So the government thinks that nasty old petrol engined cars are gas guzzling monstrosities that spew out noxious fumes by the tank-load? Ha!
Car has just proved that it's not a greedy planet-killer by averaging 47.8mpg on the trip to see The Parents today. And again on the way back! It would've been 49.5mpg on the return journey, but some retarded spacker drivers held me up by dithering at junctions, not a mile from my home, bringing the average back down. And I wasn't driving like an old woman, either. I kept up with the traffic and even had loads of power draining things going, like lights, windscreen wipers, climate control and CD player (playing Shakespears Sister quite loudly)!
The government regulated, manufacturers quoted average miles per gallon figure for a 2.0 litre Alfa 156, is 33 mpg. That's 33! Car has trounced that figure by slightly exceeding the figure quoted for the 1.9l diesel version at 47mpg.
Who's a good Car, then? Who is? Yes, you! I love you, Car!
Right, The Government. Where's my road tax refund?
It probably won't start tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteAnd you've got a CD player in the car? Are you sure it's not vinyl - or an 8-track?
Of course it's a CD player!
ReplyDeleteWhat else would it be with that little wind up handle and the big curvy trumpet/speaker thing?
And the dog sitting in the footwell.
ReplyDeleteHmmm…
I read it quickly and thought it said "I love you, Carl". Which is either a secret admission, or a really good name for a car.
ReplyDeleteI miss my car now. She was so good to me. I love reading about your affection for Car.
ReplyDeleteThey let you drive? They'll give a license to anyone over there, apparently.
ReplyDeleteFancy checking up on your fuel consumption. You sad nerd......
ReplyDeleteActually, I've recently done the same myself with the MKII GTI. Driving my normal routine at slightly illegal speeds has me averaging 29.5 MPG. £60 per week fuel bill which will increase by 30% when I change over to 8 instead of 12 hour shifts means I'll have to get a motorcylce of start using the Reliant again.
Dinah: Or maybe it's a sign! I'm going to get a boyfriend called Carl - Yay! Goodbye Singletondom, Hello Smug Married!
ReplyDeleteOr not.
Snooze: Did she have a name? What happened to her?
Rimside: Who says I have a license?
Kidding. I'm just kidding, if you're reading this DVLA/Police etc.
Tickers: You mean the Reliant hasn't dissolved yet? Good gods!
My original was falling apart. Oh, but what times we had together. The 'new' one was not the same.
ReplyDeleteOooh...nice ride. Not only stylish, but fuel efficient. Does it also transform?
ReplyDeleteSnooze: The 'bangers' are often the most fun. Prior to Car, I drove an '85 Nissan Sunny coupe in 'old-man-blue'. Unfortunately, it would never fall apart, which meant I kept it for seven years.
ReplyDeleteI'm just hoping Car lasts that long. It's just over five now...
Eros: I'm sure it does when I'm not looking. Many's the time I've noticed it being filthier and more scratched than the last time I drove it. Heaven only knows what it gets up to!