed, a Calvin and Hobbes collection by Bill Watterson, featured here.

Fucked-up Fondues, by that spiteful cow Delilah Smythe, featured here.

neue mobel 6, by Gerd Hatje, featured at Mago's, here.

The Visitors, by Sally Beauman, featured at Ms Scarlet's, here.

::

Read the continuing story of A Write Panic here.

Dangerous Crustations

 A suspicious looking package arrived for me yesterday.  It wasn't delivered by my hot, surly postman either.  Rather, it must have been delivered to my doorstep at some point during the night, as it was loitering (possibly with intent) near my globe topiaried potted box (Buxus) when I opened the door first thing in the morning.
 Rectangular, and wrapped (somewhat sloppily, it has to be said) in brown paper, the package was unadorned with postage stamps, a name or address.  Instead, in thin black ink scratched across the lower right corner was inscribed: "To, The Witch".  There were no other markings except for a couple of greasy finger and thumb prints, one of which had a rime of some yellowing creamy substance (I'm hoping it was only cream) edged with a dark red - almost black - sticky material (some sort of jam, maybe?).
 Anyway, I reluctantly brought it inside and put it with three unopened envelopes, assuming it too was intended to be opened on Sunday.

 This morning dawned, like many, many others before it and, after a cup of coffee and a jelly baby or twelve, I opened the package.  These are the items that were inside:

Freakin' Green Elf Shorts: Where Are They Now?

 I spent the weekend in a bit of a panic about this month's Blog Map Challenge.  Most of Saturday found me slaving over a hot Apocalypse Oven to create a meal so blue as to appeal to a Klingon Chancellor, only to have that cow Delilah Smythe appropriate it for a recipe book she's not going to write for 274 years!
 So, when Sunday dawned, I was already fretting about having used up half the weekend, and no further on with my proposed map, which still exists only in the form of brief notes in my Blog Notebook, and a vague idea in my head.
 However, I had a sudden, last-minute inspired solution as to how I was going to get a map finished by the end of July, and a recent comment on an old Freakin' Green Elf Shorts post shows that this solution is warranted.  And here is that solution:

 Yes, it's an update to the Freakin' Green Elf Shorts Travel Map - Now with a double helping of Ms Scarlet!!!

 For those who need a reminder, please visit Rimpy Rimpington's Continuing History of the Freakin' Green Elf Shorts!

::

 I still plan on creating a new map for this month's Map Challenge, but it will be exceedingly late, because I think it will hinge upon my write-up of our impending adventures over the Cusp, which my crystal ball gives vague assurances will occur in a month or two.

 Probably...

It's A Faaaake! Not The Art Of Star Trek - Blue Food

 After my Klingon Drag Queen tied for first place in last month's Star Trek Art Challenge, I had some vague thoughts about a food-related theme which I shared with the other winner.
 "Food related sounds very intriguing" s/he said "there are lots of possibilities. Food has been important in all Trek series. Kingon Gagh, Romulan Ale, Tilly making snarky comments at the passive aggressive food slots... there's no shortage of scope."
 "All I can think of now", I replied, "is Tilly muttering 'Shut your food slot' in the manner of Scotty's 'Up your shaft!' to the Excelsior's turbolift in Star Trek III: The Search For Spock.
 "If we do go for the food theme, shall we leave it quite open, such as food from any Star Trek era or race to give it that wide scope you mentioned?"
 "I think keeping it broad would be a good idea, yes. From Aldebaran Whiskey to Zylo Eggs: Food in the Star Trek Universe!
  "I found this page which could be useful, if people want some idea prompts: https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Foods_and_beverages"

 So, with that in mind: It's dinner time!

This month's Art Challenge we're exploring the food (glorious food!) of the Star Trek Universe. There's a whole galaxy of possibilities on this one, from figuring out what might be on the drinks menu at Quark's, to recreating Will Riker's terrible omlettes!

As long as there is a Star Trek connection of some kind, I'm happy to see where people's creativity takes them.

 And that creativity took me here (as if you hadn't already suspected, what with the last post's Sperm Whale Plastique à la Bleu):

 Below is a screenshot from the infamous blue food scene in Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country which directly inspired my efforts (as well as Delilah Smythe's).

Plastic Baby Sperm Whales...

 As well as the blog map challenge, I've been thinking about what to do for this month's food related Star Trek Art Challenge, and a couple of ideas* have sprung to mind, but I've been too busy and hot to do anything about them.  As I don't have any plans this weekend, and the traditional Great British Summertime is due to reestablish itself with a vengeance (temperatures in the bearable low 20s, with lots of rain and storms), I'm hoping to ensconce myself in the kitchen and work on them.

 In the meantime, I've discovered that that diabolical cow Delilah Smythe (who had been uncharacteristically quiet of late), has emerged from her cryogenic freezer and reinvented herself as a 23rd century Andorian for an ill-advised comeback...

 Delilah - or, should I say, Delila - based this whole book on the infamous blue food from Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country (featured here [sixth paragraph], with sperm whales mentioned here [in the fourth paragraph down]), which she claims to have created in her seventh autobiography, TV Dinners.


* Cup-and-Saucer-section cakes, TOS Food Cubes (bleeurgh!), and the aforementioned blue food.

BARELY ANY BOOKS NOT ON CHAIRS SHOCKER!

 I've been thinking about reading recently.  This thinking was spurred on by the Host's recent post concerning half-remembered books that may or may not exist.  And what I'm thinking is: I should really be reading rather than thinking about reading.  Especially as I haven't actually read a book since November's The Very Mistress MJ Diari-

  Doesn't count!  It's mostly pictures.
 Well, what about back in October when I read Delilah Smythe's Pulverised Pumpkins?
  No.  Deciphering second-hand recipes from the "words" that vindictive cow has strung together using profanities is not reading!
 When did we read Anne McCaffrey's The Rowan, then?
  "We" didn't read it - I did!  You got irritated and restless with the Rowan's caterwauling when she got swept up in that mudslide only a few pages in, and disappeared to torment Beaky, as I recall.  And I read that this year.  Back in January.

 Ah!  Universe!
  No.  Mostly me again.  And that doesn't count either as we only looked at the Night Sky chapter for the constellations.
 Fine.  So I haven't read a book in an age.  But other than The Rowan, you haven't either!
  Well, no.  Ah...  It's just that...  Well, since November, Evil Edna has been full of great shows that need watching...

::

It's A Faaaake! Not The Art Of Star Trek - Celebrate good times, come on!

 You were almost certainly expecting a post that referenced Hallowe'en, what with this being Hallowe'en and all, so I'm sorry for any disappointment this non-Hallowe'en post may cause. 

 Originally, I was going to post that Delilah nonsense for Hallowe'en, as I thought the 31st was on Saturday.  When I realised I'd been looking at my portable standing stones from the wrong angle and, therefore, got my dates all skew-wiff, I had to have a rethink.  It also didn't help that the Delilah Smythe Inc. goons sent to "persuade" me to "endorse" that cow's books kept getting under my feet and putting me off, resulting in me pressing 'publish' just to get some peace and quiet!
 So, on very short notice, and with assistance from the Host, instead of Hallowe'en, may I present a different ancient pagan festival: Rumarie.  Described as: "full of barely clothed Vulcan men and women, covered in slippery Rillan grease, chasing one another", Rumarie has not been observed since the 14th century.
 I'm sure some of you can't wait to participate in its come-back...

  Thanks for the intro, Witchface. 
  As you might have guessed, Rumarie comes from the Star Trek universe, and it was my selection for this month's Star Trek Art Challenge.  The theme for October was set by the winner of the September challenge (not me - I didn't have time to create a submission), below: 

Peldor joi, friends!

This month it's time for some celebrations. The theme is Star Trek holidays! Be it the Bajoran Gratitude Festival, the Klingon Day of Honor, the Vulcan Tal-Shanar or Earth's own First Contact Day – there's some celebrating to be done! Here's a handy list of all the made-up holidays from the Star Trek universe. Either pick one of those fictional festive events or invent one yourself to use as the basis for your work. No really, you can do anything you like with it.

Looking forward to what you cook up!

  I thought of Rumarie almost immediately as I wanted to use a little-known holiday, and also because I could revisit the Vulcan aesthetic I used last year for Winter Solstice.

First, I looked up "people chasing each other", selected some likely images and cut-out their silhouettes

(adding pointed ears - they're supposed to be Vulcans, after all)

"Up yours, Mrs Beeton!"

[This post is brought to you in grudging association with Delilah Smythe Inc.]

 To celebrate my 1000th post in just over twelve years of blogging (although I did have a couple of years off, sort of), and the publication of Delilah Smythe's latest book, her autobiography, TV DINNERS (to be published in certain markets under the title Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Boiling), may I present my five favourite Delilah Smythe books:

You cow, Delilah!  I'll get you for this! 

 TV Dinners is Delilah Smythe's seventh published autobiography, and gathers together all the old dross that wasn't fit for her first six bios.  It also includes an in depth look at Delilah's contributions to the television and film industry, in particular, her seminal work in Fatal Attraction (proudly used for the cover image), and her iconic (but highly poisonous) blue food for Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country.

 (The post title "Up yours, Mrs Beeton!" comes from chapter twelve.  Specifically, Delilah's reaction to the news that her then current cook book, Catastrophic Cakefarts, had surpassed the sales of her arch rival's Mrs Beeton's Book of Household Management in the Christmas run-up of 11th-24th December 2016.) 

Not The 2016 Infomaniac Book Challenge III

 This edition of Not The 2016 Infomaniac Book Challenge comes to you a little late. Or a little early, if you're not bothered about having one every two months to match up to The Very Mistress MJ's original challenges?
 One of the reasons for this apparent scheduling fail is that I had an interminable wait before I could cross the Cusp Interface and come home. I left my friends' floating glass castle on Thursday—expecting to be back in time for The Very Mistress's Sixth Annual Infomaniac Garden Photos Event—but ended up stuck in a dizzying holding pattern in one of the Cusp departure lounges due to leaves on the line, or some other such nonsense! With little else, to do, I entertained myself with some of the least objectionable literature that had been left laying around the lounge...

ζ : Jeffrey Hunter was my Poolboy! by Ingmar Devine

 Jeffrey Hunter's sheer beauty and presence has managed to elevate this sad, cheap little rag (I mean, I know it was printed in the early 70s, but colour had been invented by then) to a must-read—

Must ogle, more like!

 Cwooaaarrghh, yeah!
*ahem* A must-read for any waiting room, holiday—

Or visit to the sperm bank!

 Right! That's quite enough from you lot!
 What was I saying? Oh, yes. Jeffrey Hunter.
 Once I'd got past all the pictures of The Most Handsome Man in Hollywood (which took some time, let me tell you), I was left with the text. And very poorly written it was, too. I found it quite difficult to follow the narrative and work out the timeline of events (and that's saying something for one who is now used to the annoyances of time-travel). But the characters, although barely fleshed out, did seem reasonably believable, and even a little familiar. In fact, the whole thing left me with a strange feeling of stretched out déjà vu.
 I think I'd better do some investigating into this Ingmar Devine. I wonder if we're related...?

Not The 2016 Infomaniac Book Challenge

 This is Not The 2016 Infomaniac Book Challenge in the same way as this is Not The Hats of Barbara Cartland.
 In the presentation post for the challenge (as linked to above), The Very Mistress MJ declares that: "Reading enriches us, stimulates our imaginations, reduces stress, improves our vocabulary, and increases our intelligence". However, I'm not quite sure that reading the following examples of literature from over the Cusp will achieve those goals...

α : Marmalised Marmalades, by Delilah Smythe

 TV chef, football hooligan, and bane of housewives everywhere; Delilah Smythe shares her favourite short-cut recipes for breakfast preserves in this classic edition of her best selling cook book. 
 With no shortage of exploding oranges and TNTed tangerines, Delilah's no-nonsense recipes can be completed in seconds, leaving you with the rest of the afternoon free to wallow in front of the TV clutching a bottle of cooking sherry while a legion of tradesmen rebuild your kitchen.

The be all, but not the end all

 is for...

 ...bazillions of things! But, the point of this meme from Eroswings is to choose five favourite things. So, without further ado, may I present my-
 Our!
 OK, our, lists. Five each.
 Me first!