Monday, January 24, 2011
A rose by any other name...
Well, luckily, this rose is actually named Roses! And, yes, she does smell as sweet.
How do I know this? Why, let me tell you a story...
It was a Sunday afternoon. Yesterday, in fact. I had decided to pop into the city to purchase a present for SP - It's his birthday on 6th Feb, you see. However, knowing the parking is horrendous, I decided to take a chance and risk flying in on Broom in the hope that I could land surreptitiously somewhere and disguise my ride as a dead bush, or something.
I should have known it would never be that simple...
Everything was going swimmingly - or flyingly - until I neared the Lanes. There was sufficient low altitude cloud cover to obscure me from the commoners below, and enough chimneys and other rooftop furniture to allow me to descend into a back alley without being seen.
What I hadn't counted on was a flock of roosting pigeons being startled into flight by the sudden strident tones of a, frankly rubbish, busker.
Broom's bristles were soon overcome by the battering of desperately ascending pigeons, as was I. I must've looked like Tippi Hedren from The Birds except not on a boat. Anyway, Broom gave up the ghost and started a headlong plummet, luckily, straight into a deserted Old Post Office Yard which is right next to Frank's Bar. Unluckily, there was someone right where I hadn't intended to land.
"Ow!" she said as I clonked her on the elbow with Broom as I swerved at the last minute.
"Oof!" I said after hitting the trellis in the courtyard.
"What the Hell?!" she exclaimed, advancing on me while rubbing her elbow.
"I'm terribly sorry" I began in way of apology. "I didn't- Roses? Is that you!?"
It seemed I had the luck (she obviously didn't) to nearly land on Norwich's only other Infomaniac Bitch - Someone for whom I wouldn't have to make up a ridiculously convoluted story about why I hit her with a broomstick. Yay! I'd clobbered someone I knew!
Anyway, we found ourselves in Frank's Bar enjoying coffee, bread and cakes as we whiled away the afternoon and got to know each other. Look, here we are smiling and everything*:
Roses really is as beautiful as her name. And she's generous - She bought me coffee and cake, even after I almost squashed her!
It's my turn to buy next time, though.
You can read all about Roses version of events - scurrilous lies, the lot of it - here.
* Well, Roses is smiling. I think I'm muttering or something. Why I didn't stop when I took the photo I don't know!