Familiarisation

I put this poster up last week because I needed a new familiar:

WANTED

Familiar needed for light witching duties

and occasional dusting.

 

Must be clean, honest and

able to work Sundays.

 

Must not have a fixation on eyeballs,

need to moult constantly and

have ideas above station.

 

Especially must not have desire to take over World.

Imperialistic, snobby blackbirds

will NOT be considered

 

The response was less than disappointing.

The only creatures that turned up were a bumblebee, a starling*, a rabbit and a giraffe (?!).

In the end, I plumped for the rabbit. What it lacks in manual dexterity, it more than makes up for in dusting-under-beds-and-chairs ability. Also, for a rabbit, it has an exceedingly good tolerance of heights, which is always a bonus when one's preferred mode of transportation is by broom.

It also reminds me of a rabbit I had as a child. The rabbit in question was a particularly vicious little sod and loved nothing better than to chase my youngest sister, Inexcuseable, through the house, biting and scratching her ankles.

Ah... Happy memories!

 

* The starling came with a recommendation from the unfortunately named Elizabeth Swallox, a witch I only know through reputation. Poor Betty...

 

EDIT Monday, 20th March 14:19

Just in case anyone's curious about the amount and content of this Post's comments, you'd better go and read the parallel comments at Tickersoid's too, for the full effect. Don't bother about Frobisher's: he's obviously at work or something...