Friday, February 16, 2007

Forsooth, it is the Apocalypse!


There will be massive electrical storms, the likes of which have never been seen.

There will be an intense, baking heat, the like of which has never been felt.

We will eat naught but burning hot coals, and drink naught but burning hot cola.

Flesh will char on bone.

Rock will dissolve to dust.

Metal will flow like water.

Air will -



Oh, hang on...



False alarm. I'd left the oven on again.

24 comments:

  1. * pushes Piggy into the oven *

    That's tomorrow's dinner sorted.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Poor Piggy. Still, I am glad it's not the apocalypse.

    ReplyDelete
  3. If you stuff an apple into Piggy's mouth, we can have baked apple for dessert.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I really, really like this one! It actually looks like a very pretty apocalypse to tell you the truth.

    Burning hot cola? I snorted my drink out of my nose!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Snooze: Poor Piggy? He called me a cunt!

    MJ: Yum! As long as it's not getting stuffed in the other end...

    T-Bird: Well, if the Apocalypse is going to be brought about by a Gayer, of course it's going to be pretty!

    As for the burning hot cola, I con't claim that as my own. I stole it from Reverend Lovejoy.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Piggy's just waiting for the Four Whoresmen

    ReplyDelete
  7. That's cooooool... It's almost like one of those magic eye things - I swear the more I look at it the more things I can see!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Coldearth? Fucking Coldearth? Someone's a bit behind the times aren't they?

    Anyway (fave word)... You spout lies. I didn't call you a 'cunt'. I called you a 'stupid cunt'.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Coldearth/SID: C'mon, drag yourself out of that grave to watch Piggy 'accomodate' the 4 whores.

    Tim: If you can see a bit of peperoni, could you pick it out - It slid off my pizza the other night. Thanks!

    Piggy: My mistake. I tend not to take much notice of nasty, northern, little poofs.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Looks like something done by a 30 year old on paint...

    ReplyDelete
  11. Called 'IVF'.

    And much older looking than 30, judging by the 'I wank too much' lines around the eyes.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Why, thank you, Jingo. And I'd only drunk half a can...

    Oh Piggy, you're just jealous because you're practically old enough to be my father.

    And you can't hold yours in your trotters!

    ReplyDelete
  13. I'm getting warmer just looking at this. And, considering that it's snowing outside, that is a really good thing!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Huddle up, Dinah. Here's a stick and a marshmallow...

    ReplyDelete
  15. Tee hee! Someone said 'wank to much' lines around eyes! I spouting burning hot cola as we speak!

    I find dermalogica total eye repair does the job. No one suspects how much time I spend worshipping in the Temple of Onanism.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hang on -- no -- you were right the first time it IS the apocalypse!!

    ReplyDelete
  17. That "burnt sienna" is just the shade I was looking at for the bedroom

    ReplyDelete
  18. is that meant to be like an ink blot test?

    Hmmm... what do I see...

    (A Twat. A hungry devouring twat) ...a kitten?

    ReplyDelete
  19. A hungry, devouring twat?

    Dude, that is the funniest thing since burning hot cola!

    peee ess. Twats are more afraid of you than you are of them.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I came here at the right time in the line of conversation obviously.

    Hungry Twat??? Ummm...if it looked like that I would get them to seek medical attention.

    Or get a marshmallow and a stick and see what happens.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I'm sure you'd like me to be your 'Daddy'.

    You would, wouldn't you? You dirty little minx.

    ReplyDelete
  22. T-Bird, Skillz & Dora: A hungry, devouring twat certainly would be the end of my world!

    Frobi: But would it not make you think you're being eaten by a giant twat?

    P&T: * vomits *

    Mutley: Ooh, you're about 5 minutes too early...

    ReplyDelete