I was driving home from work yesterday, wondering whether I could be bothered to wash Car after I'd had tea, when the thought of Eros' bird shit-covered car popped into my head. Then I wondered what kind of car Eros drives. Which led me to wonder what cars the rest of you drive. If you drive, that is?
Aside from her cavalcade of Mistress Mobiles, we know The Very Mistress gets around upon some sort of velocipede:
And while Ms Scarlet is partial to a flying bath mat (of the octopus sucker variety), Mago ferries a van load of children around the Franconian towns and countryside, Norma gets chauffeured around in Ruth Buzzi's Lincoln Continental, and LẌ enjoys a spin in the Space Shuttle now and again, what method of terrestrial transportation do they avail themselves of when not flying to George Clooney's Lake Como retreat/working/avoiding flying saucers/visiting Princess?
As we haven't had a good Q & A session for an age, and if you're feeling rather forthcoming, here are some other questions to consider:
✧ How long have you had your current car, or other mode of transportation?
✧ How often do you wash it? And do you wash it yourself, or get those insouciant young Bulgarian youths down at the local car wash to do it?
✧ Does your car (or whatever) have any little peculiarities or foibles that you love or loathe? If so, what?
✧ If money (and taste) was no object, what car etc. would you buy?
✧ What's your favourite sing-a-long song/s while driving?
✧ Have you been excited to discover that your car (same make & model) has featured in a film or TV show? If so, which one/s?
✧ What's the weirdest thing you've done with/in your car?
I suppose I can't expect you to answer these questions if I don't, so here are my answers:
|A frosty Car outside Inexcuseable's in November 2016|
✣ Car gets washed by me every few months. I'd like to wash it more often, but I'm too lazy and I don't want anyone else touching it! Unlike Mistress Maddie who'll let anyone touch hers...
✣ Despite being Italian, Car hasn't really displayed a temperamental side. It does like to flash its brake fluid light at me if I dare to pull on the handbrake at anything less than a perfectly level surface with absolutely zero momentum or movement (even a slight gust of wind will trigger the damned thing). I love Car's sculpted beauty, its asymmetric front number plate and hidden rear door handles.
✣ I'm not a fan of very expensive supercars, or overly plush luxo-barges, so no Lamborghinis or Rolls Royces for me. I'd possibly stretch to a Maserati Quattroporte, but I'd be happy with a new Volvo V90 (or the upcoming V60) with the spare money used giving Car a complete overhaul.
✣ My most played CD while driving has to be Erasure's self titled 1995 album, and I'll sing along to every track. Again and again and again! My favourites being tracks 10 and 11 - "I Love You" and "A Long Goodbye".
✣ I was most surprised to discover that the protagonist, Miyamoto, from the Japanese sci-fi film Returner drives a silver Alfa 156. It's only seen at the start of the film though - I guess the film makers didn't want it to overshadow the transforming Boeing 747 at the end...?
✣ The weirdest thing? Probably taken Margaret 2.0 shopping...
The rest of this post has been languishing in my drafts since at least August 2016. I've been meaning to update and publish it, but just can't be bothered, so I thought I'd tag it on the end here rather than just delete it:
Before I get to the furnishings of Calvin's house (as alluded to in the last post), I just want to expand upon something LẌ and I touched upon here, and here: Cars!
Just like with food and men, I'm also very finicky with cars. Should the day ever come when Car gives up the ghost and I have to choose a new mode of motorised four-wheeled transport, this is my current shortlist of affordable cars that I would be caught dead in:
Alfa Romeo GT - Yes, I've already had one of these, but I loved it so much that I'd snap another up!
Gitface (GT) and Car (156)
Alfa Romeo 159 - There's a man in North Walsham who has a gorgeous red saloon (sedan) with chrome mirrors and detailing that I covet, despite the 159 being bigger, heavier, and more complicated than my current 156.
Alfa Romeo Brera - Basically, a coupé version of the 159 (just as the GT is a coupé version of the 156). It's a little too brutal in its beauty for me usually, but I'm sure I could get used to it.
Citroen C6 - Oh, the C6 was so close to being the DS for the 21st century.
A C6 much like this appeared in
one of our Hallowe'en sagas here.
Citroen CX - I do love these (now retro) futuristic big Citroens.
Citroen DS - Space-Age beauty!
Renault Aventime - Another big French car. This time a chunky coupé.
Rover 75 - The last quintessentially British big car. Yes, Jaguar Land Rover are making some outstanding cars these days, but the Rover 75 takes the biscuit for me.
Honda Prelude (4th gen) - I'm a sucker for that eagle-face.
Vauxhall Calibra - I always loved the sleek lines of the Calibra. When I was with George, I was considering getting a pale metallic blue one with cream leather to replace my Nissan Sunny coupe.
Volvo S60 (1st gen) - With a refinement to the design language introduced with the S80, the S60 was a slick saloon I could see myself in.
I think only the Citroens and the Renault have room for a fainting chassis...
That's pretty much it for this post. Except that the post title is how my grandma, The Mother's Mother, always answered my question "can you drive?" when I was very young. I never understood why she couldn't drive in a straight line...
Oh, and I'm looking forward to seeing your answers.
Here. I'll sign off with some car-related music: