Tuesday, 4 November 2008

The Prince(ss) and the Pee: Part Two

urprisingly, no one noticed as the huge mirror on the far side of the ballroom rippled slightly before three witches, in a delta formation, stepped out of the reflections and into the real world. Unsurprisingly, the witches were bickering.

"I can't believe you let him escape, Dinah" the witch on the right hissed, her long hair writhing.

"I only reversed the reflection to give him a hankie, T-Bird" the left witch hissed back. "His sniffing was driving me crazy. He must have caught a chill from being so... naked."

"Sssshhh!" I urged. "Timothy has had prior experience at escaping from our clutches, it's no surprise he managed to fool you."

"He did not fool me!" Dinah shot back, stamping her foot, frost radiating out across the wooden floor. "He just... Saw an opportunity."

The other party-goers had started to notice us. T-Bird surveyed the room quickly, assessing the situation. "We're drawing attention" she said. "Time to blend in." And with that, we seperated and faded into the background as we searched for our missing plaything.

~ ~ ~

The ballroom's main doors were opened by a couple of lackeys, revealing a young(ish) princess looking resplendant in a long blood-red dress. She was announced into the room by the butler.

"Prince-" the old butler hesitated slightly as he looked the young... woman up and down. With a raised eyebrow, he continued: "-ess Petra."

Petra grinned and sashayed into the crowd, heading directly for Prince Eros, who took 'her' proffered hand after 'she''d elbowed the gaggle of princess-wannabes aside.

"My lady" he greeted her, then paused as he noticed her not-so-dainty hand. Well, it wasn't so much not-dainty, as it was large. His ingrained chivalry kicked in before too much time passed, and he completed the action, kissing the princess's hand as 'she' giggled behind 'her' fluttering fan. "Have we met before?" he asked.

"Why, I do not believe so" Petra answered coyly, batting his eyelashes in a rather over-the-top way.

"Would you excuse me for just one moment" the prince asked and turned questioningly to the Queen Mother on the dais behind him. The Queen Mother narrowed her eyes at the newcomer. A seed of suspicion had germinated within her.

With the prince momentarily distracted, the dismissed princess-wannabes approached Petra with looks of seething jealousy slapped across their faces.

"I suppose you think you're All That" the lead girl hissed. "Well, you didn't even dress up. Or didn't you know it was fancy dress?"

"Of course I knew" Petra retorted.

"So, what part of the calendar have you come as, then?"

Suddenly, Petra had found his opportunity to be rid of these pesky Breeders. He smiled demurely and answered: "Why, I've come as The Time Of The Month!" Each and every one of the girls faces dropped. A collective "Eeewwww!" sounded before hands were clapped over mouths and the girls hurriedly ran off to the powder room. Petra was beside himself with glee - Now he had Eros all to himself.

~ ~ ~

In one of the castle's guest rooms, as the fancy dress ball was coming to an end, a bed was being prepared for the only remaining princess. The fact that Prince Eros thought there was something odd about the young woman, a feeling that he couldn't quite put his finger on, was neither here nor there. Nor was the fact that he didn't particularly want to put his finger - never mind anything else - upon her, either here, or there. After all, there were rules that had to be followed. If a ball was held for the Prince to find a bride, then the Prince had to find a bride, and that was that.

However, if the princess wasn't actually a princess, well, that was a different matter entirely!

To be continued...


  1. Wow! I.AM.FIRST!!!!

    How'd that happen? ((scratches head))

    Prince Eros better watch out - Petra has plans!!!

    Great story - can't wait for the next installment. Got any room in there for a Canadian Cowgirl kind of Princess????

  2. I can't think why they're suspicious. All seems perfectly above board to me.

  3. Why am I always naked in these things?

  4. Poetic licence.

    And perving.

  5. The princess is actually a QUEEN.

    Watch out for Ponygirl. She's ready to lasso the prince.

    I can see Tim's dangly bits. Doesn't he ever cover those things up?

  6. Ponygirl: Your dedication to Firstness is admirable.

    As for the cowgirl princess: Do you have a rhinestone studded frock?

    WillowC: Some people are just 'glass-half-empty' people, that's all. Suspicious and pessimistic about everything.

    Tim: Please see Willow's response.

    Oh, and: Why not? You haven't got anything I haven't seen before.

  7. Shit, MJ! You almost scuppered my poop deck with that STC manoeuvering.

    Tim's dangly bits are better off in the fresh air, I feel.

  8. I know where your poop deck has been and I'd prefer not to scupper it, thank you very much.

  9. At least we're agreed on one thing, MJ.

  10. Oh god, you've not been cutting out pictures of my face and sticking them on bodies in your … special magazines, have you?


  11. Actually, I have a slinky show shirt that has rhinestones all over the sleeves (Western horse shows, don't you know). Does that count?? ((probably not...))

    I am sure I could come up with something suitable - how about a floor length black negligee (lace and sheer) with an equally sheer cover-up? I could glue some rhinestones onto that for the appropriate bling.

    Never mind Tim's dangly bits - I want to see Prince Eros' dangly bits!

  12. Ponygirl is insatiable.

    Take it OFF, Eros!

  13. Us real cowgirls are known to be a bit raunchy at times! (Unlike the pics of those sisy ciwgirls you keep posting, MJ.)Yeehaw!

    ((it's been a while... what can I say.... and that Eros is HOT!))

  14. I really need to proofread before I hit 'publish'.... that should read "sissy cowgirls".

    ((hangs head in shame))

  15. It's ok ponygirl, we all get a bit flustered when Eros and Tim are around in these stories. It sort of shuts of every part of your brain apart from the one responsible for drooling.

    As for the story... I just think the whole 'he keeps escaping and we keep reeling that suckah back in' trope is simply divine! It's like some more fanstastic supernatural version of the Benny Hill show. Plus, Dinah and I are fully awesome witches now! Awesome!! Super number one!

  16. Is your comment about my hands a compliment or an insult? I can't tell.

    Love the gown, now if I can only get that Ponygirl preoccupied with something else for an hour or two...

  17. Oh I'm loving this! Go Princess Petra! Don't let biology define you.

  18. Ah, Petra, I am not easily distracted once I have my sights set on my target.

    I have my lasso at the ready, to either reel in that Princely Eros, or to hogtie you to keep you away from him! I think I will carry two, just in case I need to do both. It should be easy to trip you up, what with the gown and all.

  19. Oh look Ponygirl, over there!

    Sale on new designer cowboy rhinestone boots!


  20. Great job!

    Well if the Prince(ss) was dressed as that time of the month, I'm sure we won't be seeing any hanky panky...Decorum and all.

  21. CP, foot bling will not cause me to lose focus.

    *takes first lasso and handily snags a foot, tosses CP to the ground and ties his hands and feet together*

  22. Tim: Ummm.. No.

    * looks guilty *

    Ponygirl: The show shirt doesn't count, but the be-rhinestoned negligee migh- Wait a minute... "Never mind Tim's dangly bits"? How dare you! Tim's dangly bits (in fact, any part of Tim) are the be all and end all here. Leave my sight!

    MJ: She is, isn't she.

    T-Bird: I'm toying with having the Benny Hill theme as our theme music.

    'Petra: Ah... It was an insult. Kind of.

    Snooze: Biology certainly hasn't stopped her, I mean him, up until now.

    The rest of the Ponygirls and 'Petras: Girls, please.

  23. Oops! Nearly lost you Eros amidst the scuffle over you. I'm sure 'Petra will be disappointed.

  24. Sorry... sorry.... sorry.....
    Got a bit carried away there.

    Tim's dangly bits are lovely, I am sure. I just kinda have a yearning for Eros' at the moment, if you kknow what I mean!

    CP, sorry about tripping you up and hogtieing you (I hope that is a word....) - no hard feelings, I hope? Why don't we let Prince Eros decide who he wants.

    *spins off in a swirl of glittery black diaphonous fabric, showing plenty of leg in the process*

  25. Oh look! A rhinestone lasso!

    All in a days work Ponygirl eh? I've been there done that but that's a story for another day. Maybe.

    I'm fairly certain Eros will pick me, your outfit is no match to my "that time of the month" gown.

    IDV: Oi!

  26. Your that time of the month gown comes with wings and a sphagnum core?

  27. well maybe it's not that time of the month

  28. So it's not a super-strength all night gown for heavy partying?

    I'm probably going to milk this joke for all I can get. Buckle in...

  29. Get out the fire hose.... let's see how much liquid CyberPetra's dress will absorb before it leaks.

    Now that's the way to slow him down from chasing Prince Eros - soak the dress until it is too heavy and unwieldy for him to move! HA!

    *tosses lariats in a corner and hauls out the hose*

    Now, where did that little minx go?

  30. *slides out of soaked dress and runs after Eros in a black gucci mini dress and 6 inch stilettos*

  31. Ooooo, aren't you the stylish little minx, CP! You can't go very fast in those heels.

    *scoops up lariat and starts swinging while chasing CyberPetra*

    WV: hexagi - if I was a Witch, would I cast a spell?


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