Monday, 21 May 2018

Of Boiled Eggs and Slinkies


 This is just a quick one before I get back to constructing the constellations of bloggers which, I hope, will go a little way to make up for the lack of a weekend post (that can be blamed on that wonderful Royal Wedding and the build up to RHS Chelsea!).

 While at work today, I noticed a faint smell (minor stench, really) of over-boiled eggs.  It was a little stronger as I entered the kitchen area to get a cup of coffee.  As I walked in, I noticed a slip hazard*: a small puddle of spilt** coffee on the lino, and reminded myself to get a paper towel to mop it up with once I'd got my coffee.
A standard IDV eye-roll
as modelled by the lovely George Clooney
 Luckily there was no one dithering around in the kitchen, so I got my coffee and paper towel without having to roll my eyes at obliviousness and thoughtlessness.  Around the corner, I bobbed down (not this one) and wiped up the coffee puddle.  Whoever had allowed it to slop over the edge of their cup at least had the decency to do it right by the bin, so I was able to pop the now damp and brown paper towel in the bin without having to go out of my way.
 Then it hit me.  As I was reaching for the bin with my left hand, I wasn't paying attention to what my right hand was doing with my cup (filled to the brim, naturally), and the stench of eggs brought to mind Chronosfear and his time-altering abilities
 Oh, no!  What if the spilt coffee was mine?!?  What if I'd got caught in one of Chronosfear's time-twists, and was mopping up my own spillage before I'd even spilled*** it?  
 I dared not look back at what my right hand was doing, or had done, for fear of seeing a spillage, because the Host's OCD would insist that I instantly mop it up.  I would have wrung my hands at the possible paradox had I not been potentially pouring hot coffee all over the floor.  Somehow, with minimal wailing and gnashing of teeth, I managed to gather my wits - and the Host's -  stand up, coffee cup in hand looking pretty full actually, and walk out without looking back.

Ahem!
 What?
 Oh, yes.  Slinkies.


* Workplace Health and Safety in mind, or further evidence for my continued contempt of bloody useless, thoughtless, uncaring people?
** See ***
*** Spelled "spilt" as that's how I say it, but then I go and spell "spilled" because that's how I say it, too.  Sigh...

22 comments:

  1. I can be very sloppy if I'm occupied with "my work" but yes, I do get annoyed at slobs who just assume someone else will clear up their mess.And as for this fad for carrying bloody great buckets of coffee into shops-argggh!

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    1. In the spirit of generosity, I like to think that these spillers and "bloody-great-buckets-of-coffee-carriers" are just oblivious, and not actively ignoring the mess and mayhem that they cause. Although, obliviousness is still no bloody excuse!

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  2. To be frank this is probably your most psychologically revealing post ever just because of your explanation of the spill! Genius. Absolute genius. If rather scary.

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    1. This is but a scratch on the surface, dear Hound.

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  3. Were there no surfaces to rest your coffee on before bending down to mop up the spillage??? You were asking for trouble, Mr Devine! Tut, tut.
    I am more of a 'spilt' person, I like tea.
    Sx

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    1. Well, there was a table behind me, but that would have meant twisting around, and that doesn't always turn out well...

      On the usage of "spilt" and "spilled", I've been giving it very little thought, and decided that I use "spilt" when describing the action of the spiller (i.e. "he spilt it, the clumsy cow!"), but "spilled" when describing the spill without a spiller (i.e. "the coffee spilled all over the floor"). Of course, I may change my mind.

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  4. Wait. I'm confused. You mopped up a spill, but you might have been the spillee, or did I miss a link or are you truly a time-traveller?? Or, in fact, are you just a civil, dear man, concerned about making sure no one has a "slip and fall" incident? Or are you all of the above? ;) xoxox

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    1. All of the above, dear Savvy. It is very confusing!

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  5. Mr Clooney's reaction to being relegated to the cheap seats at the wedding?

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    1. Maybe that partial glimpse of him was what inspired me to use that GIF? Must have been some subliminal thing...?

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  6. I'm also a neat freak at work. Coworkers are constantly begging me for supplies. It's not that we are running low. It's just scattered all over in the supply dump/closet. I keep extras organized in my desk and area. When I take days off, I come back to mostly empty shelves and have to restock my desk and work area. When I'm not working, my manager interviews people or meets with clients using my desk and work space, because it looks neat, organized, and professional. I don't mind, since they at least manage to keep my space clean...or else!

    Our coffee machine in the break room broke. Naturally, there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth at work. Thankfully, a replacement was found the next day.

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    1. It's funny how a broken tea/coffee machine causes more chaos and unrest than all the computers crashing, or the phone lines going down.

      Your desk sounds like a haven, Eros. A haven!

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  7. Anonymous23/5/18 17:52

    You are absolutely right in not looking back. There is the danger of an imminent spill loop, known as sploop. YOu avoided it gracefully !

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    1. Why, thank you, Mago. A sploop sounds like a fate worse than a fate worse than death!

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  8. What if kept doing the same things over and over, except a time lord kept moving us back in time while advancing the clock? Our task would never get done, the clock would keep and advancing and then one day you wake up and are eighty and wishing you had gone to Europe in your youth? It'd be better that this Donald Trump nightmare I am living.

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    1. That's just the sort of interfering nincompoopery that a pesky Timelord would do. Although, I don't think that even a Timelord would deliberately inflict the Marmalade Mugabe (thank you, Savvy!) on anyone. It makes me thankful that we're only going through Brexit. Sorry.

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  9. He has risen! So you've finally freed yourself from that interminable time loop!!
    Sx

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    1. Aha! Yes! I have been thwarted by nice weather and RHS Chelsea (oh, and Netflix).

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    2. Actually, I'm about to be thwarted again: My sister will be arriving imminently to whisk me off to Sheringham Park to see the Rhododendrons. I shall be visiting yours, and everyone elses, upon my return (and before I start sorting out the thousands of photos that I'm bound to take).

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  10. Oops. We crashed... wonder if we can do it again....
    Sx

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    1. Oof! I haven't had an STC crash (Space-Time Continuum) in ages. I'd forgotten what a thrill they could be!

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    2. Have a nice time! It's raining here.
      Sx

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