"Surprise!"

 In the absence of anything with any substance - an impromptu adventure over the Cusp, for example - may I present another excerpt from 2017's Ms Scarlet in the Pantry with the Can-Opener, the unofficial and unauthorised biography of our very own Ms Scarlet!

 

 

 Today we'll be looking at chapter 4, "A Day Without Rain":

 

It is snowing

 

 That is all.

 

Vos Grace*

 It's been a lovely sunny - if a bit cold - day here, so this morning I took Bitey down to the beach for a walk.  We came down the cliff just before the east slope and slipway and made our way west. 

 (That's Trimingham sticking out into the sea on the horizon in the photo above; and the view north-northwest from halfway down the cliff, below.)

 

Adventures* in Allotmenteering

 * Adventures are not guaranteed.

Particularly at this time of year when growing has barely begun.

 

Here we have Allotment HQ seen through the bare branches of a Bramley apple tree.

On Sunday I spent over an hour manoeuvring between my shed HQ and next door's, cutting back the dead loganberry canes and pulling this year's fruiting stems back onto my allotment and tying them to the lean-to and freestanding frames.

The smoked plastic cloche and wonky waterbutt are blocking gaps in the fence to prevent deer from getting in - and Bitey from escaping.

They still do, though.  And so does Bitey.

 

 

This is the view up my allotment from the Bramley.

That's a big plum tree on the left, an apple on the right with another apple behind it, and a Victoria plum in the net.  On the far right left is a raspberry bed which leads up to a couple of loganberries and some more raspberries (and that netted plum).

Four Photos: How am I supposed to read it now?!

Ooh, what's this?

 

 

Why, the business end of one of these, of course!

 

 

Wait a minute... I don't remember ordering a craply shredded tarot magazine.

 

 

Ah, that's better.  Beneath that packaging was this:

a little model Starship Cerritos (and accompanying booklet)

Hibernation-Mode Entertainment

 In my less than triumphant return to blogging last Saturday (after three weeks off), I mentioned that I'd been in hibernation mode, i.e. eating lots of chocolate while slumped in front of the telly.  However, I also slouched before YouTube and lolled about in bed reading. 

 And here are some of the things I watched, read and listened to:

 

Played

"Immortal Love" - MIKA

 Over and over and over again. Thank you, Jon!

"The Moon's A Window To Heaven" (Album Version) - Hiroshima

Because I rewatched Star Trek V: The Final Frontier after several years - It wasn't as bad as I thought (or as some on the internet would have you believe).  It's not a patch on III and IV, but easily bests VI.

 

"I Had This Thing" - Röyksopp

 I have been listening to a lot of Röyksopp in Car II on my way to work.

"Cold Sweat, Hot Boys!" - Bright Light Bright Light & Ana Matronic

 I found this one just now!

The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts have claimed their 31st victim!

 If you haven't already heard, Ms Nations (AKA Steve. Because 'Steve' is almost as nice a name as 'Paul' was.) has become the Freakin' Green Elf Shorts 31st victim! 

 Commiserations Congratulations, Ms Nations!

 

 Rimpy Rimpington, the Official FGES Historian (and Commissioner of the Cloned Second Pair), has updated the Continuing History of the FGES which includes some 'deleted scenes' from his recent tenure with them.  And I've updated the FGES Travel Map - as you can see above. 

 

 That is all. 

No Snowdrops Were Harmed in the Making of This Post

 Just in case anyone was wondering, hibernation-mode (i.e. eating lots of chocolate while slumped in front of the telly) had set in this month (along with some ill-timed visits and events), and somethings had to give - one of which was blogging.  However, I do have a few photos from various to-ings and fro-ings in the last three weeks, so I've managed to slap together this post to show a little of what we've been up to.

 

Saturday the 3rd: We had a little snow.

 

 Thursday the 8th: On the way back from delivering a friend's birthday card, I noticed this pine tree with a twisted trunk.

 

 Sunday the 11th: I found this little number, "Dance The Pain Away" by Haute & Freddy, and was going to post it but must have been short on time or got distracted.

Jon has since featured it at his place.

Not considering byzantine intercalation

 Aside from being somewhat cold and windy, it's been a good start to the year* here weatherwise. I hope all of you have enjoyed a good start to 2026 in some shape or form.

 

[Photo above from the promenade this morning, and those below are from the South Wing of Hexenhäusli Device a couple of hours or so ago.]

 

 

 

 * Starting the year just prior to the depths of winter seems pretty daft to me.  I must look into adopting a calendar which begins in March (but not the early Julian calendar with it's byzantine intercalation).

The Birthday with an Inconvenient Year at the Beginning

 Yes, it's the end of the year again.

 Not the end of this year again - I'm not sure who'd want to go through that again!

 No, I meant the end of another year in general.

 Well, perhaps just say what you mean next time.  It would save an awful lot of confusion.

 I'm sure no one was confused.  And aren't you just picking in an attempt to pad the word count out a bit?

 What do you mean?  Of course not!

 So the fact that you must have noticed neither of our SubConsciousnesses have left us a splendid end-of-year round up that we can embellish with our gracious presences doesn't have anything to do with this pointless bickering?

 Hmmph.  No.  Where are the little sods, anyway?

 Well, mine is at the gin.  I have no idea where yours has got to.  

 Double hmmph!  Right.  We'd better get on with what little we've got, then.

  

 First up: Happy Birthday Savvy!

 Yes, many happy returns!  Sorry you've had to go through this whole year to get to your birthday award.  At least there were holidays and garden photos and Freakin' Green Elf Shorts along the way.

 

 

[ crickets ]

 

 

 And finally: "Rain Down Love" by the Freemasons. 

 (This is the only thing the dratted SubCs had left us!)

Happy New Year to you all!

 Oh, and:

... of course.

 

"All the pretty girls and all the pretty boys are...

... Freaks"

 

 - Haute & Freddy

 

 

"Tectonic Plates" - Dubstar

 

 

"Thrill Of The Night" - Sébastien Tellier (feat. Slayyyter & Nile Rodgers)

 (Bits of this one remind me of Alcazar's "Tears of a Clone".  Kind of.)

 

 

"Mystical Magical" - Benson Boone

 (You can thank Mitzi for this one)

 

 

"Deeper Shade of Blue" (Steps 25 Revisited Mix) - Steps

 Yes, I'm still listening to this - and watching the video (Ahhh, Lee... 😍) 

 

 

"Love U More" - Sunscreem

 

 

 This has been a Tunes on Tuesday production.

  

 Oh, just in case anyone is expecting an end-of-year-round-up at the end of the year (Savvy's birthday allowing, of course), don't get your hopes up as I have been even more slack than last year (you'll hardly be surprised to hear).

 I think I heard some sighs of relief?

 Hmmm...

 

 

 P.S. Remember that the Freakin' Green Elf Shorts Caption Competition is now on at Rimpy's, so get yourselves over there and leave a caption to be in with a chance of winning the FGES.  You know you want to! 

It's The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts Caption Competition Time!

 Yes, after nearly two years in their nefarious clutches, Rimpy Rimpington, has managed to extricate himself and is holding the Freakin' Green Elf Shorts Caption Competition!

 

 Here's a little tease of his photo: 

 

 For those not in the know or who may need a little reminder, the Freakin' Green Elf Shorts were inadvertantly conjured up by Queen of the Elves, Andrea Knapp back in 2004.  After affixing themselves to her husband, the 'Shorts got a taste for Blogger bottoms (and other body parts) - as well as the associated infamy - and struck out across the globe in search of unwilling undercarriages to cling to.

 

One of my favourite FGES photos by SID

 To ensure only the most worthy Blogger body parts got the chance to be caressed by the 'luxurious' green velour, Bloggers were tested to come up with an amusing caption for a photo of the then current host wearing them.  The author of the winning caption would then be sent the 'Shorts (how these things get through customs* is anyone's guess?) to don them and hold their own caption competition. 

 As to why anyone in their right mind would want to be violated by the detestable polyestables, the 'Shorts insidious mind control powers made otherwise rational minds turn to mush and crave the feeling of unwashed polyester against their nether regions, thereby perpetuating the 'Shorts bid for world domination!

 

 Uh, anyway, here's the latest version of The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts Travel Map so you can see where in the world has been tainted by the 'Shorts (and, therefore, which places to avoid):

 

 For more details of The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts' terrifyingly long-lived reign of velour terror, please refer to the Definitive History of The Freakin Green Elf Shorts by the Official FGES Historian (retired), The Very Mistress, and The Continuing History of The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts by current Official FGES Historian and Commissioner of Clones, Rimpy Rimpington.

 

 Could you be the next unlucky victim host of the 'Shorts?  Get yourself over to Rimpy's and leave a caption to be in with a chance of joining the very select few wearers of

 

The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts!

 

 

 

* How many customs officers have worn - or been worn - by the 'Shorts, I wonder?