In a book filled parlour, in the royal castle of the kingdom of Cusp, its bored young queen suddenly snapped out of her doze. She'd been having the most peculiar of dreams about a tall tower and being chased by a giant grub.
She pouted her blood red lips and twiddled a lock of her ebony black hair with a finger so fair as to be almost white as snow. She was fed up with settling petty disputes, presiding over official functions and hosting stuffy balls. She glared at the plate of bread and honey on the occasional table beside her. She was sick of that, too, and swiped it onto the floor where it landed with a sticky crash.
"I've got to get out of here" she said to herself as she stared out at the expanse of forest that enclosed the castle's exquisite gardens. It suddenly looked a lot more interesting than just a bunch of old trees.
- - -
In the middle of the forest, in her frou-frou room atop a tall stone tower, a very long haired young woman gazed out at the green vista around her. She sighed heavily, resting her chin in her hands, her elbows leaning on the window sill. She tried to remember the last time she'd had sex, but failed.
"Bugger this" she said. "I'll never nab a man up here." Which was true. The last man to climb her tower was that poofy prince who only wanted to ask where she got her hair coloured.
She gathered up her long tresses, twisting them up into two 'cinnamon buns' either side of her head and pinned them into place with several ferocious looking hair pins. Then, she kicked down the rotten wooden door and stormed down the spiral stone steps to the forest floor hundreds of feet below.
- - -
In a ramshackle old cottage deep in the forest, a blonde haired young woman was instructing her sister on all the chores that had to be done in this, their ancient grandmother's home.
"And then you have to empty her po in the cess pit out back. After that, she'll need a bed bath. Remember to use a clean cloth, not the one you wipe the po out with... Unless the old bat's been particularly cantankerous."
The sister opened her mouth to ask a question, but before she could do so, she was interrupted.
"Strewth! I'm sick to death of this. If you don't know how to take care of the crotchety old bag by now, you never will! I'm off" the young woman declared, peering out of the small window and into the dark forest. Her sister stared in open mouthed shock as she pulled her red hood up and strode out of the cottage and into the densely packed trees.
- - -
At the edge of the forest, a devastatingly handsome prince looked back at his castle for a final time before plunging into the overgrown brush beneath the trees. He had traded his princely finery for the less conspicuous garb of a woodcutter so as to pass through the forest unnoticed.
He hefted his huge, but not unwieldy or out of proportion, axe onto his shoulder and set off for the heart of the forest, determined to boldly go where no man had gone before!
- - -
Just above the forest canopy, aboard a slow flying ash broom, sat a witch.
After a particularly long day thwarting the plans of a thieving, obnoxious, conniving trespassing, pig-tailed, witch-murdering farm girl, the witch just wanted to get back to his suspiciously edible-looking home and relax in front of the fire with a gin or twelve and a good book. However, movement below, caught his eye...
To be continued...