Saturday, 11 May 2019

Exasperated by Equine Escapades

 Le sigh...  I knew it was too good to last.  Having not had one for a while, since the end of April I've been irked by a recent spate of "One Of Those Days"...

Thursday 25th April 09:30 - I got soaked while freeing some hippocampi (aka white horses) trapped in the revetments on Overstrand beach.

Saturday 27th April 10:02 - In the presence of my nieces, my big gobbed distant cousin, Svaathor da Vjis, blurted out that his nephew's daughter, Calreed, had a unicorn at her recent birthday party.  So, guess who had to arrange for The Little Witch and Vom Smallhausen to have one at their party. The. Very. Next. Day!  (I should have kept that one I found lurking in my shed a few years back)
 Still, it wasn't all that bad, as it gave me an excuse to meet up with the exceedingly hot Gathiir (the Ipotane nephew of Svaathor), to find out where he managed to acquire a unicorn. 

Sunday 28th April 15:24 - After The Little Witch and Vom Smallhausen's party, I found myself walking down Overstrand High Street with the unicorn in tow, taking it back to the pick-up point at the Nightship stop.
 I was so embarassed.  It kept farting rainbows.

Tuesday 7th May 19:01 - Getting out of Car as I parked up outside the DeVice Mansion, I was unceremoniously kicked in the back of my head by a pegasus as it came in for a landing.  Luckily, it was only a glancing blow, but I still saw stars.  It had been sent by Svaathor to drop off Camera that I'd inadvertantly left at his place the evening before.

This morning 05:29 - Woken up far too early by the wind whistling through the horn of an errant Shâd'havâr.  Quite what it was doing on the lawn under my bedroom window, I don't know.  Luckily, that cock pheasant took a disliking to it, and chased it off down the road, leaving me to return to the land of nod for another hour or so.


More far-fetched phenomena can be found here:

Wanton for Well-Built Warlocks
Maddened by Mischievous Monsters
Harried by Hair-Raising Hunks
Persecuted by Preposterous Pests
A Sequence of Unpalatable Events


  1. You have a crush???
    Meanwhile, count yourself lucky you only had to endure a unicorn fart, and not doggy farts FIRST thing in the morning.

    1. Only a small one. Enough for a grape*

      I remember the stomach heaving horror of early morning doggy farts. As embarassing as unicorn farts are, at least they don't smell hideous (sort of like turkish delight with a waft of tangerine).

      * Is that too obscure?

    2. I read "grape" as "grope." Sorry.

    3. Oh, don't be sorry. I wouldn't put it past one of the SubCs in a moment of weakness...

  2. Replies
    1. Why am I not surprised? Still, that's the Little Witch's Christmas present sorted!

  3. Bothered by unicorns, maybe this will help?

    1. Excellent! I clicked the "Look Inside" thingy and was pleased to discover that nothing goes to waste - there's even a recipe to make edible glue from their hooves. And the glue is used to make the horns for the "Magical Unicorn Horn Cupcakes"!!
      Oh, and my Unicorn name is Graceful Cloud Dream.

  4. I love the farting rainbows detail! Personally I fart fairy dust.

  5. 05:29 is "too early" ?! Goodness ...

    1. Well, 5:30 is work-day wwaking up time. At weekends, I have been known to linger in bed until 7:30!


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