That little git, Beaky, has almost had my eye out!
I was, minding my own business in the garden, potting on some philadelphus and moving my agaves across the paysho. I turned around, crouched to pick up another pot, then stood up with it, only to find a sharp yellow beak with four ounces of blackbird attached to it hurtling towards my face.
I ducked just in time, as Beaky didn't make any attempt to swerve. I dropped the pot which smashed onto the paysho, feeling the breeze from his passing ruffle my hair. As he zoomed off, Beaky let fly with his piercing expletive-laden call, probably with a smug look on his evil little face.
When I get my hands on the little bastard, I'm going to have him stuffed and use him as a toilet-roll holder!