Well, it seems once again I have within my clutches those despicable Freakin' Green Elf Shorts.
But what an occasion to return to the Blogworld! I must admit, I was humming and hahing about whether to jack it all in forever, and thought I'd have a quick flick through a few of my favourite blogs just to see what's been going on before I close up shop and retire over the Cusp.
I didn't get far before I discovered Miss Scarlet had "appropriated" the 'Shorts from Beast (and a good thing she did too, as Mr Beast had hung on to them almost as long as 'Petra!), and was holding The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts Caption Competition.
Now, I'm not one to pass up making a snide or bitchy comment, so I couldn't help but leave a remark or two at Miss Scarlet's. However, I did refrain from nastiness as the hostess is a splendid acquaintance. Little did I know that one of those captions would capture her heart - or possibly her gall bladder - and crown me the winner of the infernal things.
Had I had my precognition switched on I would have included a caveat with my captions promising the 'Shorts to another worthy blogger** as I've already had the "pleasure" of their company once before.
Why don't you just pass them on to someone else now? I hear you ask.
Because I'm greedy and need the attention. Just for a little while, mind, then I'll calm down and bask in someone else's glory instead of my own. Speaking of which: Congratulations to the two runnersup, Kabuki Zero and lx!
Before I forget, here's the updated FGES Travel Map should you be inclined to trace their trail of filth across the globe:
Now, if you don't mind, I've got to cut this short as Castle DeVice needs 'Shorts-proofing and I don't know how much time I have left!
* I have yet to receive them in the post.
** Such as the delightful Princess, a) because of the aforementioned delightfulness, and b) because those vile things should be as far away from here as possible and Australia is pretty damn far. Or, Tim...
* imagines Tim in all manner of poses clad only in The 'Shorts, the ghastly
synthetic fabric clinging suggestively to certain bulges... *
Ahem. I'm just going for a cold shower then a lay down. I can feel one of my heads coming on.