I was driving home from work yesterday, wondering whether I could be bothered to wash Car after I'd had tea, when the thought of Eros' bird shit-covered car popped into my head. Then I wondered what kind of car Eros drives. Which led me to wonder what cars the rest of you drive. If you drive, that is?
Aside from her cavalcade of Mistress Mobiles, we know The Very Mistress gets around upon some sort of velocipede:
And while Ms Scarlet is partial to a flying bath mat (of the octopus sucker variety), Mago ferries a van load of children around the Franconian towns and countryside, Norma gets chauffeured around in Ruth Buzzi's Lincoln Continental, and LẌ enjoys a spin in the Space Shuttle now and again, what method of terrestrial transportation do they avail themselves of when not flying to George Clooney's Lake Como retreat/working/avoiding flying saucers/visiting Princess?
As we haven't had a good Q & A session for an age, and if you're feeling rather forthcoming, here are some other questions to consider:
✧ How long have you had your current car, or other mode of transportation?
✧ How often do you wash it? And do you wash it yourself, or get those insouciant young Bulgarian youths down at the local car wash to do it?
✧ Does your car (or whatever) have any little peculiarities or foibles that you love or loathe? If so, what?
✧ If money (and taste) was no object, what car etc. would you buy?
✧ What's your favourite sing-a-long song/s while driving?
✧ Have you been excited to discover that your car (same make & model) has featured in a film or TV show? If so, which one/s?
✧ What's the weirdest thing you've done with/in your car?
I suppose I can't expect you to answer these questions if I don't, so here are my answers:
 |
| A frosty Car outside Inexcuseable's in November 2016 |
✣ Car gets washed by me every few months. I'd like to wash it more often, but I'm too lazy and I don't want anyone else touching it! Unlike Mistress Maddie who'll let anyone touch hers...
✣ Despite being Italian, Car hasn't really displayed a temperamental side. It does like to flash its brake fluid light at me if I dare to pull on the handbrake at anything less than a perfectly level surface with absolutely zero momentum or movement (even a slight gust of wind will trigger the damned thing). I love Car's sculpted beauty, its asymmetric front number plate and hidden rear door handles.
✣ I'm not a fan of very expensive supercars, or overly plush luxo-barges, so no Lamborghinis or Rolls Royces for me. I'd possibly stretch to a Maserati Quattroporte, but I'd be happy with a new Volvo V90 (or the upcoming V60) with the spare money used giving Car a complete overhaul.
✣ My most played CD while driving has to be Erasure's self titled 1995 album, and I'll sing along to every track. Again and again and again! My favourites being tracks 10 and 11 - "I Love You" and "A Long Goodbye".
✣ I was most surprised to discover that the protagonist, Miyamoto, from the Japanese sci-fi film Returner drives a silver Alfa 156. It's only seen at the start of the film though - I guess the film makers didn't want it to overshadow the transforming Boeing 747 at the end...?
✣ The weirdest thing? Probably taken Margaret 2.0 shopping...
::
The rest of this post has been languishing in my drafts since at least August 2016. I've been meaning to update and publish it, but just can't be bothered, so I thought I'd tag it on the end here rather than just delete it:
Before I get to the furnishings of Calvin's house (as alluded to in the last post), I just want to expand upon something LẌ and I touched upon here, and here: Cars!
Just like with food and men, I'm also very finicky with cars. Should the day ever come when Car gives up the ghost and I have to choose a new mode of motorised four-wheeled transport, this is my current shortlist of affordable cars that I would be caught dead in:
Alfa Romeo GT - Yes, I've already had one of these, but I loved it so much that I'd snap another up!
Gitface (GT) and Car (156)
Alfa Romeo 159 - There's a man in North Walsham who has a gorgeous red saloon (sedan) with chrome mirrors and detailing that I covet, despite the 159 being bigger, heavier, and more complicated than my current 156.
Alfa Romeo Brera - Basically, a coupé version of the 159 (just as the GT is a coupé version of the 156). It's a little too brutal in its beauty for me usually, but I'm sure I could get used to it.
Citroen C6 - Oh, the C6 was so close to being the DS for the 21st century.
A C6 much like this appeared in
one of our Hallowe'en sagas here.
Citroen CX - I do love these (now retro) futuristic big Citroens.
Citroen DS - Space-Age beauty!
Renault Aventime - Another big French car. This time a chunky coupé.
Rover 75 - The last quintessentially British big car. Yes, Jaguar Land Rover are making some outstanding cars these days, but the Rover 75 takes the biscuit for me.
Honda Prelude (4th gen) - I'm a sucker for that eagle-face.
Vauxhall Calibra - I always loved the sleek lines of the Calibra. When I was with George, I was considering getting a pale metallic blue one with cream leather to replace my Nissan Sunny coupe.
Volvo S60 (1st gen) - With a refinement to the design language introduced with the S80, the S60 was a slick saloon I could see myself in.
I think only the Citroens and the Renault have room for a fainting chassis...
::
That's pretty much it for this post. Except that the post title is how my grandma, The Mother's Mother, always answered my question "can you drive?" when I was very young. I never understood why she couldn't drive in a straight line...
Oh, and I'm looking forward to seeing your answers.
Here. I'll sign off with some car-related music:
Back in the day, circa 1988, I was chauffeured around in a Volvo 480. Such a comfortable car with bucket seats and pop up headlights. Loved that car.... it must have been one of the first to tell you how much petrol was left, and the temperature outside. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteI'd like one of those little retro Figaro's now, but on my driveway is some old Peugeot and a Landrover Defender ( for the mud ).
Sx
Oh, I'm envious - I always liked a Volvo 480, but they were too expensive for me at the time.
DeleteA Defender seems eminently practical for Devon's mud. And I'm imagining the "old Peugeot" to be a 504 estate, or possibly a 405 Mi16? And, you know, underneath a Figaro is a Nissan Micra...
You do have taste in motors, you know, but you're right not to wash an Alfa too much in case it falls apart (I'm not even being bitchy, you are genuinely the only person I know who's had one so long!).
ReplyDeleteFor daily commuting I drive one of these:
https://stevemckelvie.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/img_8921.jpg
I bought it new in 1937 and it's given no trouble since.
For longer journeys I have one of these:
https://secure.i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02680/Volvo-P1800-1_2680174c.jpg
And I can recommend a Volvo lol.
Actually I walk or get the train!
You're right in that Alfa's do have a once deserved reputation for rusting apart at the mere mention of rain, but since the 90s they've been practically rust-free (made with galvanised steel and the like) so it's only their Italian electrics that one needs to be concerned about now! I've been lucky, so far, with Car in that the electrical problems have only been relatively minor.
DeleteYour commuting car is looking fantastic for its age. You bought it new, did you say? Oil of Ulay is really working for you.
Olay!!! And I am not saying this in a Spainish way. I am not prancing around in a multi coloured frilly blouson aka Jeremy Clarkson. No, I am only saying Olay because Ulay is no more, and hasn't been for possibly over ten years (I will check). Any stocks you have of Ulay is probably off.
DeleteSx
*Spanish
DeleteSx
* ducks to avoid getting a wayward castanet in the eye *
DeleteI thought my vat of Ulay was a bit thick (can't speak for Hound's, of course). It's nice on toast, though...
My huge supply ran out and now I slather Preparation H on both my face and the car!
DeleteNo wonder you both look so taut!
DeleteBest kept away from the scrotum though!
DeleteAre you speaking from experience?
DeleteOh dear...all those numbers and letters. It's too much for a non-car person like moi.
ReplyDeleteBut, the short answer: my daily drive is a Toyota Camry s/w whose back seats are only lifted if we have passengers.(That's when I find the stuff I'd lost!)
The Man also drives this car, but once he's finished restoring his Ford Mustang '73 Mach 1, that will be his drive of choice.
The Camry is , I think, a 1999 model.
If I lived in England I'd probably opt for a European car, like a BMW. They are available here, but cost a fortune and, for serious servicing, I'm out in the sticks too far.Locally, they can change the oil and suchlike, but when friend's husband broke down the damn' thing had to go 400kms to be fixed.
Oh, yes, the Mustang! I remembered that he has an American sports/muscle car, but couldn't remember what sort. As for the Camry: spacious! Just right for carting loads of plants home from the garden centres/nurseries.
DeleteBMWs and the like are ten-a-penny over here (despite being expensive). Very boring and tedious. Plus, the majority seem to be wielded (they're certainly not "driven") by arrogant morons. How about a nice Volvo or Jaguar instead?
I don't really know what to suggest about broken down husbands, though? Oh. Hang on...
Um...friend's husband's *car.* Car broke down. Husband only had *his* breakdown after he got the bill!(He drives a Mercedes coupe now!)
ReplyDeleteOh, and I have been know to sing along if something like Carmina Burana's "O, fortuna" comes over the radio. Or maybe some of the Auvergne folk songs. Definitely Carmen's "Habanera" I can't sing, you see, so this is a safe option as no one can hear me!
Oh I'm so glad you said that because I too can now admit to singing along to opera, or rather humming along with my mouth open...
DeleteWe'd make a good support act.
DeleteAh, mobile opera. I have been known to indulge in a little Madam Butterfly.
DeleteI'm also good at making farting noises to accompany David Munros music.
ReplyDeleteWhat, him of the crumhorn and Voyager Golden Record fame?
DeleteYes that one. A favourite of my father's. We often listen to him together.
Delete
ReplyDelete✧ How long have you had your current car, or other mode of transportation?
Three years
✧ How often do you wash it? And do you wash it yourself, or get those insouciant young Bulgarian youths down at the local car wash to do it?
I do it even though it's officially hubbies car
✧ Does your car (or whatever) have any little peculiarities or foibles that you love or loathe? If so, what?
No
✧ If money (and taste) was no object, what car etc. would you buy?
One of those old Morris cars with wood trim
✧ What's your favourite sing-a-long song/s while driving?
Dancing queen
✧ Have you been excited to discover that your car (same make & model) has featured in a film or TV show? If so, which one/s?
No
✧ What's the weirdest thing you've done with/in your car?
Wanked my husband
Ah, one of those Morris Minor Travellers! I used to quite like those, but I'd imagine woodworm may be more of a concern than rust?
DeleteI'm curious: did the wanking occur while he was driving (a bit like the Steve Martin/Mary Steenburgen moment in Parenthood)?
I drive a very sensible 1997 Honda Accord, very dark gray except for the parts that have been scraped off. City driving takes its toll on the paint job around the edges,
ReplyDeleteA 97 Accord? Did you own it from new, or was it second hand?
DeleteThey were sold in the UK, but were also rebodied to become the Rover 600 - a surprisingly handsome and svelte car.
Ooh, nice!
DeleteHow long have you had your current car, or other mode of transportation? VW Golf in Tungsten March 19 this year prior to that I drove a VW Scirocco in white and prior to that an Audi A4 2.0 if that means anything to you, it was like driving a tank, prior to that a Toyota Auris Hybrid got rid after 3 months because it rattled. I like a change of car every 2 years.
ReplyDeleteHow often do you wash it? And do you wash it yourself, or get those insouciant young Bulgarian youths down at the local car wash to do it? Every time I go to Morrison's once a week, those Polish lads are very thorough.
What's your favourite sing-a-long song/s while driving? At the age of thirty-seven I realised I'd never ride through Paris in a sports car with the warm wind in my hair, but I have driven down the Blackpool strip in Carmen's mini convertible with The Harry J All Stars - The Liquidator blaring out.
A bit of spit and Polish at Morrison's - I never would have guessed?!
DeleteI'm sure that in the right light, Blackpool Strip could be favourably compared to Paris's Avenue des Champs-Élysées, although you'd probably have to turn the stereo down.
If I could have one car it would be a vintage white Citroen. They just reek of style and fun!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd let's just say I do my best work in a car...outside of the boudoir.
That famous Citroen suspension would prevent undue rocking so the only way passers by would know that something was "up" would be the steamy windows!
Delete✧ Car: 2012 Jeep Wrangler Sahara. Planning to replace with a 2018 or 2019 model.
ReplyDelete✧ Wash: No, never! Must maintain that je'ne sais quoi macho patina!
✧ Foible: A bit squirreley at freeway speed (70 mph+) in a crosswind due to high center of gravity and short wheelbase. I slow until stable.
✧ Dream second car: restored 1956 Chevrolet.
✧ Song: None in particular.
✧ Film/TV: Not noticed.
✧ Weird thing: Uh, no comment.
Ah, yes! I forgot you had a Jeep. I seem to recall seeing a bit of it in a photo you took of some deer (I think?). Lovely Chevvy!
DeletePerhaps you should ask "your friend" if they've had any weird goings on in a car?
P.S. Great word usage: "squirreley"!
DeleteI love the fascinating responses to this post. Awesome! And your post has inspired me to make a post of my own. My answers were too long to be posted here. So here is the summary:
ReplyDelete✧ How long have you had your current car, or other mode of transportation?
I have had my silver Honda CR-V for 14 years, too! I fell in love with this car the first time I saw it. Like you, I bought this car as a gift to myself, and I still love my car to this day. It was my first new car. The previous two were used, older models.
✧ How often do you wash it? And do you wash it yourself, or get those insouciant young Bulgarian youths down at the local car wash to do it?
Because of the damned birds, I wash my car at least once to twice a week. I park under a tree. Plus side: Nice shade from the hot, hellish sun. Minus side: Birds seek shade, too, in the tree, and they poop down on my car!
✧ Does your car (or whatever) have any little peculiarities or foibles that you love or loathe? If so, what?
My car comes with a foldup table that covers the trunk space floor. Under the floor is a space that doubles as storage or a cooler. Both are useful and popular at beach BBQs and cookouts.
✧ If money (and taste) was no object, what car etc. would you buy?
I'm practical. It'll be a Subaru Forester, also silver. It's the closest modern auto similar to my car, size wise and build. Also, they're great for outdoor adventures.
✧ What's your favourite sing-a-long song/s while driving?
Mostly dance/pop/hip hop music, top 40 hits, songs that make me want to dance or pump me up. Lately, I've been listening to a retro radio station that plays a lot of 90s and classic pop/dance/rock/hip hop songs. And I am shocked that the music I enjoy is now considered "Retro"!
✧ Have you been excited to discover that your car (same make & model) has featured in a film or TV show? If so, which one/s?
Not my car. But I do remember smiling when I saw an old VW van in a Woodstock film. My uncle had one, and it was the van that took us on fun beach trips when we were kids. And we always stopped for ice cream on the way back.
✧ What's the weirdest thing you've done with/in your car?
Made chili cheese dogs for dinner, fresh from the packages and cans. Hot dog buns, hot dogs, chili from a tin, and scrumptious processed cheese from a spray can. Some people may frown at the spray can cheese, but I think it's a genius and delicious invention!
It was raining, so no camp fire, and I didn't feel like starting a fire in the car. I was hungry, not stupid. So cold but delicious chili cheese dogs it was for dinner in a lovely, marvelous natural park. I had majestic mountains and magnificent river views, even in the early evening rain.
The rest of my reply has been turned into a post on my blog. Thanks for the inspiration!
A 2002-06 model CRV: the last of the lookers. All the later CRVs are hideous! In fact, all Hondas nowadays look like they've taken a beating from the ugly-stick-wielding Basil Fawlty. I used to love Hondas - Mr Peenee's Accord, the original and replacement CRX, the late 80s Accord Aerodeck, *whispers* the H(ip)R(eplacement)V(ehicle)...
DeleteWhile your in-car chili cheese dogs sound weird, the fact that it's you who made them is certainly not weird. I can easily imagine you concocting snacks in your car!
Thank you for inspiring me - this is the most popular post I've had in quite a while! I'd better be off to yours to read your expanded edition.
Oh GOd, do not start me. SOrry I am too tired to talk cars now.
ReplyDeleteIF I had the money for it I'd get meself a Citroen Traction Avant, preferably a 15/6. It needs a little tweaking, like rust protection. And those drive shafts should be replaced by improved things ; ideally a better brake system could be built in.
Another possibility is to go full german and have a re-built VW Käfer, preferably a 1303, with all the modern goodies like a two liter engine (circa 100 PS), disk brakes, oil cooler, and of course galvanized sheet metal. Memminger builts these, but they come at a cost - and in the end you have a thirtie's car that is a bit impractical. The Citroen would be better.
Oh, yes, a Traction Avant would be quite the talking point. Wasn't it the first car to have a monocoque body? And they seem to be pretty robust, too, by all accounts.
DeletePlus, a Traction Avant featured in "The Sound of Music"!
If you have a Citroën it simply must be a DS.
ReplyDeleteMistress Maddie would agree with you. As do I - if money were no object...
Delete