Thursday 30 October 2008

I'b siiiiiiiiiiiick...

... so my planned Hallowe'en post may be cancelled. I knew I shouldn't have left it until the last moment.

I'm going to bed.


Tuesday 28 October 2008

One Wonders

Another tag, another meme. This one is from the ever resourceful Tara of Eclectic Spaghetti. One has to answer one word questions, but not necessarily with one word answers. Shall we begin?

1 Clothes? Horse
2 Furniture? Polish
3 Sweet? Shop
4 City? Centre
5 Drink? Up
6 Music? Box
7 TV? Times
8 Film? Premiere
9 Workout? Side
10 Pastries? Cinnamon
11 Coffee? Almond flavour coffee cream creamer. This was genuinely the first thing that popped into my head. Just shows how much I love Pushing Daisies! For any of you that don't get it: You should watch the show, shouldn't you?!

Oh yeah, I wasn't supposed to answer with one word answers - Well, I didn't with 11, so at least I don't have to do that one again. Oh well, second time lucky. And I want a go, too:

1 Clothes? Jeans and sparkly orange T-shirt! Well, I prefer my deep plum flight suit with the dark emerald lining and matching cloak. Oh, and Hat, of course.
2 Furniture? Bed. But we still need to get a desk for Demon Box.
3 Sweet? Cadbury's Wispa. Mint Imperial. That's a bit insensitive - You know I was nearly killed by one of those, don't you?
Of course * cackles *
4 City? Norwich. Pandemonium.
5 Drink? White grape & peach jui- Uh, I mean, wine.
6 Music? Goldfrapp. I'd have to agree.
7 TV? At the moment, Desperate Housewives. But it'll be Pushing Daisies when it comes back on.
8 Film? The Incredibles. Gattaca.
9 Workout? Not unless I can possibly help it. Me neither. But I wouldn't mind watching Tim doing one...
10 Pastries? A cinnamon swirl on the odd occasion, but I'm not a big fan as they're so fatty.

Okay, now I have to tag some people, but I'm not going to because I think quite a few people have already done this one, and those that have been tagged by someone else, but have yet to do it, obviously don't want to, so I'm not going to bother.

EDIT 30/10/08: I've put in a link to information about the yummy Wispa, up there.

Monday 27 October 2008

Items of Interest: Oh, it's not the menopause

Here is the second in the Items of Interest series. By the way, it's not me or my camera.

Or my fingers.

Or Apocalypse Oven.

Have you guessed what it is, yet?

Sunday 26 October 2008

Li'l ol' me.

In case any of you are interested, I have been interviewed by the adorable Dinah here.

As for my weekend, one of you guessed at least part of what I've been up to. The rest has been spent entertaining a friend, D, who travelled up from London on Friday evening. I met him at the station and we wandered into the city where we met another friend, N, at an Italian restaurant and had a lovely meal. That was followed by drinks in a pub where we met another friend, H, before returning to mine where D was staying. On Saturday, N & D went out for the day and I spent the afternoon... Well, that was the part one of you guessed. Then in the evening I joined N & D at N's house for a meal, some televisualising and card games.

I was up at the crack of dawn this morning because I had to go to work. Well, I didn't have to, but chose to for the extra money. And now I'm back having a quick catch up before doing the chores.

I hope you all had good weekends with your homosexuals, penis, work, dinner, birthday celebrations, shots, wee - sorry: wii - and sticky sulking?

Friday 24 October 2008

Going down...

I mean 'coming down'...

* ahem *

Yes. I seem to be coming down with a serious affliction. I believe it's called 'a Life'. I'm not too concerned about it, though. My crystal ball indicated that I'd be over it by Sunday evening, so there's something to look forward to.

Anyway, I'm posting this just in case any of you wonder where I am over the weekend. I haven't fallen down the back of the sofa, or flung myself forward in time into a new host, or managed to turn Tim to the dark side and spend the weekend ensconced with him in a cosy hideaway, more's the pity. But you're still on for next weekend, hmm? Tim?

Actually, I expect you won't care where I am, as I'm sure you're all off having lives of your own this weekend, anyway.




Bwah hah hah hah hah hah ha!

* wipes eyes *

No. Really. What are you all doing this weekend? Answers in the comments, please.

Wednesday 22 October 2008

Margaret 2.0

Before I begin the post proper, here are some facts about my 'house guest':

The original Margaret lived with the witch who owned the cafe where I used to work in my teens and early twenties. I cloned her before I left the North Norfolk Coast, and brought Margaret 2.0 with me to The Fine City Of Norwich. She's lived with me for the ten years that I've been here, so far. Now that she's in her teens, she's becoming more demanding and a little rough around the edges. She's even taken to drinking.

I give you: A Day In The Life Of Margaret 2.0

Here she is, staggering out of her pit first thing in the afternoon...
Putting on her slap...

Expecting me to chauffeur her around...

Here she is struggling with her shopping after a trip to Sainsbury's. Poor love doesn't have opposable leaves, so can't hold the bag properly...

And finally, after a hard hour shopping, here she is relaxing in the garden with a glass of chilled fertiliser. Lazy cow!

Sunday 19 October 2008

Items of Interest: The Towering Disco Inferno

This is the first in a series of posts as suggested by MJ here. Only I won't be so prolific as to post one household object per day. After all, you all know how lazy I am.

As you can see, on the left is the pictorial logo of this new series of Items of Interest. If I remember, I'll use this same logo for all subsequent posts in the series.

You will also see that, I have (and will continue to do so with future posts) photographed the Item from an unusual angle, and omitted to name it, thereby inviting you, the cherished reader/stalker*, to guess what it is. This first Item is an easy one seeing as it's the first of the series.

* I must have one, mustn't I? Anyone?

Saturday 18 October 2008

Fun at others expense

While I try and decide what to do next, in response to Tim's challenge, I give you Wonky-Mouthed Beaky:

Ha ha ha! Stupid little git!

P.S. Thank you for your suggestions from the last post. Anymore would be gratefully received.

Tuesday 14 October 2008

Wake me up

I was having a look back at my posts from this time last year to find some inspiration. For you see, lately, I just haven't been arsed to post anything. As is evident.
It's not as if I haven't been doing things that merit posting about, it's just that I can't make those things as witty and engaging as, say Tim's posts, for example. Or as resourceful and entertaining as Dinah's, or as revealing and emotional as T-Bird's.

Or as downright filthy as MJ's.

Anyway, I looked back at October 2007's posts and discovered that I didn't post anything of any worth then, either. It seems October is not a month for productive blogging. At least not from myselves.

So, I'm not even going to try. Hopefully, inspiration will strike soon because Hallowe'en is rapidly approaching and I simply must post something of worth for that most revered of days. Until then, you'll have to put up with what ever I manage to churn out. Like this old tosh, for instance.

Unless you have any suggestions for me?

Thursday 9 October 2008

The makings of a witch

I was, for once, doing the dusting and not playing Word Twist on dratted Facebook. I'd already done the washing up and hung a load of washing out to dry, fending off Beaky while I was at it. He had another go for my eyes, you know. Oh, yes. Swooping down out of the cherry tree with not even a warning screech! I instinctively brought my arms up to fend him off, somewhat like Tippi Hedren in The Birds, but was too late. However, the evil little bugger had failed to notice that I was still wearing my reading glasses so his sharp little beak was deflected and he went careening off towards the rose bush shrieking in rage. The right lens is ruined - There's a big chip in the middle of it, much like a stone chip in a car windscreen.
Anyway, back to the dusting. I'd dusted everything except the sideboard, so I cleared the top, removing the lamp, vase and crystal ball, placing them on the dining room table. The crystal ball shimmered momentarily as I put it down. Now, not being one to ignore a quick shimmy, I sat down in front of it and booted it up.
A seated figure coalesced in the crystal depths. It looked remarkably like me and was reading a large, ancient looking, hardback book. I quickly became subsumed in the vision...

~ ~ ~

A small black shape flickered into existence near the inner spine of the book. Another flicker and it was gone. Thinking his mind was playing tricks on him, he continued reading but the corner of his eye kept tabs on the spine. Another shape formed and disappeared. Then another. More and more flashed into existence radiating out from the spine, random shapes, ink black, momentarily blocking out the text, overlapping each other as they appeared faster and faster and in greater numbers. Within seconds, the pages were completely black. Yet, in the blackness were words. These words, although as black as their surroundings, were easy to read. Far too easy. They practically leapt from the page and into his head, forcibly entering his mind. He stared in stifled shock as the inky darkness flickered over his fingertips where they rested on the pages.
His mind screamed at him to drop the book but his nerve impulses ignored the directive. his body wasn't listening to his brain's instructions. The irregular shapes fluttered across his skin, swarming up his arms and across his chest. He felt the tickle of them, like dry leaves, as they passed over his lips and into his mouth, drying it instantly. A final breath through his nose was tainted with an odd smell, then his vision faded and died. There was nothing but penetrating black, darker than shadows and even more silent. Even his thoughts were quiet and still.
Watching, as if from afar, he began to perceive something amidst the darkness. The thing stirred.

"Ah, good" it said in familiar voices. "You're in. Surprise! You've got guests!"

Whatever he once was put down the book and got up to get a glass of water.

~ ~ ~

I gasped and withdrew from the scene in the crystal ball. I'd just seen a past I didn't remember leading to a future I wanted to forget! I should have known not to look into the damn thing today, the third anniversary of my arrival in the 21st century.

Yes. And your arrival in me!

Oh, hush.

Wednesday 8 October 2008

Sunday 5 October 2008

Castle DeVice

I think it was CyberPetra who once asked about my delightful abode, so, in the absence of anything more meaningful to post about, I give you Castle DeVice. I must just say, however, that not all of it is on show. Some rooms I keep folded up in other dimensions, bringing them out when needed (saves on the dusting and cleaning). The grand ballroom and parlour are two of the said rooms. As for the dungeon, I folded it away somewhere safe and now can't find it! I hope there wasn't anyone in it?

Anyway, on with the tour and do wipe your feet before you come in:

First up is the living room (the front door is to the right - this pic was taken from the bay window).

This is the view back into the living room from the foot of the stairs and entrance to the dining room.

The view from my makeshift desk under the stairs into the dining room.

My tiny galley kitchen where various cakes are baked, both consciously and unconsciously.

I don't think I need say anymore, except that there is a toilet - I just think it's a bit impolite to take a photo of it. Call me a prude if you must.

Going up the stairs, this is the view down into the dining room.

The spare room where Tazzy & Piggy stayed. Of course, there was linen on the bed then - They didn't just sleep under an uncovered duvet. This room desperately needs decorating - I meant to do it after NonExistant Boy moved out but haven't got around to it yet.

My room. A bit nondescript, but then, no one ever sees inside it except me (and now you), so why bother?

Most of this was collected years ago except the books on the first third (from the left) of the top shelf. The middle shelf has all but six of my Star Trek: Deep Space Nine videos (all seven seasons worth) - The other six are on the bottom shelf.

I don't spend nearly enough time in here writing and drawing, and when I do, I tend to get distracted watching the birds in the tree and on the feeder in the back garden.

And there you have it.

Wednesday 1 October 2008