Now, I have been accused of various things in my time, only most of which I'm guilty of*.
The latest accusation comes from my actual coven! The crime? Flirting.
I have never been so insulted!
Oh, OK. So maybe I'm guilty of this flirting thing, too. Honestly, I only do it for a laugh. Or for attention. Or to get my way. Or to get someone else to do something for me. Or because I'm bored. Or because the conversation has run dry. Or because I've had a drink or six.
Sometimes I even flirt with someone Hot and unattainable.
However, I rarely flirt with The Gays because it might just lead to disgusting bum sex!**
* shudder *
And we wouldn't want that, would we boys and girls?
So the fact of the matter is: I only flirt when there's absolutely no chance of actually getting anywhere of a sexual nature.
So, you're safe, Tim. For now...
* Baby eating, seal clubbing, Father Christmas impaling, ivory poaching, Tooth Fairy squashing, blood sucking, whale hunting, species extincting and eating the last fondant fancy to name but a few.
** Apart from with Knight, that is.