Now, contrary to public opinion (Eeeeucch! The public), these are some of the things I did not do whilst in London:
Tube cruising
Get plastic surgery
Or botox
See The Queen
'See' any queens
Scope out a man* (that's 'scope', not 'scoop'...)
Dye my grey - not ginger - hair
Buy a dodgy syrup
Be an escort or 'travelling companion'
Drugs
Girlishly scream: EEEEEEK!
Write the next post - I'll do it tomorrow
I did, however, forget myself and have fun. Christ, I was even happy for nearly 24 consecutive hours! And, I didn't spend any money. Which was handy, because I didn't have any. I have now though, as today is payday.
* Despite waiting on the corner of Oxford St. and Regent St. outside H&M for a good 15 minutes. I think all the hot men must've still been at home in Shepperton...
Grey hair is pretty sexy - but what about a rich, redbush?
ReplyDeleteI do believe it would become you.
Oh, yeah.
ReplyDeleteF
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Actually, a huge bravo to whomever coined the term "firsticle".
Haaaa! at T-Bird. She funny girl.
ReplyDeleteI see you've managed to replace your "EEEEK!" with a "Eeeeucch!" Still screamed girlishly, though.
You forgot yourself? Which one of yourselves? Is he still standing on a Tube platform? I wish we could forget yourself as easily.
Today is payday? Post when you get back from the docks, then.
Y'know T-Bird, a wealthy coppertop on my arm would be very becoming. Step forward Mr Lewis!
ReplyDeleteAs for Firsticle - I'd love to say I made it up that time at yours, but it's more likely that I'd subconsciously seen it somewhere else. So kudos to whoever it was.
MJ: Bah! We've just had a ferocious hailstorm, so payday will have to wait.
Ferocious Hailstorm? Did an army of nuns pass by chanting to the Holy Mother? Did an image of the blessed mother appear in your pudding?...or has your new look from London caused them to mistake you for the Virgin?
ReplyDeleteAre you aware that your Hags have been visiting my blog?
ReplyDeleteI'm certain you are mistreating them or they would stay put here.
I welcome them and will treat them right.
Eros: Well, I did see *a* nun. And she was muttering something...
ReplyDeleteAs for New Look: There's no way anyone could be mistaken for a virgin once wearing some of their tat!
MJ: I am aware, yes.
I would never mistreat the Hags. Well, with one possible exception, that is...
I'm certain that they're just broadening their horizons. I have warned them not to get to close to your horizon, lest they fall over the edge.
I can't talk for any others, but at least one of the hot men was in Holborn enjoying pancakes with some friends while you were angling for business on a street corners…
ReplyDeleteI'm going to let that 'mistreat' comment go for now, because I know you old people with grey hair are prone to saying bizarre things as your brain turns to mush.
Tim: Show us your kebab.
ReplyDeleteTim: Holburn? So close, yet so far.
ReplyDeleteBrain turns to mush? So close, yet so f-
Hang on. That might be true.
Bugger.
MJ: Yeah, Tim.
Having fun without spending money?
ReplyDeleteWhere you making money then?
That's neither here nor there, SID.
ReplyDeleteMJ - Oi oi!
ReplyDeleteIf I become a male fag hag, does that just make me a fag?
ReplyDeleteNo, tickers, I think it would make you a fhag.
ReplyDeleteI don't really like the terms 'fag' or 'hag' but I guess it's better to own a term like that than let dipshits use it and abuse it.
Kebab? I'd settle for his baps. Geez, I have been a bit naughty with my comments lately, and it feeeeeeels gooooood.
Why does everyone suddenly want a piece of me?
ReplyDeletePoor Tim. I don't want a piece of you.
ReplyDeleteI want all of you!
Heh heh heh heh!
What do you mean 'suddenly'?
ReplyDeleteTickers is a "fhag." Ha, T-Bird.
ReplyDeleteHe's just a bit poofy too, is what he is.
Tim: If you're too shy to send me a photo of your kebab, I'll settle for a photo of your arse.
Quit stalling you dirty bitch.
IMJ, I'm just a little bit turned on when you speak to me like that…
ReplyDeleteTIM: Get down on your knees when you speak to me.
ReplyDeleteMore dirty talk when you send the pic.
Rawr!
ReplyDeleteHey I work in Holdborn!
ReplyDeleteAlas, the H&M on Oxford St. I know it, horatio. That's where I purchased my Rambo (timbo?) jacket from which sadly was kidknapped by militants over the Christmas period.
Just what the Hell is going on here!?!?
ReplyDeleteTim succumbing to MJ's nefarious whims? That's just not on! Besides Tim, MJ's more of a man than I am - You'll be better off with me (just give her that arse pic first).
Careful Skillz. Perhaps you'd better see if H&M do a flak jacket - You might get caught in Tim & MJ's sordid crossfire!