Sunday 2 April 2006

Close Encounters of the Third Kind

You've harangued me in your multitudes (well, four of you did), so here is the porn:

(Naked) Knight slammed the front door, spun around and launched himself at me (us).

"Wait!" What was I doing? Why was I putting this off? "What are you doing?"

"Something I've wanted to do for a long while now" NK said, pressing himself against me (Blacksmith) and standing on tiptoes to kiss me (us).

Yes! I mean "Get off! This isn't me."

Suddenly, Blacksmith's metal pants surged over my (BS's) body, getting thinner as they stretched over my (his) muscular frame until I (BS) was covered, head to foot except for my (BS's) face, with a shiny metal skin! It appeared to be some kind of anti-'poking' shield, a defence mechanism of the subconscious' doing.

"There" I said, smugly. What? I was doing it again! How could I not want him?

NK backed off slightly, a surprised look on his face. He dipped his head and looked down between us.

"Aw, yeah!"

"Huh?" I looked down too. " - ! - "

Well! I've never been so impressed. And I (BS) certainly was impressed - hard into NK's abs. It was bigger than his and covered in metal too! The Host must've left his subconscious here. This inappropriate poking must be his doing.

I started feeling a bit dizzy. Maybe because there were four of us vying for space and control in Blacksmith's head? Or maybe because of the massive blood loss from my (BS's) brain to my (his) extreme extremity? Knight took advantage and pushed me (BS) to the foot of the stairs, releasing his 'opportunity' from his jeans.

My subconscious gave up and the metal skin shrank back on itself to form a band around each of my (BS's) forearms. With this lapse of concentration, the Host's subconscious took control, leaving Blacksmith's consciousness loitering at the back of his mind. He seemed very obliging to all this and I sensed a voyeuristic streak was being satisfied. Physically, he turned out to be most accommodating...

Well! I have never been so infiltrated in my lives.

Wait. Did I say 'infiltrated'? I meant 'infiltrated'.

Damnit! I mean 'infiltrated'!


* Yes. That's the word...


  1. Yey I'm first. I haven't read it yet, just wanted to be first

  2. Do I still have to cough up £2.50?

    Anyway why should Fuckkit and I pay for male gay porn?

  3. Yes you do!

    Because you're 1% (at least) gay and Fuckkit loves it!

  4. I already gave you my £2.50 so you can fuck off if you think I'm coughing up again.

  5. If I'm only 1% gay, I should only pay 2.5p.

  6. Good points well made, you two.

    * fucks off *

  7. *looks triumphant and raids IDV's cupboards for more brownies*

  8. I'm confused. Do I still have to pay?

  9. Oi! Guts! Get out of my cupboards - those last two brownies are saved for someone at work.

    KG: Yes, for that terrible "bone" pun : )

  10. Someone at work? Well while we're on the subject of work, 17 working days left for me :D

  11. Was that it???!!

    *Jackie Collins breathes a sigh of relief that her career is still safe*

  12. Bugger is such a wonderful word.

  13. I quite like Cunterblast, as immortalised by Fry & Laurie.

    Frobi: I only posted the tame version - couldn't bring myself to let you all know the sordid details. Perverts!

  14. I like piss flaps....the word.....well them and the word.

    When you say 'work' do you mean 'wandering into the day centre having read the papers down the public library'?

  15. And having been to the supermarket to get in everyone's way as I buy hairnets and dog food, before driving slowly along main roads and dithering at roundabouts & junctions. Yes. That's what I mean by work!

  16. What? Yes is the word?? No. Bugger's the word.

  17. Beef curtains is also a good un. Although we appear to have digressed from knobs to lady bits.

  18. I like "lady gardens" - a nice description, if somewhat misleading

  19. "she's got one like a mouses ear"

  20. eeuww.

    and blimey, idv, what on earth is going on round here? it's all gone a bit saucy.

    um....front bottom?


Tickle my fancy, why don't you?