Sunday, 29 November 2020

"It looks like she spontaneously combusted at the muff!"*

 After the "success" of my last repeat post, I thought I'd give it another go with these two - yes, two! - re-runs from 2007 and 2010 respectively (these were the ones I was going to do before Beast and Tim stole the show).  I think they're quite appropriate for the circumstances that we find ourselves in, as they illustrate why one should keep one's distance from others as one never knows what may happen...

Bang!

I only tapped her on the shoulder to ask if she wanted a coffee and she spontaneously combusted.

She could've just said 'No, thanks'.

Silly cow always has to be centre of attention...

 

* I loved Piggy (mayherestinpeace) & Tazzy's comment on the original post so much that I thought I'd use the first part of it as this post's title.

::

and: The Gunpowder Plop

She said she was bursting for the loo.
I didn't realise she meant it literally until she exploded.
 

I told her that smuggling gunpowder would be her undoing.

~o~

 And there you have it for another day.  And another month - See you in December!
 Although, after this month's flurry of activity (November hasn't been this productive since 2007!), don't expect much to be going on next month - two or three posts at a push, I should think?  Especially as I shall be working almost non-stop on the Coven Awards - the panic that the end of the year will soon be upon is is beginning to set in...

15 comments:

  1. Makes - erm - a change from beautiful photographs of sunrises and the English countryside, I suppose. Jx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I suppose one of those sunrises could have been the glow of flames from just over the horizon? Although, it's more likely to have just been the actual sun, as spontaneous human combustion seems to have gone out of fashion now...

      Delete
  2. I’ve been away for far too long. I thought it would be a story about you having car trouble.

    By the end of today my muff may explode and that too won’t be car related.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Car trouble! What are you insinuating, 'Petra? That my Car isn't up to snuff?1? Well, I'll have you know it passed the MOT last week - and I only had to spend £1,500 on it beforehand.

      What? Of course I'm not oversensitive about Car!

      ...

      Um... Anyway, I hope the repairs to your muff aren't as expensive...

      Delete
  3. spontaneous human combustion seems to have gone out of fashion now...
    Likewise wearing several layers of nylon beneath a Crimplene skirt, whilst dragging on a fag.
    Sx

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    Replies
    1. Apologies for the lateness of my reply - On my way in I got wedged in the doorway by my crinolined Crimplene frock! I had to burn it off with my fag. Oh, shit! I mean, I wasn't having a fag - we're in lockdown, after all...
      Now, what were you saying?

      Delete
  4. I remember telling my mother that I wanted to spontaneously combust and her being horrified. Suck it up, bitch.

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    Replies
    1. If you were young enough so that it wouldn't have been awkward, perhaps you could have said it while giving her a big hug or sitting on her lap?

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    2. After my very first rushed exit a month early I avoided that area completely.

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  5. It's a fact that one can spontaneously combust caused by too much friction at the muff.

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    Replies
    1. I can smell burning... I hope you have the fire brigade on standby?

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  6. I do wonder if cotton protects a muff from combusting? xoxo

    p.s. Is there a contest coming up with AWARDS? How can I enter??? What must I do? I mean, somebody has to ask "Did I win yet?" (RIP LX)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You may need to borrow some of Ms Scarlet's asbestos undergarments, Savvy.

      P.S. Don't worry about the awards. As long as you can manage to have your birthday on time, you're sure to win something ;)

      Delete
  7. Money for old rope!

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