I had found a few apples at the bottom of the fruit bowl that had shrivelled somewhat. Totally useless for poisoning and feeding to some vain, selfish little emo who thinks she can just wrap her father around her little finger and get him to spend all his hard earned money on her, rather than his attentive new boyfriend. Bitch.
What was I saying? Oh, yes. Apples.
Anyway, rather than just chuck them in the bin, I put the apples outside on the dining room window sill with the intention of throwing them on the compost heap. Needless to say, I forgot about them. They were in such a position that, when leaving the house, they weren't in line of sight, therefore, out of sight, out of mind. However, on my way into the house, I can see them, and every time I do, I think I must remember to chuck those apples onto the compost heap.
Except for yesterday.
Yesterday, as I approached the back door, I noticed that two of the apples had been attacked! At first I thought perhaps mice had had a go, but on closer inspection it appeared that the apples had been stabbed several times by a small, but very sharp instrument then torn apart and had the flesh removed. Quite macabre!
This morning, when I went outside to empty the kitchen compost bin onto the 'heap, I felt like I was being watched as I manouevered down the back passage. Despite twisting this way and that with furiously darting eyes - and nearly falling over with dizziness - I could see nothing to corroborate my feeling, yet I was sure there was something there.
It wasn't until I had sat down with a cup of coffee that something caught my eye:
A flash of black through the zantedeschia leaves.
The quick flapping of shadowed wings beyond the chlorophytum.
The scrape of claws on wood.
A yellow ringed orb of evil glaring balefully through the cold glass.
Shitting Hell! It was Beaky!
I flinched slightly, before recovering my composure. Well, this was a turn up for the books. Beaky's evil schemes for world domination had obviously come to naught. Now he's reduced to scavenging scraps. How the mighty have fallen.