Adventures in Allotmenteering: The Grand Map & Plan of Allotment Device*

 After some very light haranguing, may we present The Grand Map & Plan of Allotment Device!

 Above, at last, is the layout of Allotment Device.  It is too long to fit on one page... 

 I spent a good half an hour yesterday striding up and down, back and forth measuring my allotment in steps (because it was easier than fannying around with a tape measure), sketching and jotting as I went.  Which is why it is rather rough (instead of grand) and somewhat illegible (I added the black biro labelling today - I hope you can read it).

 

 Anyway, one enters the allotment from the south (lower left corner)...

 

... and is accosted by the staging area/dumping ground and Leaning Shed.

(It's easy to miss the three thornless blackberries and the greengage tree in the far right corner.)

[Photo from 21 03 2026]

Symphony For A Queen

 Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Haute & Freddy's debut album Big Disgrace has turned up (purchased with some birthday money), so to celebrate, here are some tunes I've been listening to recently, bookended by two from Haute & Freddy:

"Showgirl At Heart" - Haute & Freddy

"Beautiful (Richard X Rework)" - Goldfrapp

"Find Xanadu (Röyksopp Remix)" - Alison Goldfrapp

Also on the way are Alison Goldfrapp's albums, Love Invention and Flux

 

"I Don't Care" - Shakespears Sister

A bit of Shakespears Sister never goes amiss.

 

"What Could Possibly Go Wrong" - Melanie C

(as championed by Jon)

"In The Middle" - White Lies

White Lies latest album Night Light is on its way, too.

I like this track but the video is creepy/ghastly.

 

"I Would Die 4 U" - Prince

I don't listen to Prince enough, so this track featuring in the final trailer for Project Hail Mary (albeit extensively rejigged - see previous post), was a welcome reminder.

 

"Symphony For A Queen" - Haute & Freddy

Wot I Did On My Birthday, by IDV (aged 44 & fourteen halfs*)

 Well, yes, I did go for a walk as the photos above attest, but the evening before, I actually went out.  With actual people (four friends).  To a bar (for cocktails)!  Yes, I know.

 

 Anyway, we went to Shoreline in Cromer because I didn't fancy spending all night standing in a noisy, packed pub getting hot and bothered (and not in a good way) and not hearing what anyone was saying.  I had three cocktails - a Cromer colada (basically a piña colada with apricot rum or schnapps or something), a Garden sour (a Spring special made with rhubarb gin, lemon juice and syrup), and an Ameretto sour - and didn't have to open my purse once because my lovely, generous friends bought them!

 Shoreline doesn't seem to have a website but they are on IG and FB (I'm not linking to them as I don't approve of the whole Meta thing, but if you're curious you can find them under shorelinecromer).

 

I neglected to take photos of the place or the cocktails, so I nabbed these from the web.  It was not raining or wet when we went.

  Right.  That's Saturday night out of the way.  Here are the rest of the photos from Sunday morning's birthday walk with Bitey. 

Four Photos: Blue Skies

This was the view that greeted me on Thursday evening as Bitey led me home after our walk: The Moon with Venus peeking through the top of the trees.

 

 

And over Hexenhäusli Device, Jupiter (the brightest point of light) sailing through the constellation Gemini (last featured in full here).  The two stars above left of Jupiter are Alpha and Beta Geminorum, or Castor and Pollux.

 

 

From yesterday: Cherry blossom at Allotment Device.  I can't get enough of its scent!

 

 

And finally, this is my favourite tree in the village.  It stands opposite the track up to the allotments so I always get a good look as walk home.

(There used to be another tree partially obscuring it, but it was cut down last year.  Or the year before?  I can't remember.)

 

Of sunshine and hideous, snap-jawed sea creatures

 We've actually had rather a nice weekend, weatherwise: sunshine, balmy temperatures when the wind wasn't blowing, and when it was, it was coming form the south which meant that at least it wasn't frigid as per.

 As well as spending time up the allotment and in the garden, I also took Bitey down to the beach for his now traditional Sunday morning walk (we meet up with one of my friends who has a black lab who Bitey is always very excited to see, and vice versa).

 

 Anyway, here are some photos from that very walk: 

 

 

Four Photos: Fuzzy Behind

 I have just spent a rather enjoyable couple of hours up the allotment not having a bonfire (more on that in another post.  Possibly).  While I was there, this fuzzy behind caught my eye.

 I whipped Camera out and took loads of snaps, hoping that at least one or two might be in focus (Camera is, I fear, on its last legs.  The zoom lens thingy keeps getting stuck and a stern warning flashes up telling me to switch off and on again).  It turned out that ALL of them were in focus!  So that meant I had the harrowing job of whittling down EIGHT photos to four (I know.  As many as eight.  I'm already on my second glass of wine!), in order to construct this Four Photos post.

 

"Fame!  I wanna live forever..." keeps flashing through my head at this pose

 

"Surprise!"

 In the absence of anything with any substance - an impromptu adventure over the Cusp, for example - may I present another excerpt from 2017's Ms Scarlet in the Pantry with the Can-Opener, the unofficial and unauthorised biography of our very own Ms Scarlet!

 

 

 Today we'll be looking at chapter 4, "A Day Without Rain":

 

It is snowing

 

 That is all.

 

Vos Grace*

 It's been a lovely sunny - if a bit cold - day here, so this morning I took Bitey down to the beach for a walk.  We came down the cliff just before the east slope and slipway and made our way west. 

 (That's Trimingham sticking out into the sea on the horizon in the photo above; and the view north-northwest from halfway down the cliff, below.)

 

Adventures* in Allotmenteering

 * Adventures are not guaranteed.

Particularly at this time of year when growing has barely begun.

 

Here we have Allotment HQ seen through the bare branches of a Bramley apple tree.

On Sunday I spent over an hour manoeuvring between my shed HQ and next door's, cutting back the dead loganberry canes and pulling this year's fruiting stems back onto my allotment and tying them to the lean-to and freestanding frames.

The smoked plastic cloche and wonky waterbutt are blocking gaps in the fence to prevent deer from getting in - and Bitey from escaping.

They still do, though.  And so does Bitey.

 

 

This is the view up my allotment from the Bramley.

That's a big plum tree on the left, an apple on the right with another apple behind it, and a Victoria plum in the net.  On the far right left is a raspberry bed which leads up to a couple of loganberries and some more raspberries (and that netted plum).

Four Photos: How am I supposed to read it now?!

Ooh, what's this?

 

 

Why, the business end of one of these, of course!

 

 

Wait a minute... I don't remember ordering a craply shredded tarot magazine.

 

 

Ah, that's better.  Beneath that packaging was this:

a little model Starship Cerritos (and accompanying booklet)

Hibernation-Mode Entertainment

 In my less than triumphant return to blogging last Saturday (after three weeks off), I mentioned that I'd been in hibernation mode, i.e. eating lots of chocolate while slumped in front of the telly.  However, I also slouched before YouTube and lolled about in bed reading. 

 And here are some of the things I watched, read and listened to:

 

Played

"Immortal Love" - MIKA

 Over and over and over again. Thank you, Jon!

"The Moon's A Window To Heaven" (Album Version) - Hiroshima

Because I rewatched Star Trek V: The Final Frontier after several years - It wasn't as bad as I thought (or as some on the internet would have you believe).  It's not a patch on III and IV, but easily bests VI.

 

"I Had This Thing" - Röyksopp

 I have been listening to a lot of Röyksopp in Car II on my way to work.

"Cold Sweat, Hot Boys!" - Bright Light Bright Light & Ana Matronic

 I found this one just now!