Saturday, 13 June 2015

Maddened by Mischievous Monsters

 Sigh... I shall be glad when this week's over. Yes, it has been one of those again.

Shug Monkey warning via Nuclear Summer
 Monday, 07:28 - I was very surprised to see a Shug Monkey hanging around the entrance to Norwich bus station as I walked past on my way to work. I imagine it must have got on a bus from Cambridge to end up here in Norfolk? Anyway, I studiously ignored it. After all, I didn't want it following me to work and causing all manner of chaos and shitting under my desk.  

 Wednesday, 07:56 - Inexcuseable came crashing back indoors after having left to go to work, yelling at me to "get it out of Car" (she tends to treat Car as her own on the days when I don't work). Normally, she only gets like this when there's a spider (massive or otherwise) in her vicinity, so I sighed and went outside asking her where "it" was. In the glovebox, it turns out. I opened the glovebox and let out a rather Ned Flanders-alike shriek. There was a bloody gremlin in the glovebox stuffing its face with my new packet of Fox's Glacier Fruits! Needless to say, it didn't remain in Car for very much longer. A deftly woven spell sent it flying over the treetops to the Cromer KartTrak - Let them deal with it. And, yes, I also checked Car for any errant William Shatners

 Thursday, afternoon - It seems even The Parents aren't immune to the annoyances from supernatural entities. I popped round to do some gardening and The Mother regaled me with an event as witnessed by one of their neighbours. It seems the neighbour in question was returning home from walking her dog when she noticed a disturbance in The Parents' pond. She watched, rather stunned (unsurprisingly), as a hippocampus rose out of the pond shaking pondweed and tadpoles out of its mane before tottering off down the road on its two horse legs.   

A Bonsai'd Triffid?
 Today, just now - I've just come inside from doing a spot of gardening as I was practically accosted by a triffid! The bloody thing loomed out of the cottage garden border as I was digging up some forget-me-not seedlings for Indescribable. Luckily, it wasn't fully grown otherwise it could have had my eye out. Rather than have it terrorising the neighbourhood, I trapped it in a heavy clay plant-pot and shut it in the greenhouse. And if it doesn't behave, I'll bonsai it!


  1. " I was practically accosted by a triffid" I can't TELL YOU how many times this almost happens to me in a DAY! So tiring it is. Sounds like you had a long hard week as well. I'm just glad it's over...fortunate for me, I have a two week holiday, what could possibly go wrong? Now.... I know I'm still sort of a virgin here, GOD how long has it been since I said that? Anyway....who are Inexcuseable and Indescribable? I have seen you now mention several times. Are they house help?

  2. LX: I wish these weren't the droids- I mean, monsters I was looking for.

    Mistress Maddie: I know! having moist ejecta flung in one's face can get quite tiring after a while. I look forward to hearing how you fare in your two weeks off.

    Ah, yes, Inexcuseable and Indescribable, AKA The Sisters! I think this post will probably tell you all you need to know about them (and this one gives a glimpse into our childhood), although clicking the 'Relativity' label/tag will also bring up other mentions. Oh, and just in case you were wondering: Babyzilla is the monstrous progeny of Indescribable.

  3. I think some kind of demon has accessed your blog settings as well. I read the full version of your post in my reader. Damn tamponers, they get everywhere.

  4. Ah. That might be my fault, Ms Scarlet. I forgot to put a jump break in when I first published it. Once I realised, I went back and added it, so may be that's why it shows up in full on Feedly etc?

  5. Ah, yes, that's probably it!

  6. you know, sweetpea, sometimes after reading your posts i am truly terrified about venturing out into my back garden! *shiver* xooxxo


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