Thursday, 23 February 2006


Next month, this body and half it's mind will be twentyeleven. Despite much of our twentytenth year (I know, technically we're already in our twentyeleventh year) attempting to resist time's inexorable flow, it appears that we've failed. Time is continuing regardless.

Yesterday, however, we found ourself looking forward to starting our twentytwelfth year. The only reason for this line of thinking was seeing two books we want that would be ideal presents to give us. They are: How Not To Decorate by the lovely Colin & Justin, and The City Garden Bible by the adorable Matt James.

Aren't we easily pleased!

We've already started hinting, having let slip which books we saw where and how much they were, to the most convenient friend. It is our hope that he will get one (probably the cheapest) and inform our mutual couple-friends that they could get the other as they are bound to ask him what we want.

For anyone out there who has an excess of money they want to get rid of, we also want a new house! Just a thought...


  1. Anonymous23/2/06 15:54

    Well my next burpday is in April. April 5th to be precise.

    I'll have reached the double-four figure, which I'm told is the half way point, which is kind of scary.

    I still only look 26 though, unlike eveyone else around me of my age.

    For my birthday, which you now have plenty of advance notice of, I'd like:

    1. A packet of chocolate limes
    2. A bottle of Jack Daniels
    3. A packet of Salt 'n' Vinegar crisps
    4. A cuddle
    5. The best shag I've ever had.

    You may choose from any of the first 4.

    Ps: Would you like a Tazzy and Piggy card to help you celebrate? If so, email us your addy and one of our choosing will be on it's way to you.

  2. Anonymous23/2/06 15:55

    Oh bollocks, forgot to say 'Yay! I'm first!'

    Yay! I'm first!

    And second!

  3. Crikey! You certainly don't look it, you lucky git!

    I'll be on the look out for a big box to mail myself to you for number 4. If there's space, I might consider 1, 2 & 3. Although it's highly likely that I'd've consumed them while in the postal system.

  4. As Jack would say twentytwelve, thats sixty four in 'gay years'.

  5. Holy crap! Might as well give up the ghost now.

  6. Anonymous23/2/06 22:26

    oooh it's birthdays everywhere! When did it become one of those things everyone had and not just me? Will some warm fuzzy thoughts do? I think the yaucht (spelling? large boat, you know what I mean...) I bought you may get stuck in the post. Bloody royal mail.

  7. Well, they've managed to lose this weeks heat magazine (grrrrr...) so I don't hold my hopes out for receiving a yot (I'm not even going to attempt it).

  8. spring is in the air-birthdays everywhere.

    What's the date of your birth then?

    in case I forget-Happy Birthday in advance :-)

  9. Oh yes, birthday's the 22nd March.

  10. Anonymous24/2/06 09:36

    And mine's the 25th March!! I will be twentytenandseven. Mrs C's was yesterday and she was a sprightly twentytenandsix.

    I'm not so materialistic that I would ask total strangers to get me presents but if anyone should feel in the mood I would like a bottle of single malt, the last two Dark Towers books and free lessons on how to walk in the rain without getting wet.

  11. I wouldn't worry about twentyeleven - in hobbit terms, you're only just winding up the "irresponsible tweens", and aren't even a grown-up! So don't panic just yet...

    I've found that post-it notes stuck to people's foreheads work well when you're hinting at a particularly choicy gift. Anything else falls on deaf ears.

  12. Maybe an amazon wish list? Since it's a little too rainy for post-it notes. It even has the delightfully charming function where you can email it to everyone you know.
    Materialism? Realism? Or plain rudeness?
    As an un-birthday gift, will you teach us all to walk in rain without getting wet?

  13. Convict & Imogen: I'll do my best to teach you the finer points of counterclockwise spinning and manoeuvering through those pesky raindrops!

    Maybe I could produce a pamphlet?

  14. Birthdays are weird things, as is age. As soon as January arrives, I automatically tell people that I'm the age that I'll be my next birthday, despite the fact that my next birthday is nine months away. I guess this is down to me being fucking stupid more than anything else.

    I must say, I've noticed the addition of a fair bit of colour to your language since you started mixing with those nasty little Yorkshire perverts. Well done!

  15. Yes, their insidious filthiness has certainly got to the Host. I, myself, have managed to resist, so far.

    Although, I must admit, you're quite influential yourself!

  16. I'll be sure to remember that you want a house when I become famous :)


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