Blast!
I went to work this morning with a massive spot on my forehead and totally un-awesome hair. Also*, my hips looked huge in my new trousers.
Why didn't I do something about about these personal disasters after seeing myself in the mirror before I left the house?
Because MirrorMe got to the concealer and hair gel first. And also**, my wardrobe. I thought it was me looking good-to-go, not Me.
Git!
I would go into the mirror to give Me a piece of our minds, but I always feel like I'm missing something important once I'm there.
Like a third dimension.
Also***, I keep banging into things because they're all the wrong way around. So now, I'll have to set my alarm five minutes earlier for tomorrow morning, to beat Me to the bathroom.
Bugger.
* For the grammatically correct out there, I know sentences shouldn't start with 'Also'. I'm just doing it to annoy you.
** I KNOW!
*** Still doing it for the annoyance factor.
Yay! First!
ReplyDelete*runs round the room squealing*
Darling, those hips look big in everything! Don't kid yourself.
Tazzy doesn't squeal like a pig.
ReplyDeleteI'm certain that comment is from that Yorkshire cunt Piggy.
Moving cement and now your left the house with bad hair? Are you turning straight or something?
ReplyDeleteTazzy: What about that stripey tank top of yours - surely my hips would get lost in that?!
ReplyDeleteMJ: It did have a porky aroma, didn't it? I should've rammed an apple in it!
Snooze: Egad! I hope not. Must make more effort.
* searches in vain for sequinned shoulder pads and a tiara *
Starting sentences with 'also' is great! I do it all the time!
ReplyDeleteAnd! ... 'nuff said there, I think!!
As for the new trouser/hip conundrum - you didn't buy jodpurs did you?
Instead of trying to hide the massive spot on your forehead why not try and make a feature out of it? A pritt stick and a tube of glitter is all you need.
ReplyDeleteTim: Jodpurs! That'll be it. I must've still been thinking about Svaathor from the previous post.
ReplyDeleteFrobi: Thanks. Now I look like I've got a glitter ball stuck to my head.
Ooh, men with big puss heads really turn me on - don't be so self conscious ;)
ReplyDeleteOSJuiog NFuck!
ReplyDeleteSomebody's gonna have a BIG hangover in the morning. :)
ReplyDeleteHeh. I do it all the time! Starting sentences with also, that is.
ReplyDeleteAlso: I think you're going to have to make the decoding of posts rounds in the morning. Which is now. I think. Maybe.
*throws bucket of cold water at IDV*
ReplyDeleteWakey wakey!
Tea tree oil works wonders on spots IDV. Drink a bottle of it at night and you'll be fixed by morning!
ReplyDeleteI think you need to paint that spot so it looks like a third eye. In a kind of Garth Marenghi way. It'd certainly freak people out. Even more.
ReplyDeleteEmmaK: Eeeww! But at least it's pretty now, thanks to Frobi's suggestion...
ReplyDeleteIDV: You old lush!
MJ: And this afternoon, too!
Dinah: I couldn't manage anything this morning - except for some lying down and moaning.
SID: Gah! I'm awake! I'm awake!
Skillz: Pah! Not very tasty, is it?
ipandah: Maybe I will. Maybe I will!