On my way back from Indescribable's (I was there for Babyzilla's birthday on Sunday), Inexcuseable sent me a text saying that we were nearly out of milk. I also remembered that the dishwasher still needed de-nymphing and so I popped to the supermarket near Sandringham to get the milk and de-nymphing solution.
|Inexcuseable's husband getting accosted by nymphos as he fishes|
an errant teaspoon out of the dishwasher's filter.
Remind me never to stop there again.
When I entered the store, there was a contingent of old ladies blocking the fruit & veg aisle, so I nipped down the hairnets & dogfood aisle reasoning that it'd be clear as the old ladies were already engaged. And I was right. Almost.
A balding old man with unfortunately large ears stood in the centre of the aisle seemingly weighing up two cans of pet food. As I neared him, I could see that he was actually trying to decide between flavours of Mrs. Majesty queen food. In one hand was Ossifrage & Hummingbird flavour, and in the other, the new (I could tell it was new by the bright yellow "New!" star on it) Otter & Flamingo flavour.
After shoving past him, I made my way to the toiletries aisle as I had a feeling I was nearly out of shaving gel. Unfortunately, they only had womens shaving foam, so I bought a small can, turning the label so I couldn't see Helen McDermott's suspender elastic staring back at me from the basket.
|Helen McDermott in her early career as a model/strumpet|
Later, I got held up behind the old coot from the hairnets & dogfood aisle as he led his cocktail sausages from the checkout to the exit.
|Fresh Battenberg Brand sausage meat|
To make matters worse, on the way out the carpark was annoyingly thronged with peasants milling around aimlessly.
|Where in blazes did one park the blasted carriage?|
Oh, and I forgot the milk!