Sunday 29 November 2020

"It looks like she spontaneously combusted at the muff!"*

 After the "success" of my last repeat post, I thought I'd give it another go with these two - yes, two! - re-runs from 2007 and 2010 respectively (these were the ones I was going to do before Beast and Tim stole the show).  I think they're quite appropriate for the circumstances that we find ourselves in, as they illustrate why one should keep one's distance from others as one never knows what may happen...


I only tapped her on the shoulder to ask if she wanted a coffee and she spontaneously combusted.

She could've just said 'No, thanks'.

Silly cow always has to be centre of attention...


* I loved Piggy (mayherestinpeace) & Tazzy's comment on the original post so much that I thought I'd use the first part of it as this post's title.


and: The Gunpowder Plop

She said she was bursting for the loo.
I didn't realise she meant it literally until she exploded.

I told her that smuggling gunpowder would be her undoing.


 And there you have it for another day.  And another month - See you in December!
 Although, after this month's flurry of activity (November hasn't been this productive since 2007!), don't expect much to be going on next month - two or three posts at a push, I should think?  Especially as I shall be working almost non-stop on the Coven Awards - the panic that the end of the year will soon be upon is is beginning to set in...

Friday 27 November 2020

November Day Drift catch up, Part 2

Sunday, 22nd November

 Last Sunday I walked to Frogshall to collect some pine cones to make Winterval decorations and such (they're still in a box in the garage...).  On the way there I admired the moss, lichen and fungus adorned trees (as seen below, and here), but on the way back, just as I reached Overstrand, I took a slight detour (only a hundred yards or so) and found a small, man-made lake (well, a big pond, really - see above).  

 Despite having lived here for most of my life, I had no idea it existed.  I knew there was a reservoir a bit further along which I also hadn't seen before - although I have now (scroll down to Wednesday) - but this was a big surprise!

 Have any of you come across anything surprising while you've been wandering about your respective neighbouthoods/necks-of-the-woods/extensive grounds?

Thursday 26 November 2020

November Day Drift catch up, Part 1

 The end of the month is almost upon us, and I find myself playing catch-up with all the photos I've taken in November.  It doesn't help that I keep taking more every time I go out and get my daily exercise, hence this post (and the next one).  However, rather than bore you with the same old scenes that you've seen a thousand times before, in each post will be photos of something new!

Sunday, 8th November

 I discovered a flying saucer construction zone while on my last walk along the cliff top to Sidestrand.  The two on the right are clearly in the first stages of development, while the one below looks like its nearing completion.  Then the two below that are ready and primed for take off!

Tuesday 24 November 2020

There's Nothing On But Repeats

 As Ms Scarlet seems to have much success with repeats of old blog posts, I thought I'd give it a go, too.  I had found a couple of rather old, explosive posts, but the return of Beast and Tim brought something else to mind: a trip over the Cusp starring none other than the two Blogorati of yore:

(first seen nearly ten years ago for Beast's birthday)

 It didn't take long for the blood to stop rushing to his brain and the almost overwhelming nausea and vertigo to fade.  As the gold and blue fireworks cleared and his vision returned, he noticed the vast expanse of reeds around him and a distant mansion at the end of a sweeping gravel driveway.
 There were voices, too, in mid-conversation:
 "Of course, I wouldn't know a snowy egret if I were pissing on one. Lunch?"
 "I think it's a little late in the season."
 "For lunch?"
 "No, pissing on birds."
 There was a pause which was when he realised that the two, very familiar, conversationalists were staring at him.  Quickly taking in his surroundings, adding two and two together and resignedly coming up with four, he despaired and his shoulders fell.
  Oh, no, Beast thought to himself.  Oh, please no.   Outwardly, he sighed at the realisation that he'd been dragged over the Cusp again without so much as a by your leave.  It was his bloody day off from Cafe C and here he was, over the bloody Cusp in bloody Eastwick, dressed as bloody Fidel to do the bloody bidding of Tim bloody 'Van Horne' and 'Alexandra' bloody DeVice.  Plus the rest of the bloody Coven, no doubt.  If he'd surmised correctly, they were at the point in the story where Van Horne had invited Alex for lunch - read: banquet - which he, as Fidel, was to prepare.  BloodyHell.
 And to make matters worse, this was yet another non-speaking part.  And on his birthday too!
 By this time, the stares had turned into baleful gimlet glares with no small amount of contempt evident.  Nodding submissively at Tim's unspoken order for an elaborate lunch with which to woo IDV, Beast's shoulders slumped even more as he trudged off towards the mansion kitchens.

Saturday 21 November 2020

Mooning over a Sunrise

 Now that my caption catastrophe has been cromulently combobulated with credit to your collaboration, here is the second set of morning photos from the first week of November:

 Another sunrise from Wednesday 4th (not that there were two sunrises on Wednesday - that would be most peculiar - just another set of sunrise photos in addition to those in the previous post)

Beach huts for Maddie

Sunrise from the prom

Thursday 19 November 2020

More of Dawn's Crack

 While the 10th Anniversary Infomaniac Garden Photos Event was underway, and to wake myself up for a day in front of the work laptop, I went out and about just after the crack of dawn again.  Well, I needed to have something not too taxing in the bag for when the event was over...

 So, here is the first batch of some of the many, many photos I took in the last couple of weeks:

Monday, 2nd November:

From the cliff top looking east
On the prom near the beach huts

Sunday 15 November 2020

A Flurry of Finches

 I'd just gone into the kitchen to make a coffee, when a flurry of activity on the bird table caught me eye: An invasion of goldfinches!
(Not to be confused with their North American counterpart)

 Amongst these red-masked, gold-winged little birds were a handful of their cousins: greenfinches and chaffinches (although these larger finches were seriously outnumbered).

Countering all the gold is a juvenile or female greenfinch

Friday 13 November 2020

GPE #11 : IDV Brings Up The Rear

 Welcome to the eleventh and final garden of the

10th Anniversary  I N F O M A N I A C  Garden Photos Event

And the garden is mine!

 But before we get going, I'd just like to say a big thank you to everyone who sent in some sort of greenfingered or thumbed photos - you made this year's Garden Photos Event a success!  And thank you also to all those who stopped by to take a virtual wander through these globe-spanning gardens - and extra special thanks if you left a comment or two.  Finally, an especially big thank you to The Very Mistress, for without her there would not be a Garden Photos Event, and also for allowing me to be the first Infomaniac Bitch to host this prestigious event.

 Right.  That's the niceties out of the way, the gates to Hexenhäusli Device's garden are open!


We begin with the main garden and a selection of photos from spring and summer:

April: Other than the daffodils (and my big cock pheasant), there's not a lot going on

May: White tulips and the red greenhouse

July: Upon entering the garden from the gate, one is accosted by a dwarf buddleia that didn't get the memo about being a dwarf.

Thursday 12 November 2020

GPE #8-10 : 'Petra, Scarlet & Savvy star in Murk, Mud, and Muddlement

 Welcome to the eighth, ninth, and tenth "gardens" of the

10th Anniversary  I N F O M A N I A C  Garden Photos Event

 Today's trifecta of triffidery shows that it's not all about the outdoors - after all, amongst other hazards,  it's muddy out there!  These indoor offerings come from 'Petra in Denmark, Ms Scarlet in Devon, and Savvy in California.

 First on the itinerary is the rather slack fair-weather blogger CyberPete - AKA 'Petra - with a 'Creatures and Cut Flowers' display.  Oh, and a promise to blog more often.  I wouldn't get your hopes up, though...


I realise I shouldn’t promise things I can’t keep but I will promise to blog more frequent than up until now. This highly unreliable guest star walk on business isn’t cute. It’s not working for Dame Joan Collins and it’s not working for me. 

 I do however present to you my second floor indoor garden complete with stray animals. You decide if they’re terrifying triffidery or otherwise.

[You can read 'Petra's post where this photo first appeared here - IDV]

[The state of those roses truly is terrifying. I am shocked - SHOCKED - I tell you! Just look at the state of them.  That water is murky enough to put Devon out of business.  And I bet it stinks, too.  I'm surprised at you, 'Petra. - IDV]


 Now, across the North Sea (and much of England) to Devon and Ms Scarlet:

Tuesday 10 November 2020

GPE #6 & 7 : Peenee & Norma vs the Church of the Holy Crackpot

Welcome to the sixth and seventh "gardens" of the

10th Anniversary  I N F O M A N I A C  Garden Photos Event

 Not for these two stalwart Infomaniac Bitches, Peenee and Norma, the delicate intricacies of beautiful little garden flowers.  No, these two size queens have something far more massive in mind: Trees!

 Our first stop is the streets of San Francisco, and the trees outside Peenee's place:


Since I sold my house and garden, I no longer have the lock on winning the garden crown (again) [Once again, the Management would like to remind you that the Garden Photos Event is NOT a competition - IDV] 

 The closest thing to any greenery I have are the miserable sycamore trees in front of my apartment building. Fifteen of them and every one more pitiable than the last. The city scheduled a hearing on removing them in August and then reconvened it for this month because of Covid. You'd think no one could possibly argue against cutting down trees that have no possible function except to turn into wooden shrapnel during one of our winter storms, but this is San Francisco. Someone will probably claim they're sacred to their Church of the Holy Crackpot or something.


Monday 9 November 2020

GPE #5 : Mitzi Goes Topless!*

* Well, her lānai does, anyway...

Welcome to the fifth garden of the

10th Anniversary  I N F O M A N I A C  Garden Photos Event

  After being teased with litle snippets from Mitzi about her new patio paysho lānai which has been painstakingly constructed at her new home, the Infomaniac Garden Photos Event is thrilled to bring you the first exclusive pictures of this wonder of paving and trellis!

 Although, in a storyline seemingly lifted from a certain defunct British soap opera, Mitzi first had to deal with the property's sitting tenants...


The previous owners had their parents ashes buried here. 


Saturday 7 November 2020

GPE #4 : Dinahmow's Down Under Jungle

Welcome to the fourth garden of the

10th Anniversary  I N F O M A N I A C  Garden Photos Event 

 We have journeyed to the southern hemisphere to take in the exotic delights of Dinahmow's garden on the east coast of Queensland, Australia where Dinah can often be found "wafting about the yard in my Morrissy Florrissy gown.  Maybe in a sun bonnet with a cute little trug on my arm."*
 First on the agenda is Dinah's triffid, followed by a rant about bananas(?!), and then some choice specimens from her subtropical surroundings...


 You're welcome to use this, rusty chains an' all, in your triffid collection. I'll try for a photo showing the miniscule flowers. 

[IDV - I happened to mention that the little/normal leaves made me think it was some type of Hoya, and this is what Dinahmow came back with:] 

 Hoya-arghh! Bloody ants! I did have a Hoya, but ants totally wrecked it. I think there may have been one flower... 

 You do know they will NOT flower unless pot-bound? That said, mine should have romped away, but the ants were sheer hell. And I do not spray nasties so... 

 Now, about the Dischidia...I did snap a pic of the flowers; not easy with the wind going bananas on the Beaufort scale. Oh! Bananas... that's another thing! I may come back to England ... where bananas are not a problem! The ones we have in this garden are commonly known as "lady fingers" and I'm not sure why; I'd say they are more like short, fat, man fingers. Anyway, this is the only variety allowed for back yard gardens. The Cavendish, grown commercially, is far superior. But the Man actually LIKES these horrid things! Fine, he can eat them with his breakfast fruit. But any banana plant is horror in a small yard.

 Here's the teeny weeny flower approx .5cm of the Dischidia pectinoides. You can see some of the seed pods (My chap calls them turtle shells) beginning to form.

[Clockwise from top left:] 
1. Dischidia pectinoides  
2. Dwarf heliconia (crab claw) 
3. Tacca (bat plant) 
4. Zyzgium wilsonii - renamed by Jon "Drag Queen"  

Thursday 5 November 2020

GPE #3 : Pam Demic Gets A Prick (or several...)

Welcome to the third garden of the

10th Anniversary  I N F O M A N I A C  Garden Photos Event 

 Maddie, the Mistress Borghese - and her alter ego, Pam Demic - have stepped up with a wonderful floral display for this, the third of 2020's Garden Photo Event installments.  I'll just hand you over to her now... 


First off, for the tour and in a time of COVID-19 I didn't know if I should come veiled and gloved.  I don't go anywhere these days without my veil.


Since I have but a little pied-à-terre, with no outside garden, I sent some beauties from my aunt's garden, with her glorious roses. I'm not sure the variety, but I do know when helping her prune, I have gotten pricked numerous times, and I'm not one to complain over a small prick, but these are wickedly prickly.... but, oh so bushy, fragrant and full. Here in October, they are still going strong with tons of bloom.

Tuesday 3 November 2020

GPE #2 : Exploring Jon's Back Passage

Welcome to the second garden of the

10th Anniversary  I N F O M A N I A C  Garden Photos Event 

 Today we find ourselves in the delightful surroundings of the Extensive Grounds of Delores Delargo Towers in North London, as attended to by Jon and Madam Arcati.  So, without further ado, I'll hand you over to Jon so he can guide you through his lush and verdant back passage...  Remember to click the pics to engorge!


Spring came quite early to the extensive gardens here at Dolores Delargo Towers this year and was awash with colour, given the mild winter and the lovely sunny spells that greeted the beginning of lockdown - and at least being at home every day meant we could enjoy it! Crocus, hyacinths, cyclamen, anemones, chionodoxa, dwarf iris, ipheon, fritillaria, snowdrops, (and later) tulips, aquilegia and bluebells all thrived beautifully.


Sunday 1 November 2020

The Very Mistress's 10th Annual Lady Garden Presentation*

Oops!  I mean:

Infomaniac Garden Photos Event

is now open!

 First, a little history of this auspicious event: Back in 2011, everyone's favourite Lazy Baggage (thank you, Beast), The Very Mistress (then known as MJ), decided that she couldn't be bothered to make any further effort on her blog, and swanned off to Montreal to get away from it all.  Just before she left, she tasked her Infomaniac Bitches to send in photos of their gardens or other greenery that she could display upon her return, probably thinking that there'd be two or three photos that she could just paste into a blog post, add a couple of captions, and publish while she collapsed with a Jameson's or twelve.  

Little did she know how popular this would be, however, and returned to garden photos from 21 of her faithful Bitches.  With what I imagine to be an enormous sigh, an over-dramatic eyeroll, and no small amount of swearing/drinking, The Very Mistress got to work collating the photos and organising them into a tasteful (ahem) display for her Bitches' voyeuristic enjoyment, and the first Infomaniac Garden Photos Event was born!

 With the event a resounding success, The Very Mistress brought it back the next year, and the year after that, and every following year.  And now, ten years later and true to form, the Lazy Baggage The Very Mistress gracefully demured from hosting the Garden Photos Event herself and palmed it off bestowed it with great honour upon her throng of gullible suckers attendant Bitches.  

 Which is why, in this tenth anniversary year, you find the Infomaniac Garden Photos Event being held here at Inexplicable DeVice rather than at Infomaniac.