Saturday, March 17, 2007

Supernatural origins, part One

In a moment of utter boredom, I decided to do some research about the inordinate number of Supernaturals in and around Norfolk, when compared with the rest of the country, nay, world.

I briefly pondered the popular theory of inbreeding for which the population of Norfolk is, somewhat unjustly (only somewhat, mind) accused of. Yes, it produces mutants, but more along the lines of the mong variety. The Supernaturals I know are definitely not mongs. Some of them are complete hotties - step forward Knight, Blacksmith and Seer. I know there's Dragon, but I don't think even a thousand years of inbreeding could produce something like her. Instead, the result would probably be some sort of human jellyfish.

Or Piggy




Anyway, I used my wand to do some deep probing of the aforementioned studly Supernaturals. To my surprise, I found a small amount of chronohexatic particles inextricably bonded with their DNA. It was these particles that had triggered the formation of their supernatural abilities. The question is: How did these particles get there?

You see, chronohexatic particles are very rare. They can only be generated in an anti-time thaumogenic field, usually by the mutual annihilation of sufficiently thaumically charged bodies. I deduced that all Supernaturals created by the c-hex particles must have been present at some sort of thaumic catastrophe. The only problem was that the Supernaturals were of wildly differing ages. For example, the Lady's abilities had manifested long before Wraith and Seer were even born, so how could they have been at the same place at the same time?
It was at this point that (naked) Knight put forward the suggestion that they'd probably all been in the same place at one time or another. At one time or another being the crux of the matter. He - rather smugly I have to say - pointed out that the trigger point may not be fixed in time. The geological location would remain constant but the time frame could be between whenever the Lady was born - she being the oldest - and now.
Grudgingly, I had to give him that. Irritating bastard. In return, he gave me The Look. The one that makes me want to shag him, but luckily for my self respect, I was too wrapped up in this research to do any more than narrow my eyes at him and sneer faintly, much to his disappointment.

After some ringing around, we gave up - my phone bill would have been astronomical! - and coerced the Lady into telepathically scanning the Supernaturals within her range for a common geographical place they'd been when they were young. She found out that they were all born in the old Norfolk & Norwich Hospital, which is now - almost - luxury apartments. Success! We had our location!


For the next part of the research, I had to do something almost unspeakable.

Oog. It makes me shudder, even now.

9 comments:

  1. This all sounds a bit like Primevel, but with supernaturals rather than snarly CGI dinosaurs.

    I was going to make another insightful point, but I appear to have forgotten it.

    Bugger.

    Oh, I suppose: FIRST!

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  2. OK, so something gross obviously doesn't include hottie Knight or Mr Scarvo....

    Why is Knight always nude? Not that I am complaining or anything, just curious.

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  3. Keep the weirdos out of it, Piggy does'nt help your research, only corrupts it. ::evil grin::

    Waiting with baited breath for the rest of the story

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  4. Makes perfect sense to me - does that bother you?

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  5. Wasn't Primeval fantastic?!

    Or did you dislike it much as you did Ugly Betty, Tim?

    Just for you, T-Bird, I've put in a link to one of Knight's first appearances that should explain all. You'll probably have to read the previous two posts, too...

    Actually, reading the Supernaturals labelled posts should sort it all out.

    Fifthy: At least now I'm not the only one who's going to get in trouble with Piggy.
    The next installment is almost ready.

    Mutley: Not at all. I'm glad I don't have any explaining to do to you.

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  6. Oooooh! *Penny drops*

    You've used your tags for something clever and useful!

    I just spent the better part of the hour reading the back story of the Supernaturals - which puts everything into perspective!

    I am one happy hag now!

    Now I can't wait for the next exciting instalment!

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  7. I quite liked Primevel, even though I thought the acting was rubbish!

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  8. *packages up the big lump of dog shit that we collected specially for IVF and posts it to him*

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  9. Ha! You think it'll reach me, Piggy? Not with mongs like Steve working for Royal Mail!

    HA HA HA HAAAA!

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