Sounds of the Sea (and Swearing)

 

 "Please make more audios of the sea!!!" Ms Scarlet instructed in no uncertain terms.

 Your wish is my command! (I'm sorry about the birdsong.  I know you didn't request it, so I hope it doesn't detract from the sounds of the waves lapping gently at the shore.)

 

7:37 am, Overstrand beach.  Yes, that's Bitey having a paddle.

More First Flowers but the same Twatted Bee

My recent bearded iris purchase, "Black Tie Affair", put forth its first bloom on Wednesday.

 Every day this past week I've been going up to the allotment with Bitey.  Not to do any allotmenteering, but to check when the first foxglove flowered.  Tuesday was First Flowering Day, but not from the foxglove I thought it was going to be.  Before I get to that, here's a video from Wednesday's wander up there: 

 

This barn owl treated me to a flyby at about five-to-eight.  Bitey didn't seem interested, but I was thrilled to see it - and have time to whip my phone out and take this video!

"We're running out of clouds, staring at blue again"

 These photos might be from Saturday, but despite the imminent Bank Holiday weekend here in Blighty, the weather is set for more of the same (with the possible exception of this Saturday).  And with the added extra of warmth, if not actual heat!  Strange Things Happen:

 

 Thank you Alison Goldfrapp, for "We're running out of clouds, staring at blue again".  It's as if she knew. 

 And speaking of strange things happening: 

News From Norfolk: 

 

This is not just any animal rescue, this is an M&S animal rescue

 

Hillside Animal Sanctuary was called out to Marks & Spencer on Rampant Horse Street in Norwich after staff found a muntjac stuck within the glass barrier of a ground-floor escalator. 

 

[The whole story] 

CARNAGE... THE HORROR II

A sequel

 

The Garden Murderer has struck again.  This time on the beach!

 

 The morning started with a walk along the beach to Cromer with a couple of friends and their dogs, a black lab and a dobermann.  While the two other dogs were chasing a ball, Bitey veered off into the breaking waves where he somehow managed to bring down a MASSIVE sea gull that was taking off!

 He immediately ran off with it leading us on a merry chase.  It took the three of us to corner him so I could grab him and wrest the dying bird from his jaws of death.  Although there was no blood, the scene was harrowing.

 

 The murderer is currently stretched out on my bed probably dreaming of his prowess.

 

 The little git.

Of First Flowers and Twatted Bees

 Around midday on Saturday, I was happily perched in a paysho chair surveying the garden when movement from the lawn got my undivided attention.  It was Bitey, obviously.  But rather than digging a hole, or having a mad turn, he was industrially twatting something in the grass.  I leapt up and rushed over. 

 A bee!  Bitey was twatting a bumblebee!  I scooped it up and returned to my chair.  Fortunately, it didn't seem injured although one of it's wings was sticking out a little.  Still, it crawled around and buzzed a few times, so I got up and encouraged it to disembark my thumb onto one of the Echiums where it guzzled down nectar like nobody's business!

 

Anyway, back to me

 Yes, it's back to the normal content and sporadic posting now that I've finished my self-inflicted stand-in daily blogging for Jon (who should be back off his sunny, Spanish holiday today).  I didn't have plans to post anything this soon, but an impromptu walk with Bitey yesterday evening left me with a load of photos to do something with (and a couple from the prom this morning, above), so here they are.

 

 On the right, my bearded irises are about to burst into flower.  Below, a tantalising glimpse of cherries to come up at the allotment.  They will all be devoured by Beaky and his gluttonous family before I get a look in, of course.

"You can blame it on a tangerine dream"

Up at Allotment Device the bees are loving the comfrey.  [click to embiggen]

In the extensive gardens here at Hexenhäusli Device, the lawn has been mowed, a multitude of potting on and repotting has been done (although there is still more to do), I've picked yet more duckweed out of the pond lake, and the echiums, clematis, geums, marigolds, and azaleas are in bloom.  I've even managed to have a sit down in The Gardener's Retreat wth a G&T!  

To add to the uplifting mood, I'm counting down to the end of a particularly gruelling blogging week - and tomorrow Jon (& Madam A) should be back from his much-needed holiday leaving my work as his ill thought through, last minute stand-in, done!

 

Let's have something suitably gin-addled and sparkly to get the celebrations going, shall we - and who could be more appropriate than Luke Steele and Nick Littlemore of Empire of the Sun?!

[For more Empire of the Sun, please click here]

 

Have a great weekend, dear reader!  We intend to.

 

---

Note: Post wording and layout liberally yoinked from Jon's most recent Friday post.

Of Tiny Treehouses, Triffid Trees, Sparkling Seas, Bluebells & Biteys, and a German vs Sun Loungers

It's another snippets post, dear reader (but this one's almost all about me!):

• 
  At the end of April, I finally got around to making this Forest Cottage, a Tiny Treehouse kit that Inexcuseable got me for my birthday.  It was one of the more fiddly kits and took me several hours - on and off - to complete.  Well, I say complete, I have one piece left over - I just hope it isn't structural!

• 
  This is my favourite tree in Norwich - or at least the bits of Norwich I walk through on my way to work.  However, I don't know what type of tree it is, so perhaps one of you, dear readers, can enlighten me?

• 
  My giant vipers buglosses (Echiums) started to flower on the last day of April - you should be able to make out a couple of the pale purple/blue flower buds in the close-up.  There are loads of flowers on them now - I'll be posting more photos soon.

• 
  Saturday morning's walk with Bitey found us walking along the promenade and over the base of the cliff (because the tide was right in) to the east beach.  Or the narrow strip between the revetments and cliffs.  I tried to get Bitey to strike some poses on the steps over the revetment, and eventually (after looking at me like I was losing my mind), he managed one. 

• 
  Bluebells blooming in The Gardener's Retreat behind the garage.

• 
  Oh, Bitey. What have you got?

Don't worry, this is not Raspberry.  It is Raspberry's 'friend' though.  He died quickly.

 

• And finally: Although Mr Mago is currently on holiday, I don't think this German tourist is him.  He doesn't strike me as one for sun loungers, anyway.

 

 And the weather?  Blue skies abound!  For now, anyway...

"We're gonna sing it, anyway"

 Sharing the day with another panoply of names including Karl Marx, Sylvia Pankhurst, Lance Henriksen, Tammy Wynette, Marc Alaimo, Michael Palin, John Rhys-Davies, Richard E. Grant, Simon Rimmer, Dieter Brummer, Santiago Cabrera, Craig David, Henry Cavill, Adele and - erm - Maggie MacNeal...

 

 ... it's Star Trek: Strange New Worlds' "birthday" today.  "Oh, gods..." I hear you sigh...

 

 Strange New Worlds is the eleventh Star Trek spin-off series and a prequel to the original 1960s series.  It stars Anson Mount as Captain Christopher Pike (the USS Enterprise's second captain and the first to be filmed in the original pilot "The Cage"), Rebecca Romijn as Una Chin-Riley (Number One), and Ethan Peck as Spock.

 Amongst the many themed episodes is "Subspace Rhapsody", a musical from season two, and here is the finale "We Are One":

 

 (If you think this is weird, season four - out this summer - has a Muppet episode!) 

"Maybe I’ll be able to get these cloven hoofs in Louboutins again"

THE Devil is flattered you imagine he can still afford designer clothing in this economy, but says you are sadly mistaken. 

 

The decline of Hell as a major financial power means the original Prince of Darkness no longer sports an expensive wardrobe, mostly turning to Primark or H&M for his essentials.

 

He sighed: “You have to remember, the last film came out in 2006, pre-credit crunch. I was no sooner getting my infernal paycheck than I was blowing it all on Chanel and Louis Vuitton. The film’s title was entirely accurate.

 

“But two decades of economic turmoil later on? After austerity, Brexit, Trump, bloody Covid? My days of swinging by Alexander McQueen are long gone. It’s all I can do to keep myself shod.

 

“We’re all tightening our belts, even in the abyss. I’ve had to take a pay cut to keep the demonic horde happy. I can’t be swanning into meetings in box-fresh Balenciaga. It’s Matalan, Shoe Zone and Sports Direct, which has multiple branches down here.

 

 “But the upcoming death toll we’re forecasting for humanity’s Q4 will really boost our turnover and I’m hoping to attract the big names to set up down here. Then maybe I’ll be able to get these cloven hoofs in Louboutins again.

 

“For now? I’m in Primark underpants. Honestly, I’ve had thicker and more durable loo roll.”

 

The Daily Mash

 

Of course. 

"I wanna do things but don't know where to start"

 

 Another weekend over, just like that!  [ s n a p s   f i n g e r s   i n e f f e c t u a l l y ]

 

 Except...  It's Bank Holiday Monday here in the UK, so work can wait another day!  However, it's a bit of a grim start weatherwise - cool, misty, and overcast (we might get some sunshine this evening) - so there won't be much going on in the garden.  Fortunately there are plenty of indoor jobs to do. 

 Or, at least, a new book to flick through (The Art of Star Trek Lower Decks) and a Tiny Treehouse to make.

 

 Anyway, I think it's supposed to be a Tacky Music Monday at Jon's, but I just can't think of anything suitable.  So instead I've taken a leaf out of Mago's book - or blog - and gone with something more akin to what might be found in his regular Sunday Music (on Monday) posts instead.  (Well, there's some sort of stringed instrument being strummed so it's close enough.)

 Have a good week, dear reader.

Where The Hells is the Holiday Rota?!?

The blogging holiday rota - last seen here.

 

 Who let Jon go on holiday without sorting out the blogging rota first??  Mago and Maddie too, for that matter.  In fact, where is the rota?  Did it get updated?  Who's down for today? 

 

[ s i l e n c e ] 

 

 Is it me?  It's me, isn't it.  Drat.

 

 Hang on a mo...

 

[ s o u n d s   o f   p a n i c k e d   b l o g   c o p y i n g ]

 

 Ahem.   We had hazy sunshine all day, but that didn't stop us getting out there to complete a few more tasks in the extensive gardens allotment here at Dolores Delargo Towers in the vicinity of Hexenhäusli Device - mainly weeding and strimming the grass paths.  Oh, and making sure Bitey didn't bite the strimmer or dig too deep a hole...

  

EDIT 06:46 04/05/2026: Meanwhile... The bastard gnomes at Google/Blogger are still playing silly buggers. I published this post at around half past five yesterday. It remains in Limbo, as far as the Blogger Reading List is concerned as it's not showing up on any of your Sideboards.

 

WTF leads these creatures to think that this sort of delay is acceptable is beyond me! Yet another blogging annoyance... Sigh.

 

 Never mind, eh?  Here's something soothing from perennial House faves, Robbie Williams and the Pet Shop Boys singing about another House fave, Our Glorious Leader, to ease our troubled souls...

 

 Ah, that's better...

---

STOP PRESS:

I don't know when - or even if - you will actually see this, dear reader, what with the Google Blogger feed delays.  However, please note that there will be daily posts here until Jon returns (all being well, of course).  I hate the Google gnomes.

Four Photos: On My Way To Work I Saw...

Sunrise from Aylsham (I stopped Car and got out to look at the sunrise - this was just before 6am last Wednesday)

 

 

If you look very carefully, atop the pointy bit on the roof of the Norwich University of the Arts (I used to go here back when it was known as the Norfolk Institute of Art and Design) you'll spy a cormorant!

 

 

These phone boxes outside St. Andrew's church have featured here before.

 

 

Behind this spreading cherry tree are some ramparts of Norwich Castle.

 

Superbloom

 I think we have a contender for the

2026

I N F O M A N I A C

Garden Photos Event 

theme song:

 Of course, there are still six months to go before anything is finalised, but I think Jessie Ware's "Superbloom" is going to be a hard one to top, so to speak.

 

 But what about you?  Do you have any suggestions for the Garden Photos Event theme song? 

New Arrivals

 There may have been orange tip butterflies in the gardens of Hexenhäusli Device earlier this year, but this one is the first I've seen (I've seen several up at the allotment and surrounding fields, though).  And there are plenty of black ladybirds around here, but the 'eye' markings on this harlequin ladybird (Harmonia axyridis) are the first I've noticed.

 

 Anyway, that's the new fauna out of the way.  Now for the flora!

 

 On Thursday, I took The Mother to Hadfields garden centre in North Walsham.  I wanted a cherry tree, some 8ft canes, seed trays, and plant pots of the right size (as Jon pointed out, all the plant pots one has at home are "never the right size").  While I didn't get plant pots of the right size - does no one have them?! - I did come away with some 'extras':

 

Back left: Fuchsias 'Delta's Sarah', 'Dark Eyes', 'Wendy's Beauty', 'Marinka' and 'Dancing Flame'

Back right: Salvias 'Amistad', 'Cherry Lips', and 'Plum Crazy'

The four trays at the front are The Mother's cosmos and snapdragons.  In the middle is an agapanthus she bought a couple of weeks ago (at the back is a pot of narcissus and a horse chestnut).

"Did Someone Say ----?"* : The Sequel!**

The aftermath of an orgy in the pond Lake.  Disgraceful!

 

 

* Answers in the comments, please.

** To this post from a year ago.

 

 Hello!  Here I am!  I don't have much to say, so I will just bombard you with gardening-related photos (mostly) which may also serve as a prompt to start photographing your own gardens and/or green patches for the 16th annual Lady Garden Presentation

 

I N F O M A N I A C

Garden Photos Event

later in the year.

 

 But first some music to accompany your scrolling, from the Project Hail Mary soundtrack, Daniel Pemberton's "Amaze Amaze Amaze (Life on Erid)": 

(I loved my birthday viewing of this film - and the soundtrack - so much that I went to see it again on Tuesday afternoon!  The similar, but not quite as euphoric "Amaze Amaze Amaze (Fist My Bump)" almost made the cut here.)

 

MARCH

The 15th to be precise...

 

The Echiums (pininana, I believe - AKA Giant Viper's Bugloss) made it through the winter.  Phew!

Adventures in Allotmenteering: The Grand Map & Plan of Allotment Device*

 After some very light haranguing, may we present The Grand Map & Plan of Allotment Device!

 Above, at last, is the layout of Allotment Device.  It is too long to fit on one page... 

 I spent a good half an hour yesterday striding up and down, back and forth measuring my allotment in steps (because it was easier than fannying around with a tape measure), sketching and jotting as I went.  Which is why it is rather rough (instead of grand) and somewhat illegible (I added the black biro labelling today - I hope you can read it).

 

 Anyway, one enters the allotment from the south (lower left corner)...

 

... and is accosted by the staging area/dumping ground and Leaning Shed.

(It's easy to miss the three thornless blackberries and the greengage tree in the far right corner.)

[Photo from 21 03 2026]

Symphony For A Queen

 Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Haute & Freddy's debut album Big Disgrace has turned up (purchased with some birthday money), so to celebrate, here are some tunes I've been listening to recently, bookended by two from Haute & Freddy:

"Showgirl At Heart" - Haute & Freddy

"Beautiful (Richard X Rework)" - Goldfrapp

"Find Xanadu (Röyksopp Remix)" - Alison Goldfrapp

Also on the way are Alison Goldfrapp's albums, Love Invention and Flux

 

"I Don't Care" - Shakespears Sister

A bit of Shakespears Sister never goes amiss.

 

"What Could Possibly Go Wrong" - Melanie C

(as championed by Jon)

"In The Middle" - White Lies

White Lies latest album Night Light is on its way, too.

I like this track but the video is creepy/ghastly.

 

"I Would Die 4 U" - Prince

I don't listen to Prince enough, so this track featuring in the final trailer for Project Hail Mary (albeit extensively rejigged - see previous post), was a welcome reminder.

 

"Symphony For A Queen" - Haute & Freddy

Wot I Did On My Birthday, by IDV (aged 44 & fourteen halfs*)

 Well, yes, I did go for a walk as the photos above attest, but the evening before, I actually went out.  With actual people (four friends).  To a bar (for cocktails)!  Yes, I know.

 

 Anyway, we went to Shoreline in Cromer because I didn't fancy spending all night standing in a noisy, packed pub getting hot and bothered (and not in a good way) and not hearing what anyone was saying.  I had three cocktails - a Cromer colada (basically a piña colada with apricot rum or schnapps or something), a Garden sour (a Spring special made with rhubarb gin, lemon juice and syrup), and an Ameretto sour - and didn't have to open my purse once because my lovely, generous friends bought them!

 Shoreline doesn't seem to have a website but they are on IG and FB (I'm not linking to them as I don't approve of the whole Meta thing, but if you're curious you can find them under shorelinecromer).

 

I neglected to take photos of the place or the cocktails, so I nabbed these from the web.  It was not raining or wet when we went.

  Right.  That's Saturday night out of the way.  Here are the rest of the photos from Sunday morning's birthday walk with Bitey. 

Four Photos: Blue Skies

This was the view that greeted me on Thursday evening as Bitey led me home after our walk: The Moon with Venus peeking through the top of the trees.

 

 

And over Hexenhäusli Device, Jupiter (the brightest point of light) sailing through the constellation Gemini (last featured in full here).  The two stars above left of Jupiter are Alpha and Beta Geminorum, or Castor and Pollux.

 

 

From yesterday: Cherry blossom at Allotment Device.  I can't get enough of its scent!

 

 

And finally, this is my favourite tree in the village.  It stands opposite the track up to the allotments so I always get a good look as walk home.

(There used to be another tree partially obscuring it, but it was cut down last year.  Or the year before?  I can't remember.)

 

Of sunshine and hideous, snap-jawed sea creatures

 We've actually had rather a nice weekend, weatherwise: sunshine, balmy temperatures when the wind wasn't blowing, and when it was, it was coming form the south which meant that at least it wasn't frigid as per.

 As well as spending time up the allotment and in the garden, I also took Bitey down to the beach for his now traditional Sunday morning walk (we meet up with one of my friends who has a black lab who Bitey is always very excited to see, and vice versa).

 

 Anyway, here are some photos from that very walk: 

 

 

Four Photos: Fuzzy Behind

 I have just spent a rather enjoyable couple of hours up the allotment not having a bonfire (more on that in another post.  Possibly).  While I was there, this fuzzy behind caught my eye.

 I whipped Camera out and took loads of snaps, hoping that at least one or two might be in focus (Camera is, I fear, on its last legs.  The zoom lens thingy keeps getting stuck and a stern warning flashes up telling me to switch off and on again).  It turned out that ALL of them were in focus!  So that meant I had the harrowing job of whittling down EIGHT photos to four (I know.  As many as eight.  I'm already on my second glass of wine!), in order to construct this Four Photos post.

 

"Fame!  I wanna live forever..." keeps flashing through my head at this pose