Drat! Have a week off work and it turns out it's the ruddy easter holidays so all the abominable little brats are off school. Christ! They're everywhere, the little buggers. I blame Jesus for this. If he hadn't been so lazy and allowed himself to be caught and crucified, he never would have risen from the dead - the bloody zombie - and had all this holiday malarkey made up in his honour. I bet if he'd managed to eat a few more brains, rather than the eggs, chicks and bunnies that he found after he escaped from his tomb, people wouldn't've been so enamoured with him and we wouldn't have this ridiculous holiday.
Anyway, the throngs of kids covered in smears of chocolate from half-eaten easter eggs, had built up in such numbers that I couldn't stand it any longer. So, I'm now en route to somewhere less kid-friendly: Cybertron.
I was going to trans-stellar spectralise there, but Cybertron doesn't have any drone-hosts to drop into. Besides, The Host wanted to come too, so we're on a substar sailer being waited on hand and foot in the VIP lounge. This certainly is the unlife!
I'm writing this while I wait for my next cocktail to be brought over - A Stardrifter! I know it's a little early in the day to be at the cocktails already, but the waiter looks remarkably like Connor Trinneer, only with two extra arms. Imagine the possibilities!
I may be a week or so, but I promise to send postcards when I can...
My parents took me on an Easter egg hunt once. I left there feeling totally robbed of good candy. I found an egg and they took that egg and traded with me this horrible-tasting piece of crap candy. I even remember looking at it with disappointment. My parents never made me go on another hunt like that again.
ReplyDeleteI imagine the egg that you found was a real egg and not a chocolate egg, or that swap was utterly monstrous!
ReplyDeleteOh my god, I rue the day I introduced you to memory alpha…
ReplyDeleteSay hi to Optimus Prime for me!
ReplyDeleteTim: Ha!
ReplyDeleteT-Bird: I will! That's if he's not destroying garden furniture...
I hope they have let go of their Shya La Beef obsession over there.
ReplyDeleteI am sure you have thought of this - but - that planet looks a bit 'spikey'...
ReplyDeleteWhy is the Stardrifter green?
ReplyDeleteT-Bird: I don't believe they have. He advertises everything from joint lube to particle beam cannons.
ReplyDeleteMutley: It does make landings a bit tricky...
MJ: Because if it was pink it's be a Starduster.
So Shya's just in charge of the sex toys section then, eh?
ReplyDeleteMJ - I am pretty sure it's green because some alien sneezed into it.
I've managed to avoid the brats
ReplyDeleteI recommend staying in as much as possible, although this doesn't work for parents
Kid's shouldn't be allowed holidays at Easter.
ReplyDeleteThey should be nailed to the cross and beaten with thorny things, so that they can understand properly.
Then, in the absence of caves and big rocks, they should be hidden in the drawer of a double divan to be rescued a few days later.
And who the fuck is Connor Trinneer?
Ah!
ReplyDeleteCommander Tucker. Now I understand.
Thank you, Google.
I bet no bastard buys me an egg this year :-(
ReplyDeleteMmm, Easter CHocolate. I'm craving some right now! But if I want an egg hunt, I'd have to hide the eggs myself...and then find them...which is just sort of sad, I think.
ReplyDeleteWhy don't you get drunk and scatter the eggs about your apartment? That way you could surprise yourself once the hangover wears off!
ReplyDeleteDinah, one year, my friends and I decided to do our own version of an Easter egg hunt...by pretending the olives in the martinis were eggs, and to find them, we had to drink all that gin and vermouth to get to them!
ReplyDelete