Saturday, 31 October 2015

Hallowe'en Creepycous-cous*

 Amongst the leafless trees and shrubs, the haphazardly placed statues stood cold, wrapped in dark shadows, and edged in dull moonlight.
 "They're weird, aren't they?"
 "The statues. They look like people." Allan inspected the weather-softened features of a slightly plump, stone woman as their dog, Monkey, sniffed around in the dead leaves at the statue's feet.
 "Isn't that what statues are supposed to look like?"  Patrick called back as he continued ahead through the grounds.
 "Well, yes, but these look like actual people. They're not posed, or stylised, or... or... I mean, this one looks like it could be wearing jeans and a t-shirt! Shouldn't they be wearing robes, or armour, or something?"
 "I suppose."
 "And have you noticed" Allan raised his voice as Patrick retreated, "that they're all looking down?"
 "I suppose."
 "And they look a bit... Surprised."
 "I suppose."
 "Oh! Will you stop saying that!"
 "I suppose." Patrick laughed and headed through the statues towards the rusted iron gate set in the perimeter wall. "You know" he shouted, barely looking over his shoulder, "legend has it that these were all real people once. They turned to stone when they heard a dog speak."
 "Right" said Allan as he rolled his eyes and waited for Monkey to finish weeing over the weathered statue's shins. 
 As Patrick disappeared from view, Allan turned and looked down at Monkey. "Come on. Let's go home and get some tea." Monkey looked up expectantly at the word "tea" and wagged her tail. Allan smiled at the happy dog. "And you'd better not talk, OK?"
 "I won't" said Monkey.


Sunday, 25 October 2015

A Magic Carpet Ride

 I took a ride on a flying carpet today. I swore I'd never use one of the things after this little incident, but as it was Indescribable's and she wanted us all to go out as a family, I grudgingly agreed (she still has her broom, but the carpet is roomier and more practical now she has a babyzilla and another little horror on the way).

 Broom, understandably, was livid. Until I pointed out that the whole point of the flight was to show Babyzilla the sights of Cromer, and that with her on board, stickiness, whining, and various bodily excretions were pretty much guaranteed. Funnily enough, Broom quickly relented, and seemed happy to stay propped up in the umbrella stand with Hat for company while we were out.

 So. Here are some photos I took while Indescribable rather cack-handedly piloted her flying carpet. Needless to say, as this was the middle of the day, we used an obscuring spell to remain unseen to all and sundry below.

As before, hang a left at the lighthouse...

Saturday, 24 October 2015

Wanton for Well-Built Warlocks (and other distractions)

 Well, it's been another of those weeks. Fortnights, actually. Sometimes, living on the Cusp gets right on my thre'pennies!

Click to be terrified!
  Sunday, 14:49 - Narrowly avoided being cocooned in silk, then sucked dry*, on a walk down Overstrand High Street.
 I forgot about the giant spider that lives at the end of the road...

* By the spider, as in: liquify my insides then drink them. Not anything untoward!

Wednesday, 14 October 2015

And they were scalded to death*

 Oof! I'm back!

 I know it's only been a few days since the anniversary, but we've been remarkably busy with work and socialising
Yes. I know!
 So, I'll leave you with the Host's latest "books read so far this year" update. While you're looking at or ignoring this, I'll do something about answering the comments in the last post and will also have a flit around your blogs, too. 

 See you out there!

~ ~ ~

 This book post is a bit Star Trekky this month, plus there are rather more books here than in the normal book posts, but that's because we didn't publish a book post back in September what with all the Tin Foil Hat rigmarole.
 Anyway, on with the show:

 43. Stories To Tell To Children, by Sara Cone Bryant

 This charming little book was first published over one hundred years ago in 1911. And the edition that I read (pictured on the right) was reprinted in October 1947 - I found it in The Parents' bookcase while packing things up in preparation for decorating.
 I must say, I was rather surprised by the amount of animal characters whose lives came to a sudden, and rather casual and callous end. I suppose, in that respect, some of these stories are much like the original fairy tales (which were warnings rather than sweet little tales to tell to children).
* Post title from "Another Little Red Hen" on page 86.

Friday, 9 October 2015

Tenth Anniversary Tin Foil Toasting!

 Hello, and welcome to this double celebration event! Yes, not only is it the 10th anniversary of this blog-
 And my arrival in the 21st century!
 Yes, that goes part-and-parcel with the blog thing. Now quiet while I get on with this.
 Where was I? Oh, yes: Not only is it the 10th anniversary of this blog, but we will be revealing the winner of the Tin Foil Top Hats and Tiaras Competition!
 Before we announce the winner, we'd just like to thank you all for coming, and for your continued support over the years.
 Yes, whether you're an occasional visitor or a long-time lurker, a Flying Monkey or a Coven member, or even The Mistress-
 Who has been with us almost since the beginning. Although, she was called MJ then...
 I was getting to that! Ummm... Yes. So a big thank you to everyone who has put-up-with and played in this little corner of the Blogworld.
 Right, then. On with the show!

 The comment and email votes have been amalgamated and counted and I'm pleased to announce that every single eligible tin foil hat was voted for. However, the clear winner of the 2015 Tin Foil Top Hats and Tiaras Competition, with twice as many votes as the next highest entry, is...

Wednesday, 7 October 2015

Is... Is that a bridal Stormtrooper?

 Due to some pushing and shoving around the chapeaux gallery, and some people breaching the velvet rope barriers to have a grope at the tin foil exhibits (poor Hound is in even more agony now - although, from the look on his face, it's not all bad...), I've had to employ some security.

 Not knowing really what to look for in a security guard, the lovely Dinahmow stepped in and provided this Imperial Guard (looks like she snatched it straight from its wedding - fab bridal outfit!):
"I do" - Dinahmow's Imperial Guard in the midst of its own wedding.
Apparently, that's Nefertiti under there - I wasn't aware she had a part in Star Wars...

 Anyway, you can continue to peruse the Tin Foil Top Hats and Tiaras Gallery below and vote for your favourite either in the comments or by emailing me (email address in my profile). You have until midnight (GMT) Thursday 8th October to vote, and I'll be announcing the winner on the 10th anniversary of this blog which is Friday the 9th October.

 Good luck everyone!

Sunday, 4 October 2015

Tin Foil Top Hats & Tiaras Gallery 2015

Oof! I'm awake. I'm awake. Here I am!

 Welcome to the Tin Foil Top Hats and Tiaras Gallery! As I'm sure you're all aware by now, this foil encrusted occasion is being held to celebrate the fact that we've managed to keep this blog going for ten years!
Ten interminable years.
Yeah, what a bloody palaver it's been. We should have given up back in 2010 instead of dragging this old carcass into another year.
 Hey! Shut up. We got back into the swing of things last year, didn't we?
I suppose...
 Ug. Who invited them? I thought you said the SubCs were going to be visiting Grandma Rosecrypt today?
 Well, that was the impression they gave. Irritating little sods.
 Anyway, we'd better get on with this as I feel we're losing the audience, so back to the matter at hand: In a little under a week - Friday the 9th of October, in fact - this blog will turn ten years old.
 And, it will also be ten years since I, Inexplicable DeVice, arrived here in the 21st century! Well, my mind, anyway. My body got a little charred just before I set off, but luckily The Host was here to land in.
 I don't know that I would call it lucky...
 Oh, hush. You sound like the SubCs! 
 Right! On with the show - and wipe your feet before coming in (you can hang your coats and whatnot in the foyer)! 

Friday, 2 October 2015

"Can you smell cum?"

 I've just returned from The Parents where I was forced into gruelling manual labour (painting door frames & cabinets, moving bags of compost and cleaning the inside of car windscreens), and caught a most distinctive smell as I cycled up the Northrepps Road.

There must be linden trees in the woods surrounding Northrepps Cottage.

Thanks for that, Prime Minister.

Thursday, 1 October 2015

Music to watch Tin Foil go by

 Right. As I'm sure you're all* coming into the home stretch with your tin foil hats (and the like) now, how about a little music to keep you going?
 Apologies for the adverts in the videos - I looked for non-official vids without advertising, but they were either crap quality or didn't exist (and, yes, I checked ViewPure, too)

 I've also been quite partial to Kim's "Never Trust A Stranger" and "Four Letter Word".