Saturday, 28 June 2008


Oof! I'm back. And rather lighter in the pocket than yesterday.

The reason for the 'lightness' is that Broom is now resplendent with tri-dimensional twisted mahogany bracing and quick charging bristles. I also had a knot in the foreshaft opened for an eyeWand™ port. Plus, when I went in, there was a special on balancer wings: Buy Crow Thruster Wings with Spinal Cord Reflexors and get Blackbird Wing Stabilisers* free with a complimentary amber coating for the 'Cord Reflexor connector, so I had those fitted too. Although I would have preferred the opaque silver 'Cord coating as I can see all the nerve impulses through the amber as they travel up and down the shaft between the wings.

Before Dar Kart's could operate, I had to drain Broom of its thaumic charge to prevent any unnecessary danger - A bit like how mortals unplug the toaster before jamming a knife in to extricate a charred bit of toast. It was most exhilarating, I can tell you! I was on a high afterwards. Literally.
After I'd soaked up Broom's discharge, I found myself 20 feet off the floor with my face pressed against the ceiling, sparking from every appendage! It was only then that one of Dar Kart's lackeys told me they could've discharged it into the pear tree out back. With some difficulty, I made it to the ground and out to the back yard, fizzing as I went.

Honestly, you should see the thing. It's absolutely enormous! A bigger pear tree I never did see. In fact, it's pretty much one of the biggest trees I have ever seen. It's also got a habit of moving even when the wind isn't blowing. And it lights up the yard at night, so the lackey told me. I imagine that's pretty much par for the course seeing as it's used as a thaumic dumping ground.

Anyway, I'm exhausted after this latest trip over The Cusp, so I'm off to Bedfordshire. I just hope I don't wake up on the ceiling tomorrow morning...

* Not Beaky's unfortunately, but a witch can dream.


  1. Broom sounds like it's a wicked ride! Are you going to be cruising over the Dysart Dash considering there's room for two on the room.

    I feel like singing that Flight of the Conchords song now.

  2. Broom. Not room. If that's what you're into.

  3. When you're finished soaking up Broom's discharge, you can clean up mine.

  4. Is "amber coating" for brooms like "rust proofing" for cars?

  5. Now THIS is peculiar.

    Hope it's all you wanted it to be and more.

  6. T-Bird: Now there's an idea! I could swoop down on the finish line and carry Tim off.
    back to my room...

    MJ: Eww! I was eating my breakfast.

    * gets out mattress sized sponge and wonders if it'll be big enough for MJ's discharge *

    Tara: Kind of, yes. It weather-proofs the biological nerves embedded in the shaft.

    CyberPetra: For the money, it should be!

  7. I was going to make a comment about you soaking up discharge, but then MJ beat me to it.

    You are filthy.

    I still think I could outrun you on broom.

  8. Me filthy?!

    You're the one taking my innocent remarks the wrong way, Tim.
    Well, you and MJ...

    As for the cheek about outrunning me, I'll have you know that Broom attained the incredible speed of 82 mph the other day. The fact that I wasn't on board at the time is neither here nor there.

  9. Brooms...sometimes they go off without your say so, rising at the some inopportune moments when dealing with others...and sometimes while you sleep. Can't argue with a good discharge, though; they're always a pleasant experience.

  10. I heartily agree, Eros.

    Hey! Wait a minute... That wouldn't've been a euphemism, would it?

  11. So all this time I've been reading about broom and you've just been talking about your pecker?


    So which way did it curve? The right or left?

  12. T-Bird: That Eros is a one!

    CyberPetra: Pecker?! I don't like that word. It sounds small.

    I can honestly say that this has totally been about Broom, and not my appendages.


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