Saturday, 26 May 2007

Another Pop Quiz, Hotshots! Or...

... I'll show you mine, if you show me yours!

Which fictional character would you most like to be? I'd be T'Pol from Star Trek Enterprise. Why? Because she gets to do it with everybody's favourite body: Commander Charles "Trip" Tucker. AKA Connor Trinneer! Yum. Although, if and when I do get to be her, I want to be the Mirror Universe version with long hair, super-pout and 2269 USS Defiant mini-skirt uniform!

But, which one are you most like? Rincewind from the Discworld , or Ezri Dax from Deep Space Nine. Both have something overpowering lurking within them. Rincewind has one of the Octavo spells in his head that prevents him from memorising any other spells because they are too scared to share. Whereas Ezri has a 350 year old slug inside her with nine other personalities (10, if one includes Verad) all vying for attention. I suppose there might also be a smidgeon of Marc St. James, from Ugly Betty, when I'm having a Gay Day, much like Larry Grayson!

What about you IDV?

I don't know any fictional characters. Whenever I do become acquainted with one, it has this disconcerting tendancy of becoming real.
For instance, at this very moment, Dr. Frankenstein is in the cellar doing something unspeakable with 10,000 volts and a pan of over-boiled broccoli.

I wondered what that smell was. Speaking of which, what're we having for tea?

* rummages in the fridge *

I thought we were having kitten-en-croute with that broccol...


I see you've found the bowl of brains. Are you going to tell the good doctor, or shall I?

Senile, myopic old git...

See what I mean? What kind of aspirational character is that?

How are we going to get rid of him?

Well, I thought a well timed Daisy Duke-esque kick to his posterior as the old duffer's bending over to switch on the TV. With any luck, he'll fall through the inter-universal barrier into Stinky's Universe.

Excellent! Do you reckon we've put enough links in this post?

I think so. It should keep them going for a bit. We're so good at assisting with their procrastination.

But aren't we going to make them do something? Like answer the same questions we just have?

Oh, OK... Right you lot! Answer those 'fictional character' questions up there, either in the comments, or do a post of your own.


  1. I think I will have to do a post of mine.

    I don't know many of those though, I am so ashamed. We only had Star Trek TNG

  2. Anonymous27/5/07 01:13

    TNG was the only decent one.

    DS9 was shite, as was the new one.

    The original was fucking rubbish.

  3. Anonymous27/5/07 01:14

    And Commander Data had no cock.

    Poor cunt.

  4. Cyberpete: Only TNG?! You poor, hard-done-by soul!

    M and J: TNG was decent, yes. But DS9 was a revelation - by far superior. It had ongoing storylines and excellent character definition and everything!
    Voyager was a godawful mess and Enterprise, while having one or two redeeming features - Cmdr Tucker - was best taken with a pinch of salt. Plus, Captain Cockface didn't help matters...

    As for Data: Indeed! I bet he shared groin-designers with Ken.

  5. Liked the spiffy uniforms in TNG. Saw DS9 a couple of times but it was on fuck-offAM on a weeknight.

    Which fictional character would you most like to be?
    1. My namesake Spike the vampire.
    2. Jack Sparrow.

    1. Would get to shag anyone I fancied even myself.
    2. Would get to shag anyone I fancied.

    But, which one are you most like?
    Jack Sparrow! No, okay, realistically probably Rincewind or Data.

  6. Hmmm... interesting...

    Which fictional character would I most like to be? Kirk, definitely. Because he's super-keeewl, gets it on with green Orion slave women, and is captain of the Enterprise. Or Trip. I'd quite happily be Trip because he gets to be on the end of T'Pol's Vulcan sex grip. Hang on though... if you're T'Pol... Is this a honey trap?

    As to who I'm most like. Well, I can be emotionally blank like Spock, but then again I can veer toward being incredibly emotional like McCoy. So I'm probably most like Chekov.

  7. Jesus IDV, that post was a little Blind Date wasn't it?

    *scouse accent* "Cuntessent noomber wun, if you could be any fickshenel characker, which woo you be?"

  8. Ooh, Spike: If only there was a post-watershed Buffy. I'd have been an avid viewer for some Spike-on-Spike action.

    * sigh *

    Tim, as your prize for Truly Outstanding Efforts In The Field Of Commenting has now expired, I'm free to bring my Vulcan Sex Grip up to scratch...

    Skillz: Just don't pick Number Three - She's am absolute monster! Probably not unlike some of those at Tim's speed-dating event.

    Excellent use of the 'C' word, there, too.

  9. avid viewer for some Spike-on-Spike action.

    I bags the remote!

  10. * holds cushion in a suspicious position *


Tickle my fancy, why don't you?