It was someone's birthday at work today, and as is the custom at our office, the birthday girl brought in cake for the rest of her team. The cake she brought in was a gingerbread house.
The thoughtless cow had the audacity to offer me some! When it's my birthday, I'm going to bring in some bricks and plasterboard and ram them down her throat. See how she likes it!
Mwahahahahahaha! It could only have been worse if she'd had a little tiny action man in the house, and devoured it in front of you!
ReplyDeleteMwahahahahaha!
You could wait till she's walking to work and run her over in one of those Skodas made from cake
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwBE1l6QexU
that'll learn her
Ungrateful cunt.
ReplyDeleteI didn't know your kind had birthdays
ReplyDeleteHey, if it looked as tasty as this one in the pic, I'd've eaten it! How odd that the birthday person has to bring in the cake...usually, the other drones provide the goodies for the birthday model.
ReplyDeleteBut look, it has knobs you can twiddle.
ReplyDeleteAs much as I love a good gingerbread house, if I had been looking forward to Birthday cake this would have been a disappointment. In our office we get the leftovers from any meetings or training sessions...and it's always exciting to see what shows up.
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Elaine gets upset at the amount of cake she's eating at the office but then misses the sugar rush and eats an old piece of royal wedding cake. I really like that episode.
Haha...I've thought of bringing in cake to the office before....in fact I have come to think of it! But I have never thought of bringing in a gingerbread house! Not even during the Christmas season!
ReplyDeleteYou should've ripped off the chimney. Santa wouldn't be able to visit that house. That would've fixed her. ;)
Were tiny children inside being lured by the candy??
ReplyDeleteOh deary me. Dead pigeons on her doorstep yeah?
ReplyDeleteAt our office we also bring cake when we have a birthday or go on holiday.
Lovely tradition. I have to say a gingerbread house is a good idea. If you don't have witches in the office mind.
T-Bird: It'd've been worse for her after I clubbed her over the head with a stapler.
ReplyDeleteSkiilz: Back from the dead I see.
If I waited, I fear the cake-car would be slowly, but steadily devoured.
P&T: I still ate some. Grudgingly.
'shot: I can assure you she is not one of my kind!
Eros: It'd be nice your way around, however, if the birthday model didn't bring in cake as a visible clue, no one would know when anyone's birthday was.
MJ: And twiddle I did!
Dinah: It was very disappointing, yes. Not just because it brought back horrid memories, but also that there wasn't nearly enough of it. And no chocolate, either.
Tara: Let's just say I don't think she'll be doing it again.
Dora: Yes. And I shoved them inside the liqorice oven! Ha!
CyberPetra: I know. She's such an insensitive clod.
The cheek on her!
ReplyDeleteOf course I'd have just seen it as free cake and eaten it.
I did try, CyberPetra, but it wasn't that nice. A bit dry.
ReplyDeleteThen she should certainly eat bricks
ReplyDeleteI bet you tried to squeeze inside, eh?
ReplyDeleteFilth.
No sign of Hansel or Gretel? Or even the witch? Denied!
ReplyDeleteCyberPetra: She certainly should.
ReplyDeleteTim: Inside who, you naughty boy? Are you after another spanking?
Filth indeed.
W*P*D: I bet Hansel & Gretel would have been far more tasty than her dusty old cake.
Cake day at work, what a perversion of the natural way of things - I used to hate having a birthday at my last place, having to buy cake for all the cunts that I hoped would choke to death on it.
ReplyDeletePlus, the expense.
Plus, who can be arsed?
Plus, it's bad enough getting older without having to pop to pikey Morrisons at lunch time because your colleagues are bullying you to buy them food on your birthday.
You should have said something like "this house must be all dry-wall" or something.
ReplyDeleteJust to you know, spite her.
Or hex her. Something about her children all being ugly and her house falling down.
ReplyDeleteCheap cunt.
ReplyDeleteAt our place you not only have to bring cake on your birthday but at 5pm everyone gathers around your desk for ritual humiliation. They sing and clap and then present you with an insulting card and expect you to be happy about it.
ReplyDeleteI have perfected the smile through gritted teeth!
I once told someone that I hated the ordeal and they said I would feel worse if nothing was done.
Er no, I REALLY REALLY wouldn't!
Herge: The most important tit bit of info in your rant is that Morrisons is pikey.
ReplyDeleteI simply won't set foot in Morrisons.
CyberPetra: Hee! Yes I should. I might have to hire you to be my official 'Put Down/Bitchy remark/Cutting comment' maker.
T-Bird: What a fabulous idea!
Her children are already ugly, though.
Pissoff: If CyberPetra is going to be my cutting comment maker, you can be my blunt-force psychological trauma comment maker.
W*P*D: That sounds horrendous! I thank the god Bernard Cribbins that I don't work at your place.
Do you join in with the singing etc when it's someone elses birthday? Or do you just slink off somewhere?
I slink right outta there!
ReplyDeleteBut I have made the cards, but I prefer to think mine are funny. It's their own fault, they let me loose in Photoshop!