Another night out, another disappointing foray into bagging a man.
Why is it that all the single, eligible Gayers are horrendous, but all the Breeders are gorgeous?
Martin at the Italian we went to last night is one of the latter. Cute arse, narrow waist, broad shoulders - Yes, I mostly saw him from behind - All for naught.
The waitress very helpfully informed us that he was straight. Although, she did say that sometimes she wondered... Anyway, our eyes met a couple of times, and both times he just half-smiled shyly and disappeared into the kitchen. Bah!
Bring on the alsations - So I can be found three weeks later half eaten by them, not for anything else, SID.
It's usually the opposite, or at least here in Toronto it is: the gay men are gorgeous and the straight men are having difficulty with the concept of bathing.
ReplyDeleteAnyhow, Martin sounds like he can be converted.
Snooze took the words out of my mouth. All the Canuck women complain that the gayers are gorgeous and the straights are a mess.
ReplyDeleteI have a single witch friend in Toronto I could fix you up with, you know.
Gaydar is your friend!
ReplyDeleteSex is easy to get but love is far more elusive
*sighs*
You can have Frobi's sloppy seconds when he's finished with Juanton.
ReplyDeleteYeah true IDV
ReplyDeletealthough I probably belong in the horrendous pile
Maybe Martin was just trying to get a big tip; I do believe that on the continuum of sexual orientation, he would be classified as a tease.
ReplyDeleteThere's some things on the menu you just can't order.
ReplyDeleteThe lead singer in the rock band The Breeders was, ironically, lesbo.
ReplyDeleteActually I'm not sure if that's true.
I think there's a universal inverse law of nooky. The more you want it, the harder it is to get.
ReplyDeleteIt's also the same when you are shopping for a smashing outfit. The more you want it, the harder it will be to find anything in your size.
Well, you could always either go to Canadialand or Australialand, where our gayers abide by the laws of gay.
In the meantime... England ladies?
I'm reading 'The Swimming Pool Library' at the moment.
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like one of the chapters.
Martin? It wasn't Piggy was it. I'm sure he only decided to be straight when he saw it was you.
ReplyDeleteSnooze: Actually, there are some monstrous Breeders here too, but I ignore them because they make me pull a face. Which, let's face it, isn't good for attracting the likes of Martin.
ReplyDeleteMJ: I hope you're not saying that in the hope that I'll plunge headlong into the Atlantic after Broom gives up the ghost following all that commuting?
Frobi: It looks like I'm going to have to go back to Gaydar.
* sighs even louder *
MJ: Thanks, but no thanks. I like my men to keep there pants on during dinner.
CyberPoo: Surely not? Just add more sequins!
Eros: He'd get a big tip all right...
Tim: Then they shouldn't be so tantalising!
Skillz: Yay! You made it out of the depths of the sofa!
I don't care if it's true or not: I believe it now.
T-Bird: Nooky? I have the urge to watch a Carry On film now. Wasn't there a Doctor Nookie in Carry On Doctor?
England ladies? It'll be a cold, dark day in Hell...
Kaz: Is it really about a flooded library? That'd be so cool. I love swimming and I love reading - I'm going to join this library!
Tickers: You've got your poofs 'round the wrong way, you cheeky git!
*disappointed*
ReplyDeleteMeatballs!
Order Italian meatballs man!
Then try seductively licking your tongue around one of the said meatballs,next time he looks over.
Is he the chef?
Sounds like SID's had some practice.
ReplyDeleteObserving MJ.
ReplyDeleteNaaah! I meant all the ladeez in da house going to Jolly Olde Englande to sort out those Stallions.
ReplyDeleteAlthought to be completely honest, you probably dodged a severe one there - Italians/Wogs are usually Mummy's boys. And they are messy and demanding high maintenance shits. I stand by my comments.
Um. It's ok for me to say that, being a Wog myself.
ReplyDeleteWhen in doubt apply more glitter?
ReplyDeletePrecisely.
ReplyDeleteNowt to do with libraries or swimming pools - it's all about gay sex!
ReplyDeleteSID: I don't really like meat. I'd probably throw up, which wouldn't go down well.
ReplyDeleteExcept down my front. Or his if he's too close.
MJ: Doesn't it.
SID: Has anyone thrown up over you?
Wog: Ohhhhh... Perhaps if I wasn't being so self-absorbed I would've noticed what you meant the first time. D'Oh!
There's only room for one demanding, high maintenance shit in any of my relationships!
CyberSpangle: Just be careful where you sprinkle...
T-Bird: Exactly (I assume you were thinking the same thing that I was in reply to CyberPoo?).
Kaz: Gay sex?
I remember that...
I'm a stallion. I need sorting out!
ReplyDeleteLadeez - call me!
* puts on wig and heels *
ReplyDelete*sigh* Why do you boys always make my comments one iota away from slash fiction?
ReplyDeleteWhy?