It's The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts Caption Competition Time!

 Yes, after nearly two years in their nefarious clutches, Rimpy Rimpington, has managed to extricate himself and is holding the Freakin' Green Elf Shorts Caption Competition!

 

 Here's a little tease of his photo: 

 

 For those not in the know or who may need a little reminder, the Freakin' Green Elf Shorts were inadvertantly conjured up by Queen of the Elves, Andrea Knapp back in 2004.  After affixing themselves to her husband, the 'Shorts got a taste for Blogger bottoms (and other body parts) - as well as the associated infamy - and struck out across the globe in search of unwilling undercarriages to cling to.

 

One of my favourite FGES photos by SID

 To ensure only the most worthy Blogger body parts got the chance to be caressed by the 'luxurious' green velour, Bloggers were tested to come up with an amusing caption for a photo of the then current host wearing them.  The author of the winning caption would then be sent the 'Shorts (how these things get through customs* is anyone's guess?) to don them and hold their own caption competition. 

 As to why anyone in their right mind would want to be violated by the detestable polyestables, the 'Shorts insidious mind control powers made otherwise rational minds turn to mush and crave the feeling of unwashed polyester against their nether regions, thereby perpetuating the 'Shorts bid for world domination!

 

 Uh, anyway, here's the latest version of The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts Travel Map so you can see where in the world has been tainted by the 'Shorts (and, therefore, which places to avoid):

 

 For more details of The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts' terrifyingly long-lived reign of velour terror, please refer to the Definitive History of The Freakin Green Elf Shorts by the Official FGES Historian (retired), The Very Mistress, and The Continuing History of The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts by current Official FGES Historian and Commissioner of Clones, Rimpy Rimpington.

 

 Could you be the next unlucky victim host of the 'Shorts?  Get yourself over to Rimpy's and leave a caption to be in with a chance of joining the very select few wearers of

 

The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts!

 

 

 

* How many customs officers have worn - or been worn - by the 'Shorts, I wonder?

Children these days are high in cholesterol, anyway.

 

 Minus cooking a quivering slab of meat, this has been my weekend. Well, my Sunday afternoon, at least.  Bah!

 

(It took me a little while to find this ad as I thought Geoffrey Palmer said "I love children.  But I couldn't eat a whole one."  Still, his face at the end says it all.) 

What song did you last...

... have stuck in your head?

 

The Beautiful South : "A Little Time"

 

 I hadn't intended to do another of these 'What song...' posts* so soon, but as I was waking up this morning, "A Little Time" was running through my head so I trapped it for use later in the day - i.e now.

 

 I think it came from a dream I only have vague recollections of now?  In my dream I was getting ready to leave a big, many roomed house.  There were a few other people there but they were staying, or at least not coming with me.  I have a feeling that there was another big house close by - a neighbouring property - which I may or may not have seen once I got outside.  But it was at that point that I woke myself up properly because the song was already in my head.

 I don't know if it was playing in my dream, or whether someone said something which reminded me of the lyrics, but however it was conjured up, it's here now.

 

 At the risk of having it stuck in there again (or maybe it's still there?), what song was your last earworm? 

 

 

* A little like the '4 Photos' posts, I thought I could do 'What song...'s once in a while to break up the barren expanses of NotBlogging that occasionally sometimes often occur here these days.

 We'll see how that turns out, hmm?

 

 

* * *

 

 In other far more exciting news, The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts Caption Competition is now on at Rimpy's!   Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!11!!!1!!

What song did you last...

... dance to?

Deee-Lite : "Groove Is In The Heart"

 I'd finished my swim, had a shower, and was partially dressed in the changing cubicle this morning when the first song accompanying the ladies-of-a-certain-age doing aquarobics came on: "Groove Is In The Heart" 

 

 I was a bit glum because I'd had to finish my swim earlier than anticipated to make way for the aquarobics class (which had been brought forward from Friday because the pool is being closed for two weeks for maintenance), and My Lifeguard wasn't there which means I won't see him for at least two weeks (because of that dratted but probably essential maintenance).  However, Deee-Lite soon cheered me up and before I knew it, I was Lady Miss Kier in the cubicle!

 

 What song did you last dance to? 

GPE 2025 : The Finale

* C R A C K *

 

 Drat it!  Who stood on that twig and startled my woodsman?  Now I'll have to leave him be for a while before I can sneak up again and snatch that horrid flannel shirt away.  Bah!

 Well, seeing as you're all here, we might as well get on with the closing ceremony.

 

 Thank you to everyone who took part in this year's Event.  Whether you shared your garden photos, visited and left comments, or just wandered around gazing at the various botanical specimens on show (and avoiding the triffids - unless you didn't, in which case, thanks for acting as fertiliser!).

The gardens and greenery were full of gorgeousness once again and, as always, served as inspiration for next year.

 Here's what we got up to:

 

Programme of Events

 

The  I N F O M A N I A C  GARDEN PHOTOS EVENT 2O25

 began on Hallowe'en with the now traditional TERRIFYING TRIFFIDERY!

 

 

1st November

The  I N F O M A N I A C  GARDEN PHOTOS EVENT

opening ceremony

 

 

GPE #11 : IDV's Year of the Greengage

I N E X P L I C A B L E

D E V I C E

 

 Yes, it's finally my turn!

 I'm sure you mean our turn, hmm?  After all, whose hands and body - not to mention knowledge and bank account - is used to maintain our garden?  If it was left to you, the Hexenhäusli Device gardens would be a prickly, poisonous wilderness of brambles, apple trees, hemlock, and foxgloves!

 It would save having to go out on the increasingly unsafe Broom to gather ingredients.  Besides, you like those plants.

 Yes, but not just those plants as a garden!

 Oh, fine.  You can get on with the captioning and the like as you're the "expert"!

 I will, then!

Oh, good.  This is turning out well, as usual.

Wake me up when it's all over.

 

 Right.  Now that Witchface and the dratted SubCs have shut up, I'll continue.

 You may have noticed that we've been decidedly absent from the blog this year, which means that there were rather fewer garden updates than usual.  A consequence of that is a glut of garden and allotment photos that are all being dumped here because they haven't yet seen the light of day.  I've tried to include mainly plants that haven't featured in the previous couple of years, and I've smushed some together to make sure this post didn't wear out your scrolling fingers.

 

It may be rather dull and overlooked usually, but when in flower (such as here in early May), I think laurel is quite lovely.

GPE #10 : Melanie's "Unofficial Official Animals in the Garden" Event

M E L A N I E

 

I think you really like the Owl in Flight picture the most from the Raptor show?

[I do! - IDV]

I've attached it here, but if you prefer another one feel free to take it from the Wordpress post for this event as part of the "Unofficial Official Animals in the Garden" portion.  I do get a lot of owls here at Fernmire.  One of the Douglas Fir trees in particular is a popular spot for them to cough up the fur and bones of their diminutive prey.

 

 

I grew these!  I grew these!  My first time growing actual fancy flowers, flowers that required full sun! Gladiolus Spp. (because there's always more than one variety of plants) 

If its not too late, you could also throw this in for the Terrible Triffids, though I know Halloween is tomorrow.

[Funnily enough - and you couldn't have known at the time - Gladioli served as the Terrifying Triffidery poster plant anyway. - IDV]

GPE #9 : Mitzi's "Fifty Shades Of Green"*

M I T Z I

 

 Please find attached my garden pics, not many this year as I'm moving and have lost interest with it, you should see the weeds in my border. I even caught the woman next door spraying weed killer in my nooks and crevices see pic.

 

I've been pulling the above plant up in their droves for years, however it's the first time I've let it flower and I quite like it, my plant identification app told me its a Japanese anemone, but I beg to differ so this one is for Jon or you to identify.

 [Well, I do agree with your plant ID app.  I think it's a Japanese anemone, too.  Jon? - IDV]

GPE #8 : Mago's "terrifying tryffidrie"

M A G O

 

 Finally a few pictures for the Garden Photo Event, much too early, sorry.*

 

 It is Plant A (I still call her so, despite the fact that it is not the original "plant A" of some years ago) - Plant A, I say, in total, from below, and an apple.

 Sorry, no terrifying tryffidrie.

[That's what you thought! - IDV]

 

Plant A total

GPE #7 : Jon suggests I "muck around with them..."

D O L O R E S

D E L A R G O

T O W E R S

(AKA Jon & Madam A)

 

 After a bit of a slow start, it was a magnificent Spring and summer this year in London, and the extensive gardens here at Dolores Delargo Towers have really benefitted for all the extra sunshine - not least when I added a new tiered display stand to the border, and then two of the hideous bastard weed trees in neighbouring gardens were felled!

 

 Without further ado, highlights from the seasonal display, starting with the earliest blooms...

l-r: Cyclamen persicum,  Primula hybrida,  Brunnera macrophylla 'Jack Frost'

GPE #6 : Savvy "shares something gorgeous from the garden and cheers the fuck up!!"*

 

S A V V Y

 

These are some random shots of what's growing in the garden today.

[21st February - IDV] 

 

[...] The poppies just started blooming, but we've had big clumps of green leaves waiting patiently for their arrival.

 

I don't the name of the succulents that are blooming near the curb, but perhaps one of y'all might know from the close-up. (I know I could look it up, but...)

GPE #5 : Remembering Elephant's Child

 

 This is a very special Garden Photos Event post in commemoration of Dinahmow's blog friend, Sue, who lost her battle with cancer at the end of September.  Dinah asked if we could feature Sue's garden in Canberra, Australia, as she left it at the onset of spring which I thought was a lovely idea.

 The commentary and most of these photos are from Sue's final post, and I've provided links to the respective originating posts beneath the rest of the photos.  (The cockatoo and magpie above are from Sue's blog header photo.)

 

☙❧

 

S U E

 

 Spring is most definitely here and I continue to revel in it.  I hope to see anenomes and ranunculas in the coming days.

[I hope you did, Sue - IDV]

 

 

 Same old, same old on the photographic front but they make me smile and I hope they do the same for you.

 

[From Sunday Selections #831]

GPE #4 : Dinahmow "sacrificed some blood to get it!"

 

D I N A H

 

 I still don't have a "proper" garden, but I have a few things in pots and I've been doing some severe pruning which has unearthed all sorts of stuff!  Walnuts!  No sign of a walnut tree!  Three very BIG trees that I think are cherry or plum. And a very prickly native which I can't be certain of!

 The Jacaranda is from our Australia garden; also the Trachelospermum jasminoides - But taken since last year's pics.

 

My grand old stalwart Trachelospermum. Yes, I have it here (actually, in the niece's side of the garden; not quite flowering here yet.)

GPE #3 : Maddie, the Mistress Borghese's "upright perk"

 

M I S T R E S S  M A D D I E

 

 Here we are again at the Casa du Borghese and I still don't know what things are called and still just plant things even if I'm not sure of their requirements.  Needless to say, I think it was a banner season in the garden as it gave color from spring right through the summer and even still has some color currently. 

 

GPE #2 : Ms Nations is the kind of lunatic who makes jewellery* for her houseplants

 

F I R S T  N A T I O N S

 

 Less a couple of plants, this is what  my 'garden' looks like these days - all indoors.  I like the cascading type as you can see.

 

If you look closely you might see a couple of spots of color dotted around that don't seem very planty...

 

GPE #1 : Ms Scarlet's "is large and somewhat messy"

 [This is not Ms Scarlet.  This is Barney her canine companion]

 

M s  S C A R L E T

 My garden saw some new additions in 2025, namely a higher fence, and a larger dog. There were also some plant purchases, which included an apple tree in early Spring, and some Asters, which gave some much needed colour in early autumn. There was also something that had orange flowers - dead common, grows in hedgerows, and just about everywhere else, but I can't remember what it's called. We bought it in the hope that it would see off the ground elder. 

 The big pink bush did its thing in late spring - not as vibrant as last year, but still in the pink. 2025 was a good year for the Hawthorn tree, but not as good as 2023. 

 

[Snowdrops in January - IDV]

The Infomaniac Garden Photos Event 2025

 Welcome to the 15th annual I N F O M A N I A C  GARDEN PHOTOS EVENT, and the 6th to be hosted here at Inexplicable Device! 

  

 Thank you to everyone who sent in photos - and to those of you who haven't yet got around to it but will do soon.  And certainly by Tuesday the 4th!  Without you  - even the slackers and lallygaggers (whom do not include Savvy this year as she got her photos in BEFORE the original deadline!!) - there would be no Garden Photos Event.

 

 As of this writing, there are 11 sets of your garden and/or pot plant photographs waiting in the wings to be published throughout November.  

 Unfortunately, The Very Mistress herself is not taking part this year - in her words: "I have nothing" - so I have included this sunflower from the gardens of Hexenhäusli Device in honour of her 2020 contribution.  

 And also, in the continued absence of the Infomaniac Duck (and last year's stand ins, the Hexenhäusli Device Dove & Jackdaw), may I present our special guests, the Canberran Cockatoo & Magpie:

 

 

 Some of you may recognise the above pair from another blog, Elephant's Child, run by Dinahmow's friend Sue.  Sadly, Sue lost her battle with cancer at the end of September, so Dinah asked if we could feature her garden as she left it - bright, colourful, and full of the joys of spring.  Of course I agreed, so you'll be able to see Sue's spring bulbs and other blooms about midway through the Event (garden #5).

 

 So, what else is coming up? 

GPE 2025 : Terrifying Triffidery

 

 Ah, here you all are - Welcome to the 6th annual Terrifying Triffidery extravaganza!

 

 Gathered here for your bewilderment and horror are some of the finest specimens of triffidery from across the globe.  And possibly from other globes, too.

 As always, the Bloggerati who supplied them did not see fit to provide any labels so it is up to you to identify these menacing monstrosities and from whom they originated.  The originators are listed on the poster above and, to make things a little more complicated, some of them supplied more than one triffid.  Good luck!

 

 A word of warning: Some of the specimens are mobile or have prehensile tendrils, so do keep your distance from the enclosures as you go by, and be sure to strap yourselves in. 

 The Hexenhäusli Device woodsman is on hand to ensure your safety and provide a demonstration of how to secure your extremities should you need it. 

 (I have personally gone through this with him several times - for certification purposes, of course - and still find myself somewhat breathless such was his enthusiasm and vigour!)  

 

  Oh, and please note: The Management cannot be held responsible for loss of limbs/head/life, and We hope you all manage to get through the tour relatively unscathed.  Or at least manage to Stay Alive...

 

 

 Yes, we watched Romy and Michele's High School Reunion the other day.  I love their dance routine to N-Trance's version of "Stayin' Alive" which is why I've featured it here!

 In fact, I've picked another Hallowe'en-adjacent song from Romy and Michele for later in this post.

 

Here's the full track for those who are interested:

 

WARNING! WARNING! This is Your Garden Photos Event Final Reminder

 Yes, in just over a week's time, on 31st October, the Terrifying Triffids will be released heralding the 15th annual

 

I N F O M A N I A C

GARDEN PHOTOS EVENT

 

 I hope you've all been taking photos of how your expansive grounds | bijou courtyard | overgrown wilderness | rampant houseplants | tasteful city garden | impenetrable jungle | potted paradise [delete as applicable] has grown over the year, as I'll want your carefully curated selections - along with terse or verbose captions - in my in-box by Wednesday 29th October, please.* 

 And remember also to include a photo or two of a particularly spooky plant in your collection - or, failing that, a rather more mundane plant which has been snapped at an odd angle/close-up/while drunk - to join the rest of the Terrifying Triffidery on Hallowe'en.

 This blog's gmail address for sending your photos & captions into is in my profile on top of the Sideboard over there.  Or, if you have the Host's personal hotmail address, you can use that instead.

 

☙❧

 

 For anyone new to this/with only a few houseplants/concerned about your gardening abilities (etc.) who may be wondering if you can take part: Yes, you can!

 As you can see by looking back through previous Garden Photos Events (see my handy GPE Page) pretty much anything goes - and the more the merrier!  You don't have to provide dozens of photos - one or two will be fine - and there'll be no judging or negative critique.  After all, in the exasperated tone of the GPE originator herself, The Very Mistress: 

 

May I remind you that the Garden Photos Event is NOT a competition!

 

 If you have any questions, thoughts, or ideas about the GPE, please sound off in the comments.

 

 

☙❧

 

 * But, because I am a soft touch, as long as some of you send in your photos by then, the rest of you lallygaggers can have a bit longer.  But not much longer, mind!  I have things to do, and I don't want to be curating photos all the way through November.  (I'll leave it up to you to decide who's going to be in my good books by getting their photos in on time, and who will earn under-my-breath mutterings and a spectacular eye roll come 30th October.  Or later.  Almost certainly later.)

 

 (As of this writing, we've received Triffid photos from five of you, and garden - indoor and out - photos from three of you lovely Bloggerati.  The rest of you - get your skates on!)

  

See you and your triffids - good or evil - next week!

Not The Infomaniac Garden Photos Event

 Yes, that's right, this is NOT the Infomaniac Garden Photos Event.  Because, as you all know, the GPE doesn't begin until the end of this month - Hallowe'en, in fact.

 It is, however, a reminder to most of you - and a wake-up call to one or two - that I'll need your garden photos by Wednesday 29th October if you'd like to take part.  Your Terrifying Triffidery photo/s MUST be submitted by the 29th so that I have time to put them together for the Hallowe'en post.  I may allow a little leeway for the main event photos because I'm a soft touch - BUT NOT TOO MUCH!

 More on that at the end of this post, but for now, here are some photos from Thursday's visit to the Old Vicarage Gardens at East Ruston: 

(In the vicinity of the) Winter Garden #1

 

(In the vicinity of the) Winter Garden #2

Saturday Sunrise: No Cormorants Edition

 I don't think we've published any sunrise photos since December 2023?  Oh, no, wait.  There were some a few days later at the beginning of January 2024. 

 Anyway, as I woke up early this morning- 

 Although, not very early.  It was about ten past six.

 That's still quite early.  Maybe not as early as Ms Scarlet, but much earlier than Jon, I suspect.  Anyway, I was up early and the sky was relatively clear-

 Unlike now - overcast and dull.

 Anyway... I decided to pop down to the seafront to get some photos of the sunrise without Witchface or Bitey (who wished to remain in bed).  

 And, aside from the one on the right, here they are almost in order of appearance:

 

#1 Too early even for the sun.

Tunes on Thursday: You didn't notice my new leather catsuit, did you?

 I'll warn you now, this is a bit of a big one.  I started this post last week, but forgot to enable the auto-publish for Tuesday just gone.  And of course, since then, I've listened to more music, both new and old, so the list has grown.

  

 From old to new (but not in strict chronological order):

 

Shakespear's Sister - You Made Me Come To This

Best served in the car turned up to 11 so that anyone who can hear you screeching along to it just thinks you're Siobhan!

Donna Summer - State of Independence

Jon and Vangelis - State of Independence

I included this because I've only recently discovered that this is the original version.  I prefer Donna Summer's though.

 

 

Toto - Africa

Heard at the swimming pool this morning while I was gayzing at My Lifeguard 😍.

 

 

Tina Turner - We Don't Need Another Hero

Dubstar - I Can See You Outside

Sophie Ellis-Bextor - Stay On Me

White Lies - Keep Up

My favourite glum, beardy, miseryguts is back!

 

 

Haute & Freddy - Anti-Superstar

Haute & Freddy - Shy Girl

Thank you, Jon, for sharing your discovery of Haute & Freddy!

 

 And to play out - because I watched the film again last Thursday night - 

Monsters Theme by Jon Hopkins:

 

Filling gaps and softening edges

 Here are some photos from the garden today.  I had intended to go through the garden photos I've taken throughout the year and select some for the upcoming Garden Photos Event-

 From the beginning of November, people!  We hope you've been snapping away at your green stuff?!

 Anyway, as I was saying, I'd started to select some photos for the GPE, but nieces descended upon us, so that went out the window leaving us with just enough time to slap together this post of a few hastily taken photos of our tired, end-of-season greenery.

 There's not much in the way of colour, but there are a few splashes here and there, like the pale purple (mauve?) scabious and yellow geum above.