Thursday, 17 July 2008

The Revenge of the Bookulator

Not only have I had time to go zooming around Norwich on my bike, taking photos of my Fine City, and unconsciously making Victoria Sponge cakes, but I've also managed to squeeze in two more books.

As in, I've read two more, not actually squeezed them in somewhere. And certainly not squeezed them in my NON-EXISTENT front bottom, MJ!

Anyway, here are the latest two books. They might look a tad familiar, as they both follow on from the previous two:

ATTACK OF THE Deranged Mutant Killer Monster SNOW GOONS, by Bill Watterson.

This features a strip in which Calvin accidently brings a snowman to life, who attempts to kill Calvin, then makes more Snow Goons, who each make more etc. etc... Calvin eventually vanquishes them by turning the garden hose on them at night while they sleep, freezing them solid. Calvin's dad comes outside to see what on earth is going on, only to skid over on the icy yard and end up covered in snow. He chases Calvin who thinks he's been transformed into a Snow Goon, too. Ummm... You really have to be there for it to be funny.
Other strips include: Calvin versus his killer bicycle; Stupendous Man vanquishing his arch-fiend Annoying Girl (Susie Derkins) by dropping a massive snow ball on her from a tree; more from Calvin & Hobbes' club G.R.O.S.S. (Get Rid Of Slimy girlS), where Hobbes gets kidnapped by Susie Derkins in retaliation to Calvin's kidnapping of her doll, Binky Betsy; and the creation of Good Calvin by the Duplicator (Calvin's big cardboard box). Good Calvin doesn't last very long because he had a bad thought after an argument with Original (Evil) Calvin and 'spectralized' into non existence when the built-in 'Moral Compromise Spectral Release Phantasmatron' kicks in. Genius!

I love Calvin & Hobbes, if you hadn't already realised, and will be reading more while I'm waiting for the the final book of the Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Lost Era, Terok Nor: Dawn of the Eagles, to be delivered. But first, here's the second book:

Star Trek Terok Nor: Night of the Wolves, by S D Perry & Britta Dennison

This book spans the time between 2345 and 2357, and introduces more familiar characters who weren't in the first novel: Gul Ocett, Corat Damar (future leader of the Cardassian Union), Opaka Sulan (the future Kai), Winn Adami (Opaka's scheming successor), Lenaris Holem, Ro Laren, Shakaar Edon, Dr. Mora Pol, Odo and Kira Nerys.
I'm not going to go on too much about this book, other than to say that the authors have done a fine job of continuing James Swallow's excellent work, and elaborating on important events from Bajor's history that the television series had only touched upon. Subjects such as the effects Opaka's teachings have on the Bajorans she meets, the makings of Ro Laren and Kira Nerys from children to young women, more on the somewhat misunderstood Gul Dukat and his love for Nerys's mother, Kira Meru, and the liberation of the Gallitep mining facility, to name but a few.
I didn't find this novel quite as engaging as the first, even though the characters were more familiar. I think it's because so much was packed in, that it could have done with having somewhat more than the 450 odd pages allocated. Overall, it is an inciteful look at Cardassian occupied Bajor, and the struggles of not just the Bajorans, but some of the Cardassians, too.

Hopefully, the next book will be here soon!


  1. I will not get inspired and buy more books, I will not get inspired and buy more books, I will not get inspired and buy more books, I will not get inspired and buy more books,I will not get inspired and buy more books, I will not get inspired and buy more books

    From how you explained it, I don't think I had to be there to know it was funny. Although who doesn't want to be chased by a snow goon?

    They look like they are doing something indecent on the cover.

  2. *removes Victoria Sponge cake crumb from front bottom and offers it to IVD to use as a bookmark*

  3. Anonymous17/7/08 17:28

    Ah yes, C&H and snowmen. Luvverly!

  4. A victoria sandwich and Star Trek.
    It doesnt get any better than that.Is that a black hole over there or is MJ bending over polishing her uggs

  5. I wouldn't be caught dead in Uggs.

    *flicks cake crumbs from fanny onto Beast*

  6. Of course all the Star Trek novels are non-canon so you're effectively wasting your time reading them.

  7. yikes Uggs?

    Who mentioned Uggs? They must be shot

    like now.

  8. The strip of Calvin's Snowman Graveyard is one of my favourite ones ever. I don't know if it's in that book or another one, but you're definitely making me want to check out some classic Calvin and Hobbes.

  9. CyberPetra: What? Like Indecent Exposure? Well, that snow goon isn't wearing any clothes...

    MJ: * notes how the clammy dampness from the 'bookmark' seeps out and welds all the pages together *

    Qenny: Is there anything better?

    Actually, BEAST's observation runs it a close second.

    BEAST: I wondered how all the light was suddenly sucked from the room?

    MJ: Are you saying that once you're an Ugg wearing zombie, you'll be able to run so fast that no one will catch you?

    * Hands BEAST a shovel *

    Tim: I don't care! I only really read the DS9 relaunch novels, but I do believe that everything in them is canon as far as DS9 goes because there's not a (Deranged Mutant Killer Monster) snow ball's chance in Hell that TPTB will make more DS9 episodes or a movie that will contradict them.

    TNG novels on the other hand are a pile of poo. They should be shot out of a can(n)on for their dilution of the Borg and the wanton destruction of the USS Thunderchild.

    CyberPetra: It's OK, dear. They're gone now. Here, have a glass of champers to calm your nerves.

    Dinah: I think it is in this book. Could be the last one? I know I've seen it very recently - The one where there's a snowman with a cannon hole through him (and a snow cannon in front of him), a snowman about to hang himself and a snowman chopped in half by a snowboy on a sled?

  10. Awww thanks dear!

    Oh well can't you see. The two Snow Goons are buggering!

  11. No wonder Calvin and Hobbes look mortified. Obviously they've never expected something like that on the cover of their book

  12. Heh heh. Actually, that's just one snow goon. Originally, it only had one head and two arms, but then it made itself another head and stuck some more twig-arms in for good measure.

    But still scary!

  13. Well I guess you had to be there.

    I still think it looks more rude than scary.

    Maybe it's all that champers?

  14. You've inspired me to do a book update. It's a lacklustre one, trust me.

    *runs off to get Snow Goons Book*

    *hands IDV antibacterial wipes to clean off his frontbottom book*

  15. Don't get so het up old bean - they're just fiction. Well, more fictional than Star Trek on TV, because they're not canon. They might as well have Spock be reading one in the new movie.

    Between these and your fictional city I'm beginning to think you have a very loose grip on reality.

  16. Tim: We can be certain he has a loose grip somewhere.

    The tread wore off long ago.

  17. Yes! That's the one.

    Question: is time spent reading Star Trek materials ever really wasted?

    On a related note, I'm watching TNG as I type this. It's an early one with clean-shaven Riker!

  18. CyberPetra: Actually, on closer inspection...

    T-Bird: * gratefully accepts antibacterial wipes *

    * hands over Pledge polish wipes *

    here, these'll put a bit of lustre on your review.

    Tim: This isn't reality. This is fantasy. You wanted adventure, how's this? The old adrenaline going, huh? Good boy. Now get in the closet.

    Actually, on second thoughts, come out of the closet.

    Of course I have a loose grip, MJ. After all, there's so much of your neck to strangle - My hands got tired after the first three feet.

  19. Ooh, Dinah! You snuck in as I was checking my quote-response to Tim.

    I would have said no in response to your question, however, after having read the latest two TNG novels, I'm going to have to take that back.

    Clean-shaven Riker was quite a dish!

  20. Shit, how many Star Trek books do you read?!

  21. I know!

    Calvin and Hobbes are rude!!!

  22. CP, just be glad the snowmen aren't snowballing.

    I wish they would start making DS9 movies!

  23. Not many really, Tim. I read all the DS9 relaunch ones, but there hasn't been a new one in a couple of years or so. Although Fearful Symmetry is out now I think, so I'll be reading that. These latest three Lost Era novels all came out at the same time, hence this sudden glut.
    As for TNG, well, I picked up Resistance and Before Dishonour late last year - What a load of old codswallop.
    I don't read Enterprise or Titan novels, but I do really like the Vanguard ones.
    In total, I suppose I might read 4 or 5 Star Trek novels a year?

    One day, I might post a picture of my Star Trek bookshelves...

    CyberPetra: I dread to think of the imagery that would be needed if what Hobbes told Calvin was true: That people grow from spores!

    Eros: That would be so cool!

    DS9 movies, not snowmen snowballing...

  24. ***imagines IVD in his 7 of 9 get up****

  25. Hmmmm, I'm a tiny bit curious.

    Beast: kinky!

  26. Seven of Nine was a bit too sexy. I always though Deanna was nice looking.

    Ryker - RAWR! Is it wrong though, that Data was, and is, my favourite? He is just a hyped up toy, after all.

  27. Data was the iPhone of yore

  28. He is fully functional, T-Bird.

  29. Anonymous19/7/08 18:39

    I love Calvin and Hobbes too and I swear I have been on some adventures with Spaceman Spiff myself.

    Star Trek scared the crap out of me when I was a kid so I tend to stay away now, although I read all of your post without catatonic rocking setting in. Yay!


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