Thursday, 2 April 2015

Harried by Hair-Raising Hunks

This is shaping up to be another one of those weeks...

 Sunday, late afternoon - I was on my way home astride Broom when I remembered that I needed some frogspawn for a spell I'm working on. Surprising myself somewhat, I made a rather elegant landing in a little copse on the edge of the large pond between the road and the old railway line. Luckily, I had an empty Tupperware container in my bag (I'd just dropped a cake off at a friend's) that I could collect the spawn in. Imagine my surprise at finding a merman basking in the last rays of afternoon sun!

 Turned out that he was more surprised than I was; as he flipped off the fallen tree trunk he was reclined on and plopped into the depths of the pond. Needless to say, the splashback drenched me in cold water and, ironically, the frogspawn I'd stopped to gather.

 Tuesday, 18:12 (no cannons going off, thankfully) - Driving past Northrepps Aerodrome on my way home from work, I was unwrapping a Fox's Glacier Fruit (and therefore not taking much notice of the road), when Car suddenly slammed on the brakes and swerved! The Glacier Fruit went flying into the windscreen as I looked up in shock. We'd narrowly avoided a very low flying warlock coming in to land.
 I watched, shaking my head, as the obviously enebriated young man banked to the right, pulled up his hoe to narrowly clear the hedge, before tumbling into the field beyond. I was half out of Car to see if he was ok, wrinkling my nose at the lingering absinthe fumes left in the young warlock's wake, when I heard laughter and shouts of "Dude!" and "Bro!" from his boorish coven. Recognising one of the approaching 'bros' as my eye-candy, I treated myself to a lingering leer stare at his impressive abs and pecs - on show between the open zipper of his grey hoodie - before getting back in Car and driving off.
 Bloody hooligans!  

  And Today, just now - I'd opened the wardrobe to hang some clean clothes only to discover an errant Norse god trying on a pair of my jeans!

 I may be some time...



  1. Are you quite sure that after the rude interruption to his "quiet time alone" you weren't swamped by Merspawn... I'd check the tupperware for tadpoles if I were you...
    Pissed Warlocks are the worst kind I'm sad to say... They seem to have a bit of trouble keeping a firm wand...
    And as for errant Norse gods rummaging through your draws...
    You may well end up feeling a little thor...

    What an exciting week you have endured!

    Mine's been quite booring in comparison...
    Although... I am off to the seaside for Easter.
    It's been about 10 years since I was last sprayed with salty fluid... I've almost forgotten what it tastes like.

  2. Bwah hah hah haa! Princess, you are the Queen of Innuendo!

    Enjoy your trip to the seaside, and remember to take some wet wipes!

  3. Don't you just hate it when that happens!

  4. Well, Sunday and Tuesday were quite annoying, but Today's shaping up quite nicely, Roses!

  5. put an airbag on that broom, pronto.

  6. Norma: Broom's so old that the only airbag compatible would probably be one I had to blow up myself!

  7. Then put a blow up Norse God on the broom instead!
    I have.

  8. But then I'll be forever crashing, Ms Scarlet.

    Oh, well... ;)

  9. Who knew the,life of a warlock was so filled with mishaps. Except the merman. You should have given him legs!!! Those merfolk are ever so wily

  10. LX: Will I have to grow the moustache, too?

    Or are you insinuating that I'd be the ancient thing in the lifejacket?!

    Maddie: Which is why they're not allowed legs. Can you imagine a world in which warlocks and belegged mermen team up?

    Hey! Stop imagining it!


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