Gaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Fucking fuck fuck fuck. Fucking piece of crap! Why must everything be so fucking shit?!
* deep inhalation of calming, calming air *
I'd sat down to watch Millenium, which arrived in the post yesterday. I'd been looking forward to this all day. It's one of my favourite 80's films. I had a glass of sauvignon blanc and a sticky toffee pudding with Sainsbury's Taste the Difference custard. A perfect evening.
Or so I thought.
The disk started to skip bits of the film. Calmly, I skipped back and watched them, not being too concerned because I'd seen the film loads of times before, but it would've been nice to watch without any interruptions. Then came chapter 11.
Bloody bollocky shitting queynting fucking chapter 11 to give it its proper name.
It skipped and skipped and skipped, so much so that I thought I'd gone back in time myself to the school playground where girls, effeminate boys (i.e. me) and skipping ropes abounded.
No matter how many times I tried skipping forwards then backwards, pausing, stopping restarting, taking the fucking disk out of the Christing machine, turning it off, reloading, kicking it across the room (I didn't really do that last kicking bit) and checking the disk for microscopic traces of dust or grime then carefully wiping it and blowing into the arsing machine, it still. Didn't. WORK!
Bastarding fucking Christing Hell!
Hmmm... I feel marginally better.
* Thank you S.I.D. at Tina's.