Before I begin the post proper, here are some facts about my 'house guest':
The original Margaret lived with the witch who owned the cafe where I used to work in my teens and early twenties. I cloned her before I left the North Norfolk Coast, and brought Margaret 2.0 with me to The Fine City Of Norwich. She's lived with me for the ten years that I've been here, so far. Now that she's in her teens, she's becoming more demanding and a little rough around the edges. She's even taken to drinking.
I give you: A Day In The Life Of Margaret 2.0
Here she is, staggering out of her pit first thing in the afternoon...
Putting on her slap...
Expecting me to chauffeur her around...
Here she is struggling with her shopping after a trip to Sainsbury's. Poor love doesn't have opposable leaves, so can't hold the bag properly...
And finally, after a hard hour shopping, here she is relaxing in the garden with a glass of chilled fertiliser. Lazy cow!
Putting on her slap...
Expecting me to chauffeur her around...
Here she is struggling with her shopping after a trip to Sainsbury's. Poor love doesn't have opposable leaves, so can't hold the bag properly...
And finally, after a hard hour shopping, here she is relaxing in the garden with a glass of chilled fertiliser. Lazy cow!
*notes Coronation Street-style curtains*
ReplyDeleteIs that a porn mag on your bedside table?
My house plants..er guests are so lazy compared to Margaret 2.0.
ReplyDeleteMJ: As much as I love cars, Auto Express doesn't really do it for me.
ReplyDeleteAlthough there was that Motor Show edition in which there was a photo of Tim sliding all over the bonnet of a Honda Civic...
Tara: You shouldn't let them get away with laziness. Get that whip out and make them do the washing up at least!
You've trained her well though. Doing the shopping for you.
ReplyDeleteI notice she didn't get the floral environmentally safe plastic or canvas bags at Sainsbury's.
The shame!
Tee hee! I like Margaret! I also like the way you clearly had to set these shots up in public and probably look like a nutter with a houseplant.
ReplyDeleteOh, IDV how do I worship thee, let me count the ways.
And if you're neighbours didn't think you were a nutter before…
ReplyDeleteEeeew, have you been smearing your man jam on Auto Express? Dirty boi!
Auto Express, my arse.
ReplyDeleteThat's a well-thumbed issue of Auto Fellatio.
Margaret is great and I do commend you having been able to keep her surviving and thriving all these years.
ReplyDeleteOh, that Mags is a funny, funny girl! My, my, just look at how far she's come from such humble roots to living the high life! Though, she might want to ease up on the drinking! No one wants to hire a drunk.
ReplyDeleteBut at least she helps out somewhat with the groceries.
And it appears to be some sort of party in the back yard with all her (questionable) friends! And she either had too much to drink or she enjoys flashing her bare stem to the public!
Fantastic and funny post!
'Petra: Margaret is all for encouraging global warming - She want's to be able to go out in the winter!
ReplyDeleteT-Bird: * blushes but looks pleased *
Yeah, I did feel like a nutter - Especially when I found myself talking to her sternly when she wouldn't stand up straight...
Tim: Only on these pictures.
MJ: Have you been clicking to make these pictures bigger?
Snooze: Why thank you. I suppose I shouldn't mention that I'm thinking of cloning her again and 'disposing' of the original clone, then. She's kind of outgrown my little home...
It can't be easy living with the 'Grand Fromage'.
ReplyDeleteAw shucks! I didn't think a simple little hag interwebs hug would cause a centuries old undead witch to blush!
ReplyDeleteI should do that more often then...
Also: Nice pics of Tim! He really is a cutie, isn't he? Shhh. Don't tell him I said that.
That's a Renault Megane, not a Honda Civic.
ReplyDeleteDoofus.
*blushes at T-Bird's comment*
I have made my house guest, a distant relative of Margaret 2.0, read your blog. House guest is duly ashamed and is now doing the washing up.
ReplyDelete*bows to IDV*
Thank you so much, my guest was a layabout drunkard. He would binge massively and then wet himself all over the floor. Bah!
Good point! Me too.
ReplyDeleteAre you sure that's not a copy of Honcho on your nightstand?
This is awesome! I'd relax too if I had a busy day like that.
ReplyDeleteEros: Oops! You snuck in as I was thinking up replies - I wasn't ignoring you.
ReplyDeleteShe had both too much to drink and enjoyed flashing her stem. Not to mention her tendrils!
Oh, Tickers, I'm such a retard. It took me ages to get 'big cheese' and relate it to 'cheese plant'...
T-Bird: Please do!
::whispers:: Yes he is.
Tim: I know! You're not sprawling all over the bonnet, are you? That particular photo is in my private collection...
W*P*D: I'm pleased that you and your house guest have managed to benefit from this post.
'Petra: What's Honcho?
Dinah: Don't encourage her!
Didn't you watch Sex & the City? (the series)
ReplyDeleteWhat? There's boys blushing everywhere here today!
ReplyDelete'She had both too much to drink and enjoyed flashing her stem. Not to mention her tendrils!'
ReplyDeleteWhere did Mags learn such scandalous behavior?
'Petra: No.
ReplyDeleteT-Bird: Just look at the effect you have on us.
Eros: I hope you're not insinuating I had anything to do with it?