Oof! I'm back.
I dropped a penny the other day, turned and stooped to pick it up and accidently spun into a different universe. The one with the brown jelly babies!
The little bleeders were everywhere. It's sinister the way they creep up on a target and intimidate them before going in for the kill. Its a good job I had my wits about me - and working legs and arms, for that matter. There're no specials in that universe - they were among the first to be picked off, along with the elderly and infirm, unattended babies and toddlers and the self absorbed.
Such was the shock of ending up penny-less, that I fell over! Normally, I'm not so clumsy, but I was practically on my hands and knees anyway when I lost my balance after reaching for the penny that was left in this universe. At that point I hadn't realised exactly where I was or I wouldn't have done what I did next.
Mortified at the thought of being seen to have fallen over, like the clumsy, ham-fisted person I most definitely am not, I feigned unconsciousness/death. I hoped to be ignored by anyone that may have been around, just like anyone that falls in this universe is. Well, either that or laughed at. While I was lying there, I peered out through narrowed, squinting eyes, checking out my surroundings. I couldn't hear anyone and couldn't detect people-sized movement either so I opened my eyes wide and started to get up.
That's when I noticed them. Surrounding me were dozens of tiny brown creatures, some with patches of white on them. They were advancing on me incredibly slowly. Blinking a couple of times to focus better I saw what they were.
I have never moved so fast in my life! Luckily, the unbaptised boy fat was still coursing through my veins (actually, most of it had congealed in my arteries, threatening to give me a heart attack - another reason witches prefer assisted flight with brooms to non-assisted 'fat' flight) so I moved straight up.
The expressions on their evil little faces was lost on me at the distance I was from them but I could tell by their movements that they were less than pleased. Breathing a sigh of relief, I left the little sods and flew off to find a wide, open space to gather myself where they couldn't sneak up on me.
Anyway, the reason I've been away so long is that I didn't know the right anti-spin to get back here. I got to the Brown Jelly Baby Universe by accident so I had to recreate the spin that got me there then work out the anti-spin to leave it. It took days. And several unintended, unofficial visits to other, less bizarre, universes.
The moral of this story is: Don't bother picking up dropped pennies. They're not worth the hassle. Or is it: Be careful how you spin? Either one works...