Sunday, 31 August 2008

Male synchronised swimming

MJ's last post reminded me that I'd meant to post something about synchronised swimming, mainly the lack of men taking part in it. Oh, and if you're expecting any nudity, you can forget it - This is a wholesome post. Go back to MJ's for your kicks.

I scoured the internets for information about male synchronised swimming, but came up with very little. Well, very little that was actually any good. There were several 'mockumentaries', comedy sketches and completely hopeless, amateur teams. However, the following videos are some of the best:

This first one is a profile of Kenyon Smith, a member of the Santa Clara Aquamaids. Before you ask, he's not gay and I don't fancy him (he was 16 in this video, for goodness sakes).

This one is Kenyon's Tech Solo routine. Just look how far out of the water he gets in his vertical postion (that's when he's upside down with both legs out of the water) - up to his waist!

This one is quite light-hearted, but is a serious routine starring Bill May and Anna Kozlova. Bill was the one of the first recognised U.S. male synchronised swimmers, paving the way for Kenyon Smith.

There is certainly some consternation over the inequality in competitive synchronised swimming. A case can be made for the greater strength inherent in men, enabling them to do higher lifts, etc. However, women are naturally more buoyant and graceful, making the men appear somewhat oafish if they're not exceptionally precise.
Then there are the swimming costumes and trowel-fuls of make up the women have on. They immediately look more spectacular than the men. I was thinking that to counteract this, the men could have some kind of temporary body tattoos?

If anyone needs me, I'll be down at the Riverside pool in my leopard print bikini and pearls, practising for the 2012 Olympics.

Thanks for the picture, MJ.


  1. You simply must rent a Japanese comedy called Waterboys.

    It’s the story of a male synchronized swim team.

    More fun to watch with the subtitles off.

    After a couple of cocktails, of course.

    Oh and click the photo of you in your leopard-print swimsuit to make it bigger.

  2. "Before you ask, he's not gay…"

    That's never stopped you before…

  3. MJ: I kept finding references and links to Waterboys, so I'm sufficiently intrigued to give it a whirl.

    Tim: But he is only 18, which definitely will stop me.

    You're not, though...

  4. Aaaargh! Hands off!!

  5. Awesome! I quite enjoyed all of these vidoes, especially the routines. Although it's true, no one looks good in nose plugs.

  6. That's great. It's nice to know that it's not an all girls sport.

    I can't wait to see you at in 2012. I'll definately be rooting for you.

  7. The only reason there are not many men doing synchronised swimming is.......

    Duh !

  8. Mmm. I'm sort of in the 'freaked out that synchronised swimming is an olympic sport' camp. Those freaky smiles and head tilts, couple with nonsensical hand movements is just... puzzling.

  9. Oh yeah, the head tilts! Those are freaky.

  10. I appreciate the strength it takes to do synchro, but I just can't get into it.

  11. Luv the sync swimmers! The most dazzling and entertaining of all Olympic sports! Like CP, I shall be rooting for you at the London Olympics...hopefully, by then the waterproof Xmas lites swimsuits will be allowed!

    I would luv to see more men in the sport, only because they can do some great jumps and take the sport to a higher level!--also, because I believe other countries are secretly using men in their medal winning teams all ready...

  12. Also kudos on the hat.

    Very something. It takes a certain um lady to pull that off.

    You are not it though.

  13. who needs the synch. swimming when we've got the diving! what a wank-fest that was! (apart from the 14yr old english chicken with the buck teeth of course)

  14. While I find Synchronized swimming a hoot because it's so bizarre, I have to agree with Frobisher.

    We don't really need it. We've already got diving. Matthew Michum and Alexandre Despartie.

    Especially the latter. My Olympic boyfriend.

    Why am I not working? I should not only look busy and important. I should be busy and important. Shame on me.

  15. Tim: Not until you ask nicely.

    Dinah: I'm sure those nose plugs could be made a little less obvious.

    CyberPetra: I sincerely hope that male synchro swimming is recognised at the next Olympics, otherwise all my hard work looking fabulous in the pool will be for naught.

    Beast: It certainly does when you loll about in the shallow end!

    Although, it does look a little strange seeing a man doing it.

    T-Bird: I know what you mean. I really don't get it when the commentators say things like "and you can see the emotion in the routine". I certainly can't, no matter how much they wave their hands around.
    However, they do have amazing strength, endurance, aerobic capacity and grace, which does, quite rightly, make them amazing athletes.

    Dinah: Head tilts (I typed head tits first by accident!) I'm sure are only performed to get the water out of their ears.

    Snooze: Watching or doing?

    Eros: I'm going to have so many lights on my trunks that it'll look like the whole of Oxford St xmas lights jumped in the pool!

    You couldn't possibly mean Russia and China are using men, could you?

    Cyberptera: Damn it! I'll have to go with the swim hat with the rubber flowers all over it, then.

    Frobi: Eww! That 'boy' was just creepy.

    For diving porn go to "The Best Reason Why They Should Totally Make a Porn Movie Set At The Olympics" section at this post at Dinah's.

    'Petra: Shame on you indeed!

  16. Did you shave your bikini region?

  17. I totally hope this becomes an Olympic sport. I think you should put on your leopard print bikini and pearls and heels and march right down to the London 2010 office and demand to be heard!

  18. MJ: Shave?! Heavens, no. A lady waxes.

    Dinah: What do you mean I "should put on"? I'm already wearing them!

  19. Dancing in drink? Not for me thank you.


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