It's A Faaaake! Not The Art Of Star Trek - Seeing Double

 Rather uncharacteristically, I've made a start on this month's Star Trek art challenge well before the last minute!  I thought I'd better set a good example as I was the one who came up with the theme to August's challenge (having won the July art challenge).  Here is my theme:  

For this month's art challenge, I thought we could take a walk on the wild side.

Or a wild Trek, even!

I'd like to see your takes on anything wilderness-related in the Star Trek Universe: A landscape from Qo'noS, perhaps? Big game from Berengaria? A starship decked out in Greenpeace-equivalent livery rescuing a Gormagander? Or whatever those little creatures were that High Society Betazoid ladies used to imprison in their giant wigs!
As long as your piece of art showcases some sort of wildlife or its environs, it's in!

 The reason why I'm publishing this "It's A Faaaake!" post before the end of the month/beginning of next month is that I need your help - More on this a bit further down.

 Harkening back to 2017's Driven to Distraction and Foreign Relations "It's A Faaaake!" posts, I've cut out a few bits of coloured paper/card and fitted them together to make a couple of Starfleet officers to pose about in the countryside wilderness around Château DeVice.
 I've chosen a Chandir ("Tailhead") and an Andorian, and dressed them in a version of my alternate universe 2373 Starfleet uniform for February's Art Challenge (as modelled by T'Cael & Ry'iak down there in the top right, with influences from my Starfleet Occult Operations design, bottom left). 

 Below, my Chandir (standing) and Andorian (crouching) subjects have escaped their paper prison, despite being unfinished(!), and made it out into the garden. As I hadn't yet got around to furnishing them with tricorders and communicators, they have availed themselves of a divining rod and crystal ball (it's amazing what one can find laying about in a witch's garden) to aid in their bid for freedom...

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 This is the bit where you come in. 

"Damn it. You have ALL the Cormorants again."

It does appear that way, doesn't it, Ms Scarlet?

 Ms Scarlet appeared quite vexed after perusing Wednesday's Coastal Catch-Up post and the glut of cormorants contained within.
 So, to soothe her nerves, I have found something other than Cormorants to share from today's wander along the beach.

Ummm… So what are these two photos, then?

 Ah.  Yes.  Well, they were still hanging around, and Camera accidentally took photos of them. Or something...
 Anyway, for nerve-soothing, just scroll down.

Red Arrows: Cromer Carnival 2018

Different to 2016.  Just.

 This week is carnival week in Cromer, and yesterday, being the third Wednesday in August, was Carnival Day.  Traditionally, Cromer plays host to the Royal Air Force Aerobatic Team, the Red Arrows, on Carnival Day, and yesterday was no exception.   
 I didn't get quite as far along the cliffs as I did back in 2016, so there's no lighthouse photo to start us off.  Instead, we'll begin with some different scene-setting: a look back towards whence I came, before forging West to a sufficiently people-free perch from where Red Arrow observing took place. 

I missed their "Amateur Big Battle" to "Short Diamond" entrance, but caught this "Typhoon Roll"

Coastal Catch-Up

The Moon from 5th August

 It's been nearly two weeks since my last beach photos post. Can you believe it?
 Eleven days, actually.
 Still, nearer to two weeks than one.  Anyway, just because there haven't been any beach photos here, doesn't mean we haven't actually been on the beach, as the following photos illustrate.
 There are quite a few, so apologies for the amount of scrolling you'll have to do.  And before you ask, I don't want to split them up into separate posts because I've just got back from seeing the Red Arrows with 74 photos(!) that need a home. So the next post is reserved for them - once I've whittled them down to a more manageable number.

 So, first up, some photos from 5th August's swim: 

Last Call for the Freakin' Green Elf Shorts

 You now have a little more than three days to get to minimum safe distance your Freakin' Green Elf Shorts captions in over at Rimpy's place.  The Freakin Green Elf Short Caption Competition closes at 23:59:59 PDT (Pacific Daylight Time, at a guess?) Wednesday August 15th.  That's this Wednesday, people!

This is the photo of Rimpy in the Freakin' Green Elf Shorts that needs captioning

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It's A Faaaake! Not The Art Of Star Trek - Revenge of the Baby-Sat

 I threatened you with Star Trek, and now I'm here to follow up on that threat.  Ta da:

In Star Trek it often seems like the adventures we see onscreen are only the tip of the iceberg. In the series' we also hear of many other events that have occurred but that we never actual see.

So, for July's Art Challenge your task is to depict one of these unseen events from Trek's history. You could create a ship for which we've only heard a name. Maybe show what happened during the Talarian Conflict* or the Battle of Klach d'kel Brakt. Or something more character orientated; Spock and the Klingon Mindsifter, Emony Dax meeting McCoy, or that bar where the girls are so...😉 

* It's possible that this conflict should involve the Tarellians, not the Talarians.

Calvin and Hobbes
by Bill Watterson

 I finally got around to doing something about July's Art Challenge on Thursday.  Yes, Thursday 2nd August, not July! (Thanks to the challenge setter for extending the deadline)
 While I had an idea, and an extremely rough sketch around the middle of July, I hadn't actually done anything more because of the dratted weather. Like many places, the UK has been (and still is) basking in above average sunshine and temperatures which makes anything but flinging one's self into the sea at any opportunity (rather than, say, sitting at a desk and drawing) quite absurd.
 Anyway, this is my first foray:

Beyond the Groyne at the End-of-the-Line

 I "accidentally" went for a saunter along the beach this morning, inexplicably taking Camera with me, despite saying that I wouldn't do so (to prevent this sort of variation-on-a-theme series of beach photos).  Oh, well...

The Groyne at the End-of-the-Line complete with...

... familiar feathered Familiars

Thursday Swim: Something's Afoot

 Another Thursday means another swim. And, good gods it was lovely down on the beach this morning!  The sea was calmer than I've seen it for a long time (no wind), and although it was high tide, it wasn't all the way up.  I wandered along to my usual spot (same as last Thursday, anyway) away from the few people who were about, and promptly threw myself into the drink. 

Not The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts

 Oh, dear.  The triumphant return of the Freakin' Green Elf Shorts over at Rimpy's has encouraged a glut of imposters to try and nab the spotlight.  Be wary of Freakin' Green Elf Shorts wannabes.
 
 The poor sod on the right here was taken in by someone's claim that they were selling the original pair, but just look at them: 
 The first give away is that this pair of faux Freakin' Green Elf Shorts is clinging suggestively to the dim lunk's taut, muscular buttocks (gods, just look at his arse!).  If these were the real deal, they'd be around his ankles after having been stretched out of shape by second winner Jon's impressive package, and twelfth winner SID's fat arse (see The Very Mistress's Definitive History of the Freakin' Green Elf Shorts for details).  Other clues as to their fakeness: no red waist band, the hemline zig-zags are too large, and his bells are too big!

::    

 Here are a few more of the pretenders to the porcelain throne:

 Walmart's knock-off Freakin' Green Elf Shorts are a surprisingly good copy, but their fakeness is illustrated by the fact that this is a garment for men.  The real Freakin' Green Elf Shorts are unisex, having been donned by Men (Donn!  Eros!), Women (The Very Mistress!  Ms Scarlet!), and those that are in between (Cyberpoof!).

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 Dailing For Dollars has got no hope.  "Condition: Brand new"???  Ha!  These things are nearly 14 years old!  And as for "Care: Machine wash" - Please. The stainage inherent in the Freakin' Green Elf Shorts can never be removed by a mere washing machine.

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 As for the fraudsters on ebay, aside from describing them as "ugly", they're obviously not even trying.  Five pairs to sell?  The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts are unique!  There is only one pair-

 Well, actually, there are two, now.

 What?!

 Rimpy had Queen of the Elf Shorts, Andrea Knapp, clone a new pair because the originals somehow escaped from Princess's clutches.

I bet those vile and contemptible gnomes were to blame...

I think you're right.  Anyway, "Mens" - No!  ""Brand-new, unused, and unworn" - Absolutely not!  "Free of defects, stains, and rips" - Ha ha ha ha haaaa!

The seller did mention "Bottom size: M(assive) L(eviathan) X(traordinarily)L(arge), though...

oOo

 Let's leave the fake-Os and get on with the real deal, shall we?  Below, we have Rimpy Rimpington (and friend) modelling the actual (cloned) Freakin' Green Elf Shorts for the latest caption competition - being held now over at his place!

 If you'd like to feel those detestable polyestables and their suspect stains chafing between your thighs or up your bum crack, go and leave a caption at Rimpy's and you never know: The next winner of the Freakin' Green Elf Shorts could be you!

 Good luck!