Walking Through Rain And Not Getting Wet

Since "dropping in" to my Host and amalgamating our psyches, I've found myself pondering the science behind the magic I do. I think this is because, in general, the male-wired brain is more adept at technical matters than the average female-wired brain. Of course, this means that the male-wired brain has sacrificed space used by more useful applications like emotions, common sense, intelligence (not to be confused with knowledge) and social graces, to name but a few. There are exceptions but as this post is not about such matters I'll get on with the point.

Not getting wet in the rain is an aquired skill.

Yes you could stay indoors. Or put an umbrella up if you simply must go out. But how about not bothering with that cumbersome and unflattering object?

This is how:

Aim yourself for the closest raindrop, spin all parts of yourself counterclockwise (very important this - never go clockwise) through spacetime until you spread out between the drops and start curling back towards your epicentre. Within a couple of seconds you should have caught the rhythm of the rain and be able to manoueuver with relative ease through the shower.

An added bonus is that to an observer you will look just like your normal self rather than a multi-tendrilled thing in the rain. This is because the light bouncing off your tendrils as they curl back around the drops actually gets refracted by passing through the raindrops. The refracted light naturally coalesces at your epicentre producing an image of your normal-spacetime self. You must remember to keep all parts of you within the rain because any tendrils out of the shower cannot have their images refracted back. This could cause some... concern, shall we say, to passers by.

Warning: Don't try this if you're easily distracted. An unplanned exit from counterspin spacetime could leave you spread out across the countryside and give a whole new meaning to the term "pull yourself together".

There. My work here is done!

And for those of you concerned about my suddenly aquired social life: fear not. It was for one night only. Pizza, wine and a DVD beckons tonight. And I've sorted the subtitles problem. It seems there's a button on the remote that can turn them on (or off) despite specifying no subtitles in the set up menu. Ridiculous...