Sunday, 30 September 2007

Lucky escape

You know how when you see someone you fancy in a crowded bar, and your friends say "Go and speak to them" and you say "But I don't know what to say" and they practically force you to, saying "But you'll know once you get their attention", well, that's bollocks! Don't listen to them. They know shit all. All that comes out of your mouth is utter crap - Well, all that came out of my mouth was utter crap, anyway.

I'm thankful, actually. Up close, he was a right mess!


  1. Looking in the mirror again IVD?

  2. I'm so terrible at it...but I get quite talky when I've had a few, and end up saying whatever pops into my head. Glad you dodged that one, though.

  3. "Your sleeves are real pretty" followed by a yokel laugh. Don't ever listen to friends.

    Bad luck IDV!

  4. Anonymous30/9/07 07:42

    I gather you must be used to that situation by now, right?

    The things friends do for a laugh, eh?

  5. Were you still wearing The Shorts?

  6. You vomited crap on him?! That's rude!

  7. some friends need slapping round the face with a wet fish

  8. SID: At least all of me can fit in the mirror.

    Dinah: At that point I had had a few, and more, but it still wasn't to be.

    Dora: That is actually much better than what I managed to spit out.
    I'll try it next time.

    P&T: Well, I had the last laugh because they didn't manage to get rid of me thanks to my inability to grasp the rudimentaries of the English language.

    MJ: I guess that would've been a talking point.

    If anyone was left in the pub after they clocked me arriving, that is...

    Tim: He started it by being unattractive up close!

    Gleds: * pops out to the fishmongers *

  9. Gledwood, I do believe some friends might enjoy that sort of activity--with or without the dental dam...

    IDV, I see you've had a close encounter with a Monet--those who look fine from afar, but are a complete mess up close...Those people should be locked up in a museum where we can stare at them all day, not let loose in a bar inducing vomiting from the general unsuspecting public.

  10. Monet! That was it. I can't believe I'd forgotten, especially as I'm an avid Clueless fan.

    His hair was a bit Cubist Picasso, but his body looked quite Tom of Finland!

  11. I'm sure you would have been witty and charming had the close up of the guy been attractive. Instead your drunken mind was dealing with suddenly trying to replace the intended pick-up line with polite but distant banter.

  12. I am going to need an explanation about this 'Tom of Finland' fella.

    Glad you dodged that particular bullet... it could have been mentally scarring!

  13. Snooze: Yes! You're right. That's it exactly.

    * kicks self for not thinking of ot sooner *

    T-Bird: Here's Tom.

    I was going to link to the wiki site but it wasn't dirty enough...

  14. Anonymous1/10/07 10:47

    C'mon, it's next month now. Post something new!

  15. Fuck off, you impatient cunt!

    I'll get to it later...

  16. A bit snappy today, aren't we?

    That time of the month?

  17. No, I think it's the menopause.

    I've had so many hot flushes that I feel like a nuclear toilet.

  18. It can't be all that bad, MJ tells me you've had more arse than a toilet seat

  19. It wasn't the menopause after all. I was just standing too near the cauldron, which for some reason, was set to 'broil'.

    Sorry Piggy & Tazzy.

    And CyberPlop? You should know by now not to listen to eveything MJ tells you.
    Pass the bleach, please.

  20. *sigh* Now I am ruined. Damn you, Tom of Finland!

  21. You're ruined?

    What about me? I'm never going to find someone who likes that that (the subjects of the drawings, not old Tom himself)!

    Although, Blacksmith gives them a good run for their money...

  22. No need to be so cruel, I'm 53 years old for fucks sake. Anyway, when I heard the crap come out of your mouth, I was reassured nothing had changed.

  23. Ohh, Tickers, I like old. Well, older, not decrepit...

    See there I go again. To make matters worse, I've just realised that instead of saying "I'm never going to find someone who likes that that" in reply to T-Bird, I should've said "I'm never going to find someone who looks like that".


Tickle my fancy, why don't you?