Last Call for the Freakin' Green Elf Shorts

 You now have a little more than three days to get to minimum safe distance your Freakin' Green Elf Shorts captions in over at Rimpy's place.  The Freakin Green Elf Short Caption Competition closes at 23:59:59 PDT (Pacific Daylight Time, at a guess?) Wednesday August 15th.  That's this Wednesday, people!

This is the photo of Rimpy in the Freakin' Green Elf Shorts that needs captioning

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 The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts need a new plaything mistress/master, so get your thinking caps on (tin foil, or otherwise) and leave as many witty or pithy captions as you can over at Rimpy's.
 As you can see in the photo on the right, previous winner, Jon from Redcar (Schwing!!!) is thinking long and hard about a caption.

 And just in case you're concerned about winning the Freakin' Green Elf Shorts and the humiliation you may feel by donning them when you hold your own competition, you'll have to go some way to top the humiliation that the following previous winners have experienced:

April Pissoff

Cyberpoof

Bernard Manning and Verne Troyer
Uh, I mean SID (Stupid Irish Daddy)

Strude

Oh... and me

 A full list of past winners can be found in The Very Mistress's exhaustively researched "Definitive History of The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts".

 Now, go and caption away.  Good luck!