Thursday, 12 January 2006

The most stressful two hours of my life

Gaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Fucking fuck fuck fuck. Fucking piece of crap! Why must everything be so fucking shit?!


* deep inhalation of calming, calming air *

I'd sat down to watch Millenium, which arrived in the post yesterday. I'd been looking forward to this all day. It's one of my favourite 80's films. I had a glass of sauvignon blanc and a sticky toffee pudding with Sainsbury's Taste the Difference custard. A perfect evening.

Or so I thought.

The disk started to skip bits of the film. Calmly, I skipped back and watched them, not being too concerned because I'd seen the film loads of times before, but it would've been nice to watch without any interruptions. Then came chapter 11.

Bloody bollocky shitting queynting fucking chapter 11 to give it its proper name.

It skipped and skipped and skipped, so much so that I thought I'd gone back in time myself to the school playground where girls, effeminate boys (i.e. me) and skipping ropes abounded.
No matter how many times I tried skipping forwards then backwards, pausing, stopping restarting, taking the fucking disk out of the Christing machine, turning it off, reloading, kicking it across the room (I didn't really do that last kicking bit) and checking the disk for microscopic traces of dust or grime then carefully wiping it and blowing into the arsing machine, it still. Didn't. WORK!

Bastarding fucking Christing Hell!

Hmmm... I feel marginally better.

* Thank you S.I.D. at Tina's.


  1. Mr DeVice! We're not used to this kind of language from you, a pillar of the community!

    (Gasps and holds lace hankey to mouth)

    Hope you got it sorted, poppet!

  2. If by sorted, you mean DVD is going to be ignored for the next two years, then yes. it's sorted :(

    And apologies for the language. Most unbecoming. Good job the old witch was having an Out Of (My) Body Experience at the time... And still is, come to think of it. I wonder where she's gone now?

  3. My, how very scandalous!
    Especially since I've just checked what queynte means- although its fully justified; Millennium IS a fabulous film.

  4. Anonymous13/1/06 20:39

    I sympathise. Was going to recommend downloading films, but I waited 4hours for an episode of Lost (yes, sad, ok!) to download only to recoil in horror when i went to watch it, and it was that blooming 'Elf' film. Shocking.

  5. Kris Kristofferson, Cheryl Ladd and Daniel J Travanti! Top cast!

  6. Just checking something: I changed the comment settings because the time was an hour out but don't think I've done it right. We'll soon see after this is published...

  7. Bugger! It didn't work. Back I go...

  8. I think some of your visitors were rather shocked and appalled by that little outburst.

    It's always good when the quiet ones kick off.


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