Thursday, 6 March 2008

Flush Gordon away

Well, what a disappointment that was.

Let me clarify: On Monday, the Sci-fi UK channel broadcast the first episode of the new, rebooted Flash Gordon series. As I was otherwise engaged at 8pm, I taped it, looking forward to the Flash Goodness at a later date.
That later date was this evening.

As dates go, this one was a bit of a disaster. In fact, I ended it halfway through, it was so bad.
Let's take a look at Flash himself:

Tall: Check. Blond: Check. Fit body: Check. A bit gormless looking: Check. So far so good...

Now for the Space Sluts:

Slutty: Check, check and check!

And finally, Ming the Merciless:

Goatee: Che- Wait just a minute! Where in Hell's name is Ming's Goatee?

Oh, and Flash didn't get to Mongo in a rocket ship, he passed through a wibbly hole in spacetime to save money, and possibly the environment. To make matters worse, there didn't appear to be any acting involved in this new production. Or up-to-date visual effects. Or new ideas.

Most heinously: WHERE. WAS. QUEEN'S. THEME. SONG?!?

The upshot is: New Flash Gordon is rubbish. Flush it away! We can make do with the original (and by far superior), thank you.

I certainly won't be wasting another hour of my time on this drivel.


  1. Where are Ming's evil arched eyebrows?

  2. Flash used to be in smallville. He was Kristen Kreuk's boyfriend. They dumped him when they realised he was rubbish, and now she's mine - all mine!!!!!

  3. That new Ming doesn't make me troubled and aroused like the old one. And wasn't Flash supposed to wear tights and a codpiece?

    What is the freaking world coming to?

  4. Well, how about Ming's "Babylon 5" jacket?

  5. I look more merciless than Ming.

  6. Anonymous7/3/08 20:46

    I thought the whole point of FG was that it WAS crap acting and onion skin thin plots.

    And by "original", you of course mean THIS, don't you?

  7. Oh no. :( Sorry to hear that the much-awaited show was disappointing. I hate that. I've only seen the original once but I distinctly remember Ming looking totally different than the guy pictured here. That's so not right.

  8. Tim, if by 'merciless' you mean "Oh, where is my blasted monocle? Fetch me a cup of tea, Jeeves!"

  9. And make the tea in a proper pot - none of this squidging the bag against the side of a chipped mug!

    And serve it in a proper cup and saucer!

    Could Dinah adapt her "zing!" to "ming!" I wonder?

  10. Heh. Only in particularly merciless situations.

  11. Rimshot: Oh I hope so. that show was classic.

    I have to check out the new one though, because when people are this cruel to a show they couldn't finish - it may be just what I want.

    Hell, I watch the new Bionic woman show every Sunday

  12. Compared to Max von Sydow as Ming.... ths new one is just some guy.

  13. IDV, I didn't think too much about the new Flash Gordon, as the first episodes sucked--and not in a good way. I thought I would give it a try, though; unfortunately, I keep missing the rest of the season, and I only watched 5 crappy episodes so far...but I have hope...

    On the other hand, I do enjoy the sill humor of the SG1 spinoffs and the new revamped BSG--so dark and depressing and brutal! Also, I confess to liking that Dr Who show...

  14. Is Brian Blessed in the new version?


  15. GORDON'S ALIVE!?!?!?!?!

  16. Where is the Inexplicable one?

  17. He probably found himself in " a wibbly hole in spacetime"...ending up in "Mongo" ;)

  18. Can't beat the original

  19. Space sluts: the one on the right's a real ho!

    ps I remember flash Gordon's Trip to Mars as BLACK AND WHITE with a female ruler just like Queen Liz II... BBC2, around 6pm 1980/1981 type time... remember..??

  20. Hey I'd quite like to get that Sky Fye channel it looks pretty pukka!


Tickle my fancy, why don't you?