"Oh my gods we're going to crash!"
"Stop wringing your hands, IDV. It makes you look even more limp-wristed" The Mistress snapped. "Remind me again whose stupid idea this was?"
I glared at LX in the pilot's seat by way of reply. "I said we should have taken Concorde, but oh no, we had to take the Space Shuttle out for a spin."
"Well, at least we can say we've flown it now" LX said.
"If we live to tell the tale, that is!"
"Have you no sense of adventure?"
"Oh, shut up, LX!" 'Petra almost screamed. "This isn't an adventure. This is a nightmare!"
"There!" Ms Scarlet pointed out of the window. "We can land there!"
"In a bloody forest?" I was incredulous. "Are you mad?!"
"No. Look" and Ms Scarlet indicated a wide, tree-less avenue with her calligraphy ink-stained index finger. "There's a strip of clear ground near the edge."
"Well, it'll have to do as we're out of options now." LX was suddenly all business. "Strap in everyone!"
We all started doing up seat-belts and harnesses except for The Mistress. Instead, she began to hand out frighteningly large, firm silicone dildos complete with straps and buckles on their bases. Gods only knew where she'd managed to hide them until now.
"Strap in, MJ" 'Petra yelled. "Not strap on! What good are those going to do?"
"Take our minds off getting smushed to smithereens when this thing hits the ground? And you address me as 'Mistress', remember? 'MJ' is so last season."
"Fine, Mistress" 'Petra sulked, then leaned in and whispered, "Although, can you save me that sparkly fuschia one?"
Through the windshield, the ground was looming at an alarming rate.
"Oh, gods, it's The Core all over again..." I muttered as we plummeted towards the outskirts of Bendigo.