Thursday, March 06, 2008

Flush Gordon away


Well, what a disappointment that was.

Let me clarify: On Monday, the Sci-fi UK channel broadcast the first episode of the new, rebooted Flash Gordon series. As I was otherwise engaged at 8pm, I taped it, looking forward to the Flash Goodness at a later date.
That later date was this evening.

As dates go, this one was a bit of a disaster. In fact, I ended it halfway through, it was so bad.
Let's take a look at Flash himself:



Tall: Check. Blond: Check. Fit body: Check. A bit gormless looking: Check. So far so good...

Now for the Space Sluts:


Slutty: Check, check and check!

And finally, Ming the Merciless:



Goatee: Che- Wait just a minute! Where in Hell's name is Ming's Goatee?

Oh, and Flash didn't get to Mongo in a rocket ship, he passed through a wibbly hole in spacetime to save money, and possibly the environment. To make matters worse, there didn't appear to be any acting involved in this new production. Or up-to-date visual effects. Or new ideas.

Most heinously: WHERE. WAS. QUEEN'S. THEME. SONG?!?



The upshot is: New Flash Gordon is rubbish. Flush it away! We can make do with the original (and by far superior), thank you.

I certainly won't be wasting another hour of my time on this drivel.

20 comments:

  1. Where are Ming's evil arched eyebrows?

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  2. Flash used to be in smallville. He was Kristen Kreuk's boyfriend. They dumped him when they realised he was rubbish, and now she's mine - all mine!!!!!

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  3. That new Ming doesn't make me troubled and aroused like the old one. And wasn't Flash supposed to wear tights and a codpiece?

    What is the freaking world coming to?

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  4. Well, how about Ming's "Babylon 5" jacket?

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  5. I look more merciless than Ming.

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  6. I thought the whole point of FG was that it WAS crap acting and onion skin thin plots.

    And by "original", you of course mean THIS, don't you?

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  7. Oh no. :( Sorry to hear that the much-awaited show was disappointing. I hate that. I've only seen the original once but I distinctly remember Ming looking totally different than the guy pictured here. That's so not right.

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  8. Tim, if by 'merciless' you mean "Oh, where is my blasted monocle? Fetch me a cup of tea, Jeeves!"

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  9. And make the tea in a proper pot - none of this squidging the bag against the side of a chipped mug!

    And serve it in a proper cup and saucer!

    Could Dinah adapt her "zing!" to "ming!" I wonder?

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  10. Heh. Only in particularly merciless situations.

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  11. Rimshot: Oh I hope so. that show was classic.

    I have to check out the new one though, because when people are this cruel to a show they couldn't finish - it may be just what I want.

    Hell, I watch the new Bionic woman show every Sunday

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  12. Compared to Max von Sydow as Ming.... ths new one is just some guy.

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  13. IDV, I didn't think too much about the new Flash Gordon, as the first episodes sucked--and not in a good way. I thought I would give it a try, though; unfortunately, I keep missing the rest of the season, and I only watched 5 crappy episodes so far...but I have hope...

    On the other hand, I do enjoy the sill humor of the SG1 spinoffs and the new revamped BSG--so dark and depressing and brutal! Also, I confess to liking that Dr Who show...

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  14. Is Brian Blessed in the new version?

    HAWKMEN DIIIIIVE!!!!!!!!!

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  15. GORDON'S ALIVE!?!?!?!?!

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  16. Where is the Inexplicable one?

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  17. He probably found himself in " a wibbly hole in spacetime"...ending up in "Mongo" ;)

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  18. Can't beat the original

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  19. Space sluts: the one on the right's a real ho!

    ps I remember flash Gordon's Trip to Mars as BLACK AND WHITE with a female ruler just like Queen Liz II... BBC2, around 6pm 1980/1981 type time... remember..??

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  20. Hey I'd quite like to get that Sky Fye channel it looks pretty pukka!

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