This is Not The 2016 Infomaniac Book Challenge in the same way as this is Not The Hats of Barbara Cartland.
In the presentation post for the challenge (as linked to above), The Very Mistress MJ declares that: "Reading enriches us, stimulates our imaginations, reduces stress, improves our vocabulary, and increases our intelligence". However, I'm not quite sure that reading the following examples of literature from over the Cusp will achieve those goals...
α : Marmalised Marmalades, by Delilah Smythe
TV chef, football hooligan, and bane of housewives everywhere; Delilah Smythe shares her favourite short-cut recipes for breakfast preserves in this classic edition of her best selling cook book.
With no shortage of exploding oranges and TNTed tangerines, Delilah's no-nonsense recipes can be completed in seconds, leaving you with the rest of the afternoon free to wallow in front of the TV clutching a bottle of cooking sherry while a legion of tradesmen rebuild your kitchen.
β : Dreamy in Speedos, from wwwWOW!
I found myself with nothing to do while waiting for a cake to bake, and ended up flicking through last summer's special from w-w-w-WOW! magazine.
Well, I say "flicking through" but, somewhat mysteriously, some of the pages were inexplicably stuck together. Particularly the ones in which the mag's main cover story appeared. Quite how the slightly blurry, but revealing photos of a practically naked Tim from Sparky Malarkey ended up this way, I don't know?
Perhaps you accidently spilt batter on them?
Perhaps... Anyway, amongst the articles featured on the cover, the mag takes a look back to the influences of 2008's top ten chart classic Dreamy in Speedos.
γ : Ten Little Houseboys, by Anaglypta Christie
Another tired and lazy rehash of a murder-mystery well past its sell-by date in the 243rd Houseboy novel from Infomaniac Publishing.
This updated reprint—the 96th, in fact (who keeps buying these?)—has been
I don't know who the publisher is trying to kid...
δ : The Boy Who Came Stars, by Jad Bowring
I'm not usually one for fiction as I leave all that clap-trap to the Host, but this novella was recommended by my cousin Svaathor da Vjis, so I thought I'd give it a go while the Host was arguing with the SubCs.
From the back cover:
A retired incubus and his witch boyfriend discover that their mortal neighbour's seventeen year old son is not the lazy wastrel that he appears to be: The unfathomably arrogant young man is prophesised to sire a legion of new gods who will then bring about the end of the pantheon of old!
Should the eldritch couple encourage and guide the boy-on-the-cusp-of-manhood to fulfil his destiny, or do they side with the gods—some of whom are their friends and relatives—and thwart the hormone-driven urges of the teenage deliquent?
Surburbia's sexual tension has never been so dangerous!
I must say, it's a little close to real life for my liking. Except for the sauce. And the neighbour being seventeen. I'm sure he was eighteen...
ε : I Am A Starfleet Octonaut -
Confessions from the Starship Aquaria,
by Dr. G. F. Shellington
It's amazing what people get up to once they've been cooped up in a small starship for weeks on end! This gossip rag masquerading as a psychological journal brings to light the unusual and downright bizarre goings on from one of the Federation Starfleet's science vessels—the USS Aquaria—during a classified mission near the Anchar Sector in the year 2365.
The ship's marine biologist and part-time psychologist, Doctor Shellington, published this study detailing the private lives of the forty seven-strong crew, including his own "theraputic roleplay" dressing up as an Octonaut from an ancient childrens educational TV show!
As this study comes with a rather plain, dry cover—unlike those of the other pieces of literature shown here—I've taken the liberty of furnishing this post with a candid image of Dr Shellington caught in the act of changing out of his Starfleet uniform and into his barely-there Octonaut get-up.
While I'm not averse to a man in uniform, sometimes the uniform can be unnecessary...
Not bad for a doctor and scientist, eh?
Right, then! If your brains haven't turned into custard from perusing these "tomes", I suggest you head over to The Very Mistress's to find out what real people have really been reading. Really!
P.S. I would link to The Mistress's 1st of March post, but it's not there yet as MJland is in the UK's past. I'll do it later. Oh, and I'll visit your blogs later, too, as I'm off to work now.
P.P.S. It's now 14:00 and The Very Mistress MJ has published the aforementioned post, so I have linked to it here and just above.