Sunday, March 02, 2008

Shipping Hell!


The NightShip Express from Norwich International Scareport* barely lifted off last night.

How do I know?

Because the bloody great thing passed through my bedroom, that's how. Obviously not the whole thing as it's far too big. No, just the keel and a few portholes. Thankfully, the exhaust passed by on the other side otherwise I'd have asphyxiated!

I've a good mind to write a strongly worded letter to the authorities! After all, not all the denizens of this Mortal Realm are... Well, mere mortals! Some of us exist on the Cusp and can therefore interact with, and be interacted with, the Other Realm dwellers. Luckily, I tend to sleep here in the Mortal Realm while in The Host, otherwise we could have been squished!

In fact, I may have to erect some sort of Air Traffic Control Tower here at Castle DeVice in case this happens again. Normally, the NightShip passes a couple of hundred feet above my tallest turret, but if it's overloaded again (which I assume was the reason for its low altitude last night), I'd like some sort of proximity warning. Hmmm... Thinking about it, an ATCT would be very useful as I seem to live below the flightpath of various airbourne articles: Swans, hot air balloons, light aircraft, the NightShip and Beaky.

I'll look into it tomorrow...



* A highly unoriginal name, I know. But that's what you get if you spend millions on a rebranding exercise. Stupid authorities!

15 comments:

  1. I'll bet quite a few portholes have passed through your bedroom.

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  2. Don't erect a traffic control tower. You'll only have loads of manning and training issues. Think it through.

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  3. MJ said what I wanted to say. I can however add that maybe an Air Traffic Control Tower is not the only thing you want erect in your bedroom

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  4. Count yourself lucky that the frozen shat/piss they eject from planes didn't land on you.

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  5. heehee @ 'shat'

    It's obvious to me that they were flying low to discharge some unauthorized passengers. Were I you, I'd check under the bed and in the closet for illegal otherworldly aliens.

    The upside is, you now have your very own au pair/servant/houseboy.

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  6. MJ & CyberPoo: I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. None.

    Hmmph!

    Tickers: Good points. It'd be too much to hope that Beaky could operate it in my absence.

    Skillz: William Shatner gets ejected from planes?!?

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  7. Rimjob, you gave me quite the scare. Almost as much as the gremlin under the bed (thanks for the warning).

    I'm not sure I want it doing my ironing, though...

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  8. I think some nice fairy lights would make your beacon look extra pretty.

    I mean, that's if you weren't planning on making a pie or anything with the fairies.

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  9. You should be careful that Beaky doesn't attack your whatever pathetic erection you end up with.

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  10. Oh look… I wrote a sentence that didn't really make sense. Please cut the extraneous 'your' while reading it aloud and tracing your finger along the screen beneath the words, IDV.

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  11. Oh look… I wrote a sentence that didn't really make sense. Please cut the extraneous 'your' while reading it aloud and tracing your finger along the screen beneath the words, IDV.

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  12. And do it twice!

    I was going to make the "lots of traffic in your bedroom" joke, but others have made it better and dirtier.

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  13. How did it appear twice?! What's that all about!?

    Crumbs!

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