Thursday, 16 March 2006

Cheapest impact

What a mess!

I couldn't get out of Stinky's universe quickly enough. There was filth and mess everywhere. Well, all over her Earth, anyway. Overturned cars, broken buildings, floods of water and, horror of horrors, swathes of ASDA shopping trolleys and carrier bags built up into great drifts in and about the vile estates from which the stores grow.

After I'd "dropped into" Blacksmith, I took one look around and gave up the ghost, so to speak. There was no way I could do anything meaningful or lasting to this place unless I stayed.

Uh oh!

Turning to TGOC Parallel Universe I said "Stinky, you do realise that I can't possibly do anything here? Other than cast a glamour over things to make them look better. And that'd be pretty localised and wouldn't last more than a day or two."

"Of course I do. I'm not completely stupid" she replied. "You can stay and help us sort everything out. I know there're some long lasting restorative spells that you can do."

There it was: "You can stay".

Not on your bloody life! Or death. Or spectral form. Whatever.

Shit. How was I going to get out of this one without appearing rude?


"Oh bugger" I said. "I've think I've left the oven on."


  1. yey I'm the primary commentator.

    She'll never fall for it, her type never do. You're just going to have to stand firm.

  2. Hark at you and your way with words!

    I never gave her the chance - I was out of there like shot. One of those ASDA carrier bags was blown on to my foot - I screamed to high heaven and vacated Blacksmith quicker than... quicker than... quicker than?


    Suggestions please.

  3. Oliver Reed from a Brighton steam room?

  4. Oh god, Stinky's universe sounds hideously like the land where I grew up; all that's missing are the markets and the rampant overindulgence in faux Burberry- the whole place is a prime example of why Thatcherism was a bad idea.

  5. so did the oven line work?

  6. Only just. I thought I was going to have to mention the iron, too!


Tickle my fancy, why don't you?