The sky is devoid of clouds and the sun is beating down mercilessly.
I ventured outside to do some gardening and didn't immediately dessicate in the glaring sunlight. Yay! I'm immune!
I've just spent all afternoon sprawled on the patio, half-naked (top, not bottom) attempting to get some sort of tan. It was safe to do so because both sets of neighbours were out for the day, so I wouldn't blind them by reflecting the harsh light off the Host's lily-white skin!
I've just come inside and after checking my arms and torso meticulously, I discover one or two new freckles.
Well. At least it's a start.
You should've just used varnish. Instant tan and waterproof to boot!
ReplyDeleteAh. Handy for those irritating moments when one gets accused of being an evil witch then gets unceremoniously dunked in a pond.
ReplyDeleteThat's a good point - have you ever tested the float/sink theory?
ReplyDeleteOnce. I sank. But only because someone tied me to the ducking stool. Bastards.
ReplyDeleteHowever, after coating myself in Cuprinol, I shall be able to fling myself in the nearest body of water with gusto!
After years of experimenting with sunlight and different tanning solutions I have discovered that it still doesn't agree with me.
ReplyDeleteThat is why I have decided to embrace my lily-white body.
those dunking tanks are scary. we studied them in history class!
ReplyDeleteI embrace my pale body too. Mostly because no one else does.
*throws bucket of water on IVD to hear him exclaim, "I'm melting! I'm melting!"*
ReplyDeleteGotta get some shorts, love. Otherwise you'll have that lovely tan up top, sitting over legs like milk bottles.
ReplyDeletepale but interesting eh?
ReplyDeleteQENNY: He's got The Shorts now. Check out today's posting on my blog to see what your little friend has been up to.
ReplyDeleteI wish some one would embrace my lilly white body.
ReplyDeleteCongrats to the winner!
ReplyDeleteNow get your arse into gear (or 'the' gear) and get thinking about what you're going to do with 'em!
Hopefully much quicker than the cunt that's sending them on to you.
That's so weird, I was listening to Wichita as I read that!
ReplyDelete